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I've never called your name
I've never seen you smile
I've never shown my feelings
but I knew you, in a dream

I've never stroked your hair
I've never squeezed your hand
I've never watched you cry
but I held you, in a dream

I've never seen you weak
I've never helped you along
I've never crushed your heart
but you rejected me, in a dream

We've never been together
But now we've grown apart
You may never even realize
I still love you, in my heart
This poem was inspired by an actual dream I had, in which "the girl" rejected me. I was never direct enough to push her to this point in reality, and she was too polite to come right out and tell me I had no chance, which had the unfortunate effect of leading me to believe I was still in the race much longer than was good for my mental health.

In truth, I've had several poignant dreams about "the girl", that seem to have acted as a barometer of my feelings about her. I'm ashamed to admit that we've had more meaningful interactions in my dreams than we ever had in real life.

I actually had a dream about her recently, even though I've been over her for many years now. In the dream, I was disgusted with her. I'm careful now to separate my mental image of her from the person she actually is. She doesn't deserve any ill will - I set myself up for disappointment, and she's never owed me anything. But as a reflection of my feelings for her, and the spell I was under, this latest dream was cathartic. It proves that she no longer has a hold over me.

And, with the benefit of hindsight, even though I experienced such negative emotions, I can thank her for giving my life more color. I wouldn't want to go through it again, but I wouldn't take it away if I could.

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Submitted on
March 11