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1. I haven't known you long, but you're sort of a mentor to me, even though we're the same age. You've seen so much more of the world, and you've brought a new kind of knowledge that I can learn from, and I try to absorb it like a sponge. At the same time, I have come to know that you're as human as I am, not that ethereal, elfish being I saw you as before. But, despite the faults I know you possess, that makes you all the more dear to me. You seem so distant sometimes, and that frightens a lot of people. It used to frighten me, but that was before you opened up into the bright, caring, strong, but ultimately quiet person I know you to be.

1. I can’t say that much has changed in the past few months, save that I’m more aware of how many people don’t like you. I can honestly say I don’t really understand that; they dislike you because you stand up for what you believe in. That baffles me beyond belief. I think if they took the time to think outside their limited little boxes, they’d see you for the beautiful person you really are. It makes it hard sometimes, trying to balance them and you. But you’ll always have me, even if they don’t like that.

2. We haven't even known each other that long either, and yet I feel like I've known you all of my life. From that tiny little link that brought us together, we've grown something grand and ridiculously fun. I know you're working a lot this summer, so we don't get to talk much, but we never seem to drift apart. You have the peculiar talent of being able to cheer me up even when I'm at my gloomiest. You make me feel so happy and alive, when I'm bickering back and forth with you and ranting about the most random things. And one of the best things? You never judge anything I say, no matter how off the wall or fucked up it may be.

2. The past two months have been… a rollercoaster. Hearing both sides of the argument from you and your (now ex-) girlfriend, I don’t think it was anyone’s particular fault. You just aren’t really compatible, and the rest of us realized that from the start. We had hope you would be good for each other, but it didn’t work out that way.
I miss you. We haven’t talked much this summer, what with both of us being busy.
Yet at the same time, you confuse me. Two weeks ago you were heartbroken, and said you didn’t have a will to live. Now you find yourself with a new girlfriend… I have to wonder how well you know her. I wish you all the happiness, but I don’t think I can understand it.
All the same, I’m going to love having lunch and a class with you again this year.

3. I would do anything for you, you know that? I know sometimes it seems like I'm always quiet, and contrary, and neurotic, and don't want to talk to you; I may tend to be quiet at times, and I know I'm contrary and neurotic, but I always want to talk to you. Sometimes I'm quiet because I don't want to bug you if you're busy. You're one of my best friends, and I love you. I hope our maniac carnival never sees an end. You've taught me so much in the years I've known you, and thank you. I wouldn't be who I am today without you. I can't even express all the things I could say here, because I'd be rambling on and on for the rest of my life.

3. I spent all of my junior year of high school worrying that I would lose you. But now I’ve found I haven’t lost you at all; if anything, we’re closer than ever. There have been so many enlightening  and purely wonderful conversations we’ve had this year… I’m glad we can talk like that. Thank you for everything.

4. I miss you so much. I know you're really not that far out of my reach, but I'm more introverted than I seem at first glance. I want to call you, but I'm afraid of my own lack of skill at phone conversations. You're one of the major pillars of my life, and I don't want to lose you.

4. It is one of my great shames that I have yet to call you. I keep reaching for the phone, and then chickening out. Maybe I’m just neurotic, but it makes me wonder, since you have my phone number too. Do you not want to talk to me anymore? I wish I was brave enough to find out.

5. We don't talk hardly at all anymore. You've moved on in your life, and I wish you all the happiness in the world. You deserve it. But sometime, you should come back and plot devious plots with me.

5. It is another shame that we haven’t talked again yet either. But we’re both busy, and people drift apart. Even so, if we ever stumble across each other again, you’ll still find a friend in me.

6. Sometimes, you make me mad enough to kill, but I love you anyway. Our friendship is a little strange, having transformed from one thing into another, but... I feel comfortable in it still, it at least so far. Sometimes, I'm a little afraid of you. I want to make you proud, but occasionally I feel like nothing I do can ever please you. But you're another one of those major pillars, and without you I would topple.

6. I feel like we’ve drifted. You intimidate me sometimes, and it feels like every attempt to breach the gap falls short of what you want, or what you expect from me. I’m sorry I’m shy. I don’t want to lose you.

7. We started off as enemies, and then became friends. Now, without you knowing it, we're almost back to being enemies again. I like you, but... I don't think you're healthy for me. It breaks my heart, the way we and all the others have drifted apart. I wonder sometimes if the better days I remember ever existed. I still have fond memories, whether they're real or not. I think, now, I don't really care one way or the other; we were friends, once, and that's all that matters.

7. The summer has dulled my dislike a bit, and now I just miss you. We’ll see how long that lasts when school starts again.

8. You were my best friend, once. I loved you with all that I had, and you threw it away. We are arguably "friends" now, again, after I finally grew up and forgave you and stopped angsting about the fact that I couldn't control the outcome. It makes me laugh, now, to see how pathetic you've become; perhaps that's just my own arrogance talking, but... I am so glad I escaped your clutches. I wish the best for you, but I want no part in your nonsense. You can't even see past my smile when I'm lying through my teeth; does that make me a bad person, or you?

8. I don’t like you, but I still wish you the best. Maybe with that asshole out of your life now, you’ll get a chance to be happy.
Sometimes I can see the person inside you that I used to love. Does she still exist? I hope you’ll let her out sometimes.

9. I've admired you a long time from afar, and was always sad that we'd drifted apart. I think that will change, now. If I ever seem like I'm distant or aloof, I assure you I'm not doing it on purpose. I'm just shy, despite how little I seem to be at first. I can't tell you how glad I am that a little twist of fate threw us together again.

9. What can I really say about this? If someone had told me how these past two months would go, I wouldn’t have believed them. But this has been, and still is, purely amazing. Thank you for everything. I love you so much. I only hope I can make you as happy as you make me, and give you half the things you give me. I don’t deserve someone as amazing as you. I love you.

10. At times I'm not sure if I love you or hate you. But I think, ultimately, despite all the times we clash over stupid things, and all the times we drive each other up a wall, I love you. I hope you love me too, no matter the natural rivalry between us. You're one of my greatest friends... even if we always feel like we have to beat each other at everything.

10. You’re the other half of the argument, and I feel like a dick for not taking your side. But I know how melodramatic you are, and how much you blow things out of proportion. You had a hand in the disaster just as much as he did. But you’re still my friend, and I hate feeling like I’ve failed you.

11. You're one of those people who I'd never have thought to be friends with, save for the anonymity the internet gave us at first. That's not to say I dislike you... It's simply that you're vastly older than me, and halfway across the world. I can't tell you how much I value your insight, and I hope you're doing well. I love talking to you.

11. We haven’t gotten to talk much, with us being so busy. I miss you. I hope you’re doing well.
The updated version. It's been a crazy two months.

Taken from =Artheeria, who got it from ~Ebony-Snow.

The rules:

+ List 11 things you want to say to 11 different people.
+ Don't say who they pertain to.
+ Feel free to comment, but don't confirm or answer anything.
+ Never discuss it again.
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September 2, 2009
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