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About Traditional Art / Hobbyist Z Gaunt NunciaCanada Recent Activity
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Blank Pages :iconzarconianematica:Zarconianematica 0 0
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From Pictures to Perspective :iconzarconianematica:Zarconianematica 0 0
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Pantoum of the Origins of War :iconzarconianematica:Zarconianematica 0 0
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Simon's 'Villain'-elle :iconzarconianematica:Zarconianematica 0 0
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Ani's Sestina :iconzarconianematica:Zarconianematica 0 0
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Say It Again :iconzarconianematica:Zarconianematica 0 0
Mycena Coloring Page Nest by Zarconianematica Mycena Coloring Page Nest :iconzarconianematica:Zarconianematica 0 0 Mycena Word Cross by Zarconianematica Mycena Word Cross :iconzarconianematica:Zarconianematica 0 0 Mycena Soduko by Zarconianematica Mycena Soduko :iconzarconianematica:Zarconianematica 0 0 Page 2 by Zarconianematica Page 2 :iconzarconianematica:Zarconianematica 0 0 RP OC's by Zarconianematica RP OC's :iconzarconianematica:Zarconianematica 0 1
Literature
Dear God
Strength is only what we put on our masks so that other do not see our fear;
that creeping fear that steals your breath
your words
and makes everything harder
day after day
Slowly you get used to the panic
Slowly you get lost to that void
Slowly you lose yourself
in the gripping terror
that you could lose her
This mask in place is to keep you smiling
This mask on my face is to keep you from guessing
that my worst fear
is a day without you here
Please, God, if you hear me, if you are there
Save her
Not for me
Not for my selfish reasons
But because True Strength is hard to find in this world
Because a true smile is a rare gift
Because no one can replace a Mother
Because no one can ever compare to her
This world needs her
Her voice
Her smile
Her strength
Her will to continue past all that drags her down
I need her
I need her like no one else ever knows
Not even her
God, give me the strength she has
to keep my smile no matter the pain
to keep my voice no matter how much I scream
to keep my
:iconZarconianematica:Zarconianematica
:iconzarconianematica:Zarconianematica 1 0
Nuncia Redo by Zarconianematica Nuncia Redo :iconzarconianematica:Zarconianematica 2 0 Adam by Zarconianematica Adam :iconzarconianematica:Zarconianematica 0 0 OC angelic by Zarconianematica OC angelic :iconzarconianematica:Zarconianematica 0 4 OC Devlin by Zarconianematica OC Devlin :iconzarconianematica:Zarconianematica 1 0

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Gabriella Six-wings by Nim-Sindarin Gabriella Six-wings :iconnim-sindarin:Nim-Sindarin 15 5 Cassandra, The Blood Prophet by Nim-Sindarin Cassandra, The Blood Prophet :iconnim-sindarin:Nim-Sindarin 17 3 Let's try by 02321 Let's try :icon02321:02321 5 0 We are... doing nothing? OR Tease 2 by Fatenight
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We are... doing nothing? OR Tease 2 :iconfatenight:Fatenight 79 53
Tease by Fatenight Tease :iconfatenight:Fatenight 132 66 DBZ - Passion - 12 by Shinjuchan DBZ - Passion - 12 :iconshinjuchan:Shinjuchan 87 25 DBZ - Passion - 13 by Shinjuchan DBZ - Passion - 13 :iconshinjuchan:Shinjuchan 77 49 DBZ - Passion - 16 by Shinjuchan DBZ - Passion - 16 :iconshinjuchan:Shinjuchan 94 34 DBZ - Passion - 17 by Shinjuchan
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DBZ - Passion - 17 :iconshinjuchan:Shinjuchan 92 103
DBZ - Passion - 18 by Shinjuchan DBZ - Passion - 18 :iconshinjuchan:Shinjuchan 76 13 DBZ - Passion - 19 by Shinjuchan DBZ - Passion - 19 :iconshinjuchan:Shinjuchan 125 69 Sara by 02321 Sara :icon02321:02321 5 0 Hamilton waterfall 4 by damonlied Hamilton waterfall 4 :icondamonlied:damonlied 1 0 Hamilton waterfall 5 by damonlied Hamilton waterfall 5 :icondamonlied:damonlied 1 0 Hamilton waterfall 6 by damonlied Hamilton waterfall 6 :icondamonlied:damonlied 2 0 Hamilton waterfall 7 by damonlied Hamilton waterfall 7 :icondamonlied:damonlied 2 0

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Of all the things to stare at, I often find myself staring at blank pages. Lined with blue and black, or simply white. I dont know why I stare at them, though I do it so often there must be a reason. A reason to have such a longing for the simple blank space, be it to be filled, or simply just to be. Papers are everywhere; scraps hidden in pockets and on walls. Just more reminders of what I do not know yet. Or maybe I do.

I know I steal pens, collect pencils, erasers and rulers. I dont know why, but I always want them. Always feel I need them right in that pivotal moment, slipping them into my bag or sleeve as I leave the counter or desk. It doesnt feel good to do it, it just feels right. Like I was meant to have these utensils, though why is lost to me. I only know what I do, not always the reason.

I cant stand silence. I find myself whistling or humming tunes, talking to no one or just making general noise, as if the silence itself were the problem. I think its that in the silence I hear other things, and I dont always like what I hear. Drown out the silence, so that I can have silence. I like silence, when it is my own.

I love words. The shapes of them, the cadence, flow, traipsing along the pages in strange figures and dancing in slants and lines and boldly going where no other thing goes. Words alone are wonderful, the meanings more so. Meanings that are so personal that entire books, pages of words, had to be made just to explain to someone what this series of symbols means to most people. People use words so often that they change the meanings of them, making monsters out of flowers. I only know that they do this, yet I never know why. I only know you did this when its too late.

Yet all of these markings on the page mean nothing at all. Just basic observations and winding circles of thought that create scribbles on the page, covering the blank spaces with what should be meanings. Because words have those, whether we mean them to or not. So maybe all this means everything. Maybe you wont see it, because your meanings are different then mine.

Or maybe this will just be a blank page again, with endless possibility, so that I can stare into the abyss again, and wish for more meaning to it. Because I know why I stare so longingly at it, I know why I always have a pen handy. Its so one day I can see meaning in what I do. I just dont know why. Why I have the need to see meaning, when it wont mean anything to you.

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Pretty picture, smiling faces, pretty places
Lonely heart, hidden spaces, crying faces

What once was dream had become the nightmare
What once was Van Pyre had become the old Fair
In an instant the childhood was alive and broke
In an instant the child, alone, was awoke

The world was his oyster, a game, a play
The world is full of liars and cheats, sky grey
It didn't matter in the end if he cried
It didn't matter in the end who had died

Cleaning up the mess the world had become
Cleaning it up for those who were from
Where the world was cruel, painful, unfair
Where the world would be new, together, a pair

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The first angel, Lucifer, lost his way,
his father’s holy will he chose to defy.
The son was not the only one to betray-
God would exile his first son from the sky.

His father’s holy will he chose to defy,
he swore to God the tyrant would pay.
God would exile his first son from the sky,
the angel would be left in Hell to decay.

He swore to God the tyrant would pay,
he’d bring an army to Heaven’s gate.
The angel would be left in Hell to decay,
he’d recruit those damned to a similar fate.

He’d bring an army to Heaven’s Gate;
soldiers, sinners, and demons alike,
he’d recruit those damned to a similar fate.
Proud Lord and angels they would strike.

Soldiers, sinners, and demons alike
a call to arms against common foe;
Proud Lord and angels they would strike,
with his rapidly growing army below.

A call to arms against common foe,
conscripting new souls at a devilish price,
with his rapidly growing army below,
men and women trapped by their own vice.

Conscripted souls paying a devilish price,
the angels come now without mercy,
men and women trapped by their own vice,
their only choice: condemnation or cruelty.

The angels come now without mercy,
the origin of humanity’s struggle is unknown,
their only choice: condemnation or cruelty,
lead into the war by an invisible throne.

The origin of humanity’s struggle is unknown,
even in the darkness, they were unable to bend;
lead into war by an invisible throne,
all father’s dissenting children won in the end

Even in darkness, they were unable to bend
the son was not the only one to betray-
all father’s dissenting children won in the end
and the first angel, Lucifer, lost his way.

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No harm done. I’m already forsaken,
we’re rotten already, down to the core.
They say I'm wicked, but they're mistaken.

Our souls are dirty, barren and broken-
They call us sick and twisted; Bastard! Whore!
No harm done. I’m already forsaken.

You won’t like liberties we have taken,
but they say all is fair in love and war!
They say I'm wicked, but they're mistaken.

The horrors we commit go unspoken;
a secret burden, we can’t take much more.
No harm done. I’m already forsaken.

You say we’re demons but we’re only men,
and you have not seen what hell has in store.
They say I'm wicked, but they're mistaken.

My faith in heaven has now been shaken,
why didn’t your angels save me before?
No harm done. I’m already forsaken,
You say I'm wicked, but you're mistaken.

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I had not known how it felt to suffer,
my family never felt so broken.
Mother was sick, and father faced demons;
when mother died, he and I went to war.
He used me! I and mother, both betrayed.
You made your bed, now, father; time to lie.

The good book taught me that all demons lie,
but nothing worse could you make me suffer;
at least this time I know I’ll be betrayed
before my heart and will can be broken.
They say that they want me to join their war-
I’ll find better companions with demons.

Don’t worry, mother, I’ll side with demons
to make father regret this filthy lie.
My family is no stranger to war.
I’ll pick my poison if I must suffer,
I won’t allow myself to be broken,
each soul down here will one day be betrayed.

It was only myself that I betrayed,
the bittersweet promises of demons,
left me alone and once again broken.
It was for nothing, all of it a lie!
Forever forced to make others suffer,
no soldier can escape this futile war.

Could there be peace hidden among this war?
I pray this love divine not be betrayed,
this love is mine; alone I must suffer-
I’m not the only one fighting demons.
Ever again, if I would choose to lie,
may it be you who leaves me so broken.

I would, again, without you be broken-
but casualties are a part of war.
My tears obscure the place where you now lie;
your body. My eyes pray they are betrayed!
They dare call us, lost souls, the worst demons,
but only angels make me so suffer!

I will make both demons and angels suffer,
they will hear my broken cry in the din of war,
what has betrayed me at my feet will lie.

deviantID

Zarconianematica's Profile Picture
Zarconianematica
Z Gaunt Nuncia
Artist | Hobbyist | Traditional Art
Canada
I am a <hidden gender> of <hidden> age, from <hidden location>. Other than that, I like drawing, eating, sleeping, and role playing. Having spent the better of my years writing stories and drawing, I have a wide range of things I can do with both.
Interests
  • Listening to: random mix
  • Reading: whatever I just posted up
  • Watching: my refresh button waiting to push it
  • Playing: GBA emulator: Pokemon Emerald
  • Eating: the life out of my poor bf
  • Drinking: whatever my love brings me to drink, bc im lazy
A lot of my newer additions have revolved around a specific scenario, aka Soulless Soldiers.

It is a very extensive story that has been in development between me and another for the better part of forever, and as such have more or less overflowed my mind. So the entries pertaining to specific madness is all pertaining to one specific character that has stolen my heart as readily as any other poor love sick fool.

Meet Faust, an Origin of the Soldiers. And meet now, his madness, as described by his closest friend throughout eternity. You will see that the story is more than just a simple plot line, yet Faust's story is particularly close to me, as the sheer amount of struggling he does against fate, life and time is in a word, amazing.

He sold his soul to fight in a war that he had no reason to be in, all for the power to have his love back, and the promise of her soul in return for his participation. Out of this sheer dedication, he had risen fast and far as one of the most powerful of the soldiers, yet never wavered in his love for his lost wife, Ceras. His dear friend often asked him throughout the ages why he fought so hard for her, and he could only come up with one reason.

She was everything; without her, there is nothing.

His friend kept true to his word, and as the war was won, he was given his wifes soul, and a new life to live with her...

But fate is a bitch.

Not more than a year was he able to spend with his darling, and as they knew they were expecting his first son, his happiness couldnt have been more complete.... nor could it have been so completely broken, when the barrier threw him out of the world, far from his love, with no way back to her.

It was then that his madness set in so completely, that he worked tirelessly for an age to break this barrier, to have his wife back. But as immortal as he was, he forgot how time still moved for those who were not graced as he was. By the time his friend had found him again, many years later, it was too late for Ceras. She was mortal, and as such, would have succumb to aging as mortals do, and it was this that broke Faust for the final time. That he had once again failed. That once again, he was left desolate in a world that now held no meaning for him.

And so in his madness, he chose to refuse the obvious facts of life and time, and instead chose to believe she was still alive, waiting for him somewhere in the world, if only he could find her...

Such dedication to one single thought, while some believe it as madness, I see it as amazing. That one man could be so dedicated to the life of another, that his own life is nothing if but a conduit for her return.

The question lingering now is simple. Will he find her soul, and be at peace in this new life once more; or is he so far gone that not even his love would recognize him in his madness, and that peace would only find him if it were through death?

The ending is to be see through the eyes of the beholder, and as the conduits of inspiration flicker with new light, may they bring forth new life for this plight, and give this man the peace he deserves above all else-- whether it be by his happiness restored, or his life ended, so that their twin souls may wander freely in the world, together for eternity....

The die are cast. Now we wait for the threads of fate to be woven into this tapestry we have begun....

Comments


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:iconnim-sindarin:
Nim-Sindarin Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for another set of :+fav: :hugs:
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:iconzarconianematica:
Zarconianematica Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Not a problem at all! I love your art work, keep it up!
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:iconnim-sindarin:
Nim-Sindarin Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I will and maybe I will become so popular that my designs would be used in a video game!
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:iconnim-sindarin:
Nim-Sindarin Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
thanks for the fav!
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:iconjijikero:
jijikero Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the watch! :iconveryexcitedplz:

And I hope you enjoy my work that is to come! :flirty:

(If you left a commment or response, I will get to it- I try to answer them all, but takes time. XD)
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:iconjijikero:
jijikero Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the :iconpikafavplz: ! If you like "You Make Me Feel...", check out the rest of the yaoi/bishie art requests: [link]

Or check out my yaoi manga: [link]

Or the yaoi manga's portrait gallery: [link]

Thanks again! :D
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:iconpoetrymann:
Poetrymann Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2012  Professional Writer
:iconamongststars::icondsfav1plz::icondsfav2plz::icondsfav3plz::iconamongststars:
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:iconlukeiatsune:
LukeIatsune Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2012
join me in a character discussion about suki and learn how she was created C:
[link]
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:iconlukeiatsune:
LukeIatsune Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2012
you're invited to a character talk! it's so much fun and we all get to know SHANK a little better as well as make a few friends
here are some examples if you haven't already seen them [link]
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:iconzarconianematica:
Zarconianematica Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I asked a few silly questions that I thought would be interesting, though the first two are a serious curiosity for me~! (sent via note)

Cant wait to read more! And thank you so much for letting me join the fan club!
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