Zatarian

1. You get way too many boxes from a friend, now you can't walk in your apartment.2. Start stuffing boxes, pick up crying baby.3. Continue stuffing boxes with one hand, try to hold on to baby with other.4. Baby fell asleep, empty box and redo, fold nicely this time.5. Baby woke up, take twice as long because you need to stop to follow orders.6. Pick up sticks. Repeat steps 2-5 countless times.7. Leave heaps of garbage in landlord's bins, wonder where all the garbage came from.8. Economize on moving expenses and borrow brother's father's in-law suv, move in five shifts in three days.9. Walk in to new apartment and stumble over all your boxe...

I'm flying back to the States tonight. I'm a little excited, I haven't seen my parents in nearly six months and all but one of my siblings in nearly a year. I'm probably going to blurt out the first stupid comment that comes to mind when I see them. Then the awkward silence. Above that I also have to leave The Holy Land; I can't take it, I want to stay. All this anxiety is making me hungry. I stopped making sense to myself a long time ago. I hate thinking, it's dangerous. Look at what it's doing to me now, it's making me write another journal. What am I going to do with myself?Someone please help with some comments, I think I need some sup...

Last night, party at the Mir Yeshivah, wild; there were way too many guys dressed in woman's costumes to be comfortable. I went to bed at two and woke up to pray at the Western Wall at sunrise; the two friends who were supposed to come with me, slept through it. I got an hour and a half of sleep after breakfast; I woke to the sounds of party trucks outside my window. I drank two bottles of wine in one sitting; made a Tov V'Hameitiv on the second bottle. I got high; I still had control of my mind and my actions. I went to my rabbi; he was drunk. I got a blessing from him; it made me happy. I took a cab back to my cousin's neighborhood; the ...