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I have become unstuck in time. I borrow the term from Kurt Vonnegut, the first to come to terms with time travel; however, as his characters moved through time, I find it is more that time has come to move through me. Rather than being unstuck in time, perhaps time has become unstuck in me?
I wonder when it first happened... Did I notice at that moment? Did I feel the moment that I suddenly found my mind trapped in a body that was not the same age? Or more accurately, did I feel the moment that I suddenly found in my body a mind that was not the same age? I think that I didn't, for today I woke up, and have been feeling the same way throughout the day, much as I feel every day, but now, for some reason I realise that I'm not the age I am. My mind is younger, trapped in an older body, yet when I think about it, what I have previously ignored as 'moods' have been the feelings of suddenly appearing as my pubescent self, with all of the awkward self-consciousness and anxieties in a
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Temporary profile for 2010 by zedstar Temporary profile for 2010 :iconzedstar:zedstar 0 0 Sho-cookie by zedstar Sho-cookie :iconzedstar:zedstar 0 0 Arashi's Sho by zedstar Arashi's Sho :iconzedstar:zedstar 2 0 Arashi's Oh-pan by zedstar Arashi's Oh-pan :iconzedstar:zedstar 3 0 gionmatsuri by zedstar gionmatsuri :iconzedstar:zedstar 0 8 need more porn by zedstar need more porn :iconzedstar:zedstar 1 6 Watashi no Ulala by zedstar Watashi no Ulala :iconzedstar:zedstar 5 21 Pedo-wear by zedstar Pedo-wear :iconzedstar:zedstar 8 24 If I were anthro.. by zedstar If I were anthro.. :iconzedstar:zedstar 0 6 Aspa by zedstar Aspa :iconzedstar:zedstar 0 15 Please Buy Beer by zedstar Please Buy Beer :iconzedstar:zedstar 0 7 Scarf by zedstar Scarf :iconzedstar:zedstar 0 6 lower case angel by zedstar lower case angel :iconzedstar:zedstar 0 6
Luna Park
Alone in a dark corner, I smoke. Although, not really. The cigarette is held loosely between my fingers, the fingers marked by nicotine stains already. I only ever hold cigarettes, never wanted to actually breathe them in. I just like holding them. The smoke drifts into my hair, long and lank, sort of red, with light mouse regrowth. As quickly as the light from the roller coaster invades my space of nightly blackness, it disappears, again.  "Beaming into my brain", that's how I thought mind readers worked, by shining a light into your eyes to read what was in your head. From the harsh light of the rollercoaster I could believe it too. Like a sharp stab of ice, it still hurt. The pattern of greenish-purple skating across the shimmering black of my eyelids, like silk shot through with magic and glamour.
I hate Melbourne. The only think I like about it is here, Luna Park. The grandiose title belies it's hideous clashing colours, glaring, flashing lights, grime and the underlyi
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FF-X-2 Rocking the Toyroom by zedstar FF-X-2 Rocking the Toyroom :iconzedstar:zedstar 2 4


Q by Lulamei Q :iconlulamei:Lulamei 8 8 Ben Whishaw by HOMSA-TOFT Ben Whishaw :iconhomsa-toft:HOMSA-TOFT 9 1 happy 28th birthday sho by Karmade happy 28th birthday sho :iconkarmade:Karmade 11 5 Buccaneer Bushwhack by telegrafixs Buccaneer Bushwhack :icontelegrafixs:telegrafixs 192 15 FLCL-05- Kanasaii by flcl FLCL-05- Kanasaii :iconflcl:flcl 332 51 christmas feel by Karmade christmas feel :iconkarmade:Karmade 20 5 It's okay. by KinokoFry It's okay. :iconkinokofry:KinokoFry 1 2 Jazz Sanji and Nami by KinokoFry Jazz Sanji and Nami :iconkinokofry:KinokoFry 446 68 Marzipan Dragon by VeroRamos Marzipan Dragon :iconveroramos:VeroRamos 1,604 588 red haired girl by tobiee red haired girl :icontobiee:tobiee 3,463 338 stranger on the road by warlockss stranger on the road :iconwarlockss:warlockss 52 18 Katara by klar Katara :iconklar:klar 4,119 407 jester guy by tobiee jester guy :icontobiee:tobiee 1,529 171 i flashed madonna by FigoTheCat i flashed madonna :iconfigothecat:FigoTheCat 133 94 dancing time tee-shirt by cleanup dancing time tee-shirt :iconcleanup:cleanup 203 203


Well not really, just a 'blast from the past' moment.

I have a fa(r)cebook (like most people these days), and just recently an ex posted on a picture that someone had taken of me and a friend at a festival (not a trendy music one, but a Japanese style one). Even though I saw his post on the picture, I didn't even twig that it was him. It just didn't register at all.

It took a comment from me on the girl who took the picture's status, and his reply to THAT, for me to finally realise who it was.

It makes me feel like a bad person. I already feel bad enough about just how poor I am at remembering people's names and their relationship with me (I'm generally good at remembering someone's face- not easily quantifiable ways- but knowing how their face moves, their speech tonal patterns etc). So not even realising that it's someone I once cared about??? GEEZ. Way to feel like a right bitch.

I guess it's the way it is when you don't see someone for... 7 years? (I don't know- I'm also a bit rubbish at remembering timelines- OH- JUST figured it out- 2006 was Arashic tour, so 2005 was when I first went to Japan, so 2004 was when I moved here! Therefor we dated in 2003 at some point- AFTER Easter... but before November) So... 6 and a half years ago? Approximately? You get on with your life, get other things to do, meet other people who you see more frequently, so they gradually get pushed out.

I still quite clearly remember what my step-grandfather looked like, and he died nearly 20 years ago. The power of photographs, seeing him in photographs every few years and I remember other details about him, like how his hands moved, the way that the skin on his face was so thin as to be almost translucent. My Grandfather, who died at the end of 2004, HIM I still remember clearly, but I think that's also because we were so close. What I remember most clearly about him was how his eyes crinkled up when he smiled, his hands (which I've inherited- they are so much more like his than anyone else in my family's), and his attitude. Which is good. I'm glad that I remember that and only remember how it *felt* to see him when he was dying, and remember him when he was strong and healthy as opposed to when he was sick.

Just a few things that it made me think about.
  • Reading: amigurumi books


Rarr! I like scribbles, stuff and nonsense.

I dislike having to define myself to a non-existent audience.

Current Residence: Melbourne, Australia
Favourite genre of music: Most things- leaning more towards punk/ska/electropunk at the mo.
Operating System: 7
MP3 player of choice: iTunes, but only because I have to.
Wallpaper of choice: Arashi!
Skin of choice: Clear and blemish free!
Favourite cartoon character: Uzumaki Naruto, Kon
Personal Quote: Jesus loves you, but will he respect you in the morning?


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azusachan Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2011
Love the recent short stories. They're impactful without being crowded in such a short space. Reading feathers gave me a sense of peace, whilst timelapse was saddening. Good emotive writing. I hope you continue to find an outlet through words, you have a talent for it.
zedstar Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2011
Oddly enough- feathers was a good deal inspired by the drawing you did of the angel tying her wings down.
Prilblume Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2007  Student Traditional Artist
B0nkers Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2007
You have a very cute gallery. Well done :aww:
zedstar Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2007
Thank you!
demidemi Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2006
Thank you for the watch! ^^
zedstar Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2007
I couldn't help it! You draw such *cute* little Arashi-mens! Two things I can't resist! Arashi and cuteness! ^_^
Gerkinvision Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2006
Ol Zeddy, the first person i ever stalked and had a crush on online XD
How ya doin =D
zedstar Featured By Owner Mar 25, 2006
You had a crush on me online? @_@ I didn't know that...
Gerkinvision Featured By Owner Mar 25, 2006
haha, was a long long long time ago, back when i was new to the web and you were a mod on the madboards, mods were like the people with ultimate power, was a turn on XD
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