ZorbaxtheZoontargian's avatar
Let us never speak of this.
3 Watchers1.6K Page Views15 Deviations
Y
You're a Mean One
       How often has the family sat down, children, singing along, to watch "How the Grinch Stole Christmas", oblivious to the sinister subtext worming its way into our childhood psyches? At first, the narrator makes excuses for the Grinch's evil state of being. He claims that it might have been his shoe size or the size of some internal organ having nothing to do with the thought. As he delivers one of these lines, the Grinch performs a rather familiar trick. He rotates his head three hundred and sixty degrees. This motion has also been observed in the movie "The Exorcist" with a person possessed by a demon. His complaints about Christ
0
0
2
1
R
Reservations
It is night. Young Mike lies in a deep sleep, unaware of the horror that was entering his room. The window creaked open, as a thick mist poured in. It slowly took shape. The form of a man. His hair pitch black, his eyes glowing red, he advanced upon the slumbering figure beneath the sheets. He leaned over the bed, poised to sink his fangs into the veins pulsing with life. As Mike slowly gained consciousness, he caught sight of fangs glinting in the moonlight. His eyes shot open and he opened his mouth to scream. As he did, the closet door creaked. The Count stopped. He picked up a bat from mike’s floor and slowly stalked towards the clos
0
0
I
If You Give A Hobbit A Ring
If you give a hobbit a ring If you give a hobbit a ring, he’ll use it for his own selfish purposes And if he uses it for his own selfish purposes, He’ll use it more And if he uses it more, he’ll be banished. And if he’s banished, he’ll hide in a cave. And if he hides in a cave, he’ll develop split personalities, a weird way of talking, and very pale skin. and if he develops split personalities, a weird way of talking, and a very pale skin, he’ll only care about the ring, calling it his “precious”. and if he only cares about the ring calling it his “precious”, he’ll get really
1
1
The Ex-General's New Job
4
2
Zorbax the Zoontargian
0
1
Einstein KISS-ified
3
1
See all
Y
You're a Mean One
       How often has the family sat down, children, singing along, to watch "How the Grinch Stole Christmas", oblivious to the sinister subtext worming its way into our childhood psyches? At first, the narrator makes excuses for the Grinch's evil state of being. He claims that it might have been his shoe size or the size of some internal organ having nothing to do with the thought. As he delivers one of these lines, the Grinch performs a rather familiar trick. He rotates his head three hundred and sixty degrees. This motion has also been observed in the movie "The Exorcist" with a person possessed by a demon. His complaints about Christ
0
0
2
1
R
Reservations
It is night. Young Mike lies in a deep sleep, unaware of the horror that was entering his room. The window creaked open, as a thick mist poured in. It slowly took shape. The form of a man. His hair pitch black, his eyes glowing red, he advanced upon the slumbering figure beneath the sheets. He leaned over the bed, poised to sink his fangs into the veins pulsing with life. As Mike slowly gained consciousness, he caught sight of fangs glinting in the moonlight. His eyes shot open and he opened his mouth to scream. As he did, the closet door creaked. The Count stopped. He picked up a bat from mike’s floor and slowly stalked towards the clos
0
0
I
If You Give A Hobbit A Ring
If you give a hobbit a ring If you give a hobbit a ring, he’ll use it for his own selfish purposes And if he uses it for his own selfish purposes, He’ll use it more And if he uses it more, he’ll be banished. And if he’s banished, he’ll hide in a cave. And if he hides in a cave, he’ll develop split personalities, a weird way of talking, and very pale skin. and if he develops split personalities, a weird way of talking, and a very pale skin, he’ll only care about the ring, calling it his “precious”. and if he only cares about the ring calling it his “precious”, he’ll get really
1
1
The Ex-General's New Job
4
2
Zorbax the Zoontargian
0
1
Einstein KISS-ified
3
1
T
The Life Lessons of Mario Kart
The Life Lessons of Mario Kart Some people may dismiss Mario Kart as frivolous, but it teaches many valuable life lessons. The key lesson is that life is not fair. It also teaches that it is ok to use cheating and violence to get a head in life, and that winning is everything. It has a profoundly religious message: death is not final, you will just re-spawn, like Jesus. As I was saying, the key lesson, is that life is very unfair. Your skill at driving will not necessarily have anything to do with winning the race. You can go from first to last in a matter of seconds all because some bastard threw a shell at you, or knocked you off the road
2
2
Persona 4 - Twilight
712
2.6K
Y
You might be a Redneck Jedi if
You might be a Redneck Jedi if... 1. Your Jedi robe is a camouflage color. 2. You have used your light saber to open and cook a can of pork and beans. 3. You have cut your three foot long grass with your light saber. 4. You think the best use of your light saber is picking your teeth. 5. You have used a light saber to clean fish or open a non-twist off bottle of beer. 6. You have bantha horns on the front of your land speeder. 7. There is a blaster rack in the back of your land speeder. 8. You have been hunting with your military issued blaster rifle. 9. You can easily describe the taste of Ewok. 10. A peaceful meditation session i
12
5
Down for the Count
3.9K
15.7K
Grievous Crosses the Delaware
200
764
The JOKER
347
5.1K
DEADPOOL v.2
138
2.9K
SPOILER Star Trek Movie
17
22
frodo the ringwraith
396
1.9K

Spotlight

T
The Geologist and Burnt Fish
Andrew Thompson was asleep in front of the computer, surrounded by the objects of his profession. Boxes of rock samples, wrapped in tissue paper and storage containers with tablets covered in ancient scripts lay in varying states of organization and chaos. He worked in both Archeology and Geology. But he loved Geology. He liked thinking about the stone’s experiences. It might have witnessed a medieval witch hunt. It might have been used by cavemen to smash nuts. It might even have been stomped on by dinosaurs. Entire civilizations rose and fell while this rock sat in the dirt. Sometimes, he would even go on an archeological dig. He wou
0
0
Apr 30
Antarctica
Deviant for 11 years
Badges
Llama: Llamas are awesome! (4)

Comments4

anonymous's avatar
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Sign In
lk666's avatar
Thank you so much for your favorite!
Hapo57's avatar
Hapo57Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the fave on Vader Seeks Parenting Guidance! :D
ZorbaxtheZoontargian's avatar
Hey, it was hilarious. What else was I gonna do?

My father never got ME a jetpack either.

*Sniff*