I just started watching you, and I generally just lurk quietly on DA, but after reading your last few posts I've got to say something.
The way he cut you off was a shit thing to do. You didn't deserve that. No one does, and you had every right to be worried. After a two-year relationship where you can't exactly walk down the street to check on the person you love, sudden silence is terrifying. You get it in your mind that something horrible has happened, and it makes you feel helpless. But don't drive yourself crazy over wondering why it happened. Center yourself by asking what you're doing to do next.
Ex's have a knack for sucking the life out of you, even when they're not there. The more you think about him, the more energy you lose. So stop. Breathe. Look around and take stock of your surroundings. If you're at home, odds are there are things nearby that make you happy. A beloved pet. Your tablet. Artwork, books, hobbies, a trinket you bought simply because it made you smile and you just had to have it. Whatever those things may be, take a moment to enjoy them. Even without your ex, you still have those things. You can still find joy in them. Don't let his ghost take that away from you.
It's been a while since this happened, and I sincerely hope some of the pain has edged off a little. Don't expect to feel completely back to normal this fast, though. It takes time to get over a relationship, and for some people, it can affect them for years. But here's what you need to remember: you know that stabbing ache in your chest? The one that gnaws at you at night, makes you tear up, and churns in your stomach until you think you're about to throw up?
Don't let it fester inside you. Don't let it consume your life to the point where you can't find happiness anywhere else. When you feel it eating at you, cool yourself off with a glass of water, look yourself in the mirror, and tell yourself that you are strong. You don't need to lean on someone else in order to stand tall. You lived without him once, and you can live without him again. You need to take that poison he left inside of you and start sucking it out, bit by bit. And if you find you're still struggling, if you really can't stand on your own, get help from someone who makes a living from helping people just like you.
I'm serious. There is no shame in seeking out a therapist. They exist solely to help people who are being overwhelmed with stress. They are the best people to talk to, because they know exactly what to say. The support of friends is wonderful, but sometimes it's still not enough. My sister let her anxiety strangle her for years before she finally worked up the courage to ask for help from a therapist. It was the best decision she ever made. Maybe it will help you. Maybe it won't. Either way, laying in bed and crying every night isn't going to make you feel any better. That only shows that he still has power over you. Take that power back. This is your life, and you deserve to live it with the same joy and dignity as anyone else - and that goes for anyone else reading this who's suffered through the same experience.
Don't blame yourself. Hell, don't even blame him. All this time you're wasting on pining for someone who's treated you like shit could be better spent on treating yourself like gold. Instead of looking back, look forward. The world is waiting for you. Embrace it.
Good luck, Zaina. I wish you the best.