I'm sure you have all noticed that I'm not really active on here, and haven't been for about a year and a half. Things are changing for me, and both with my mental and now physical health, I've taken huge steps away from the internet.
I used to check DA every day for most of my time I've had an account here. Even on trips around the world, I'd go to internet cafes and check in, use my data on my phones, library's at college, etc. DA used to be so important to me and over time people have left, disappeared and moved on.
It's time for me to move on as well. It's not that I'm not interested in my online friendships, but I have so much going on in my daily life that I don't have the spare time I used to.
I barely finish artwork, my hands constantly hurt from drawing so much all of the time, and DA doesn't give me the satisfaction it use to of communicating and engaging with people on here like it used to. I've been burnt out from commenting since my first year of college (that's since 2009). I'm sure it's highly noticeable that I only fav things now, but as much as I want to just be like 'wow I love this! Very cool!' I know that, those are the comments a lot of you would rather not have at all. I remember writing huge novels for my friends and really digging into their artwork. I still look at everyone's art that way, if not more, but I just don't have the energy or brain to write it down into words to express how much I really enjoy something.
I want to draw gifts for my friends on here, I want to talk to you more, but I can't. I don't have any energy to even do things for myself, let alone for other people. I feel very trapped in my depression and social anxiety, and honestly that's the worst part. I've deleted a lot of IM chat software because I can't handle talking to people anymore. It's not one or two specific people, it's everyone. A part of me is so happy that people want to talk to me, but I feel like I can't live up to who I was socially a long time ago.
I'm so tired, and this is one less thing I need to check. I won't be deactivating my account, but I won't continue to post up anymore artwork after December of this year. In the new year I will post up a new journal with where you can find me, and see my new stuff (when it happens), but DA is just not for me anymore. My artwork will be left up for you to save anything I've done for you, look back on it, or for future people to find, I myself just won't be here.
I want to continue making art, sure, but it's taken a new direction that I've been having trouble finding an audience for on DA. I hope you understand and continue following me elsewhere on my artistic journey.
I'm rambling now, but I don't want it to come as a surprise to anyone when the day comes. I've been considering it for a long time now, and this is the year I will finally put this page to rest.