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About Photography / Artist Senior Member MoniqueFemale/Netherlands Groups :iconphotographyguide: PhotographyGuide
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I Will WriteI will write until
my pen creates
blisters on my
fingers
I will write until
blood flows
from my fingertips
and I am unable to
stop the flow of
words from my mind
And I will write until
my thoughts run out
and I simply cannot
think any more
At Least You Save MeTu, che dal grigio dei miei giorni mi salverai. E l'inverno dagli occhi mi asciugherai.
Almeno tu
Salvami tu.
At least you are here. Or at least, that was my perception. You were always there, making promises. You were there to pick me up when I was drowning in my thoughts and my lungs felt like sponges dipped in formaldehyde. You were there when I was dwelling in the clouds of everlasting madness while hovering with the sun and moon, trying to get them to tell me their poetry through the night sky. You were there when I wrote my stories in the blood that was pouring from the darkened sky of my soul.
At least you were there when the salt soul of the ocean took away my vision, you were there when I couldn’t see the words with my own eyes anymore. You were there to read them to me, to say them out loud so I could save them in the muddy waters of my mind, forever to be kept there.
But you weren’t there when the talons were trying to grasp me from the shadows. You weren’t
I cry with herMy daughter won’t stop screaming and crying in the middle of the night. I visit her and ask her to stop, but it doesn’t help. My husband thinks I am crazy. He has never heard her. But I do. I hear my baby. She has been calling out for me since the day I lost her. I want to hold her. I want to comfort her. I want her to know I am here but it is like she doesn’t hear me. I want her to hear me.
It has been a few years since I lost her, but I have never forgotten her. She has always been with me, in some way. I was not given a choice, the decision was made for me. They told me there was no way I could take care of her in my condition, there was no way she would grow up to be happy. They told me it was better this way when they forced me into a gown and onto a hospital bed. They told me she would never have to suffer. I will never forget how they held me down, and when I wouldn’t cooperate, they held a mask over my face to put me to sleep. I never went to sleep entir
Four Words“Nolite te bastardes carborundorum.” The four very distinctive words that she would repeat over and over and over again. She never told me what they meant. I had to figure that out for myself. She had written them down in all of her notebooks, carved them in the walls, in her brain. She carved them in my brain, too. Sometimes she’d be laughing manically when she said them- other times she would be sobbing, hiding herself behind her thick hair.
I remember her screams, her cries, her sobbing. I remember her laughter. Her smile. Her soft voice. She had the brightest green eyes I had ever seen. The softest auburn hair I had ever felt. Skin as pale as ivory. We’d quarrel, we’d laugh, we’d help each other. She was my best friend, and when she was gone, I had no one.
She didn’t leave of her own free will, though. She never wanted to leave. She had told me so on multiple occasions. She was given no choice, though. She was taken away from me in such a c
Scratching in the Walls“I can hear them in the walls,” she said, pulling on the hem of her short white dress. Her dark hair had fallen in front of her face, but I could still feel her fear. I crossed my legs, readjusting my notepad and gripping my fountain pen tighter in my hand.
“They are always whispering my name,” she looked at me through her hair, not bothering to remove it from her face. “Then they start scratching, they want to come in and they are coming closer, I can feel it.” She dropped her gaze onto her feet, which were bare. I’d never seen her wear shoes, or even socks, not even in the dead of winter. I scribbled  her words onto my notepad, waiting for the flood of words that I knew was going to come. She rubbed her knees before continuing.
“They know my thoughts. They know everything about me. And I know they’re coming closer. Their scratching is getting closer and closer and closer to my head every night. They are eager to get out and o
The End of the World“The world did not end in a bang, or a whisper, but rather, one scream at a time.” Her icy blue eyes were staring at a point in the distance, she didn’t seem to notice I was there as she let herself slip into her thoughts. “I still remember when that happened.”
I sat on the edge of my seat, looking at her, waiting for what else was to come. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and spoke…
“It was a regular Tuesday afternoon when the sky suddenly seemed to turn black and the sun disappeared behind all that darkness. I was playing on the see-saw with my little sister. We could hear mother’s calls in the distance, telling us to come home, and we did. We ran for our lives. We were out of breath when we arrived at home, where mother was standing on the porch, calling out for us. She seemed so relieved to see us, yet she had no idea what was about to come. She quickly ushered us into the house where father was waiting for us, sitting in his
Highway to Hell“A deep dark secret?” Alannah sighed, looking at Jeremy. “You’re on a roll with the weird questions lately. First the decision thing, now this.”
Jeremy grinned, looking at her. “Well?”
“If you weren’t my best friend, I would never even engage in this kind of conversation with you.” She moved her long black hair away from her face, folding her legs underneath her as she got more comfortable in the big old chair that could fit a giant. She twisted her bracelets around her wrists, trying to come up with something to tell Jeremy.
“You know, you practically know everything about me already Jer,” she said, not looking up from her bracelets. “I’m not sure what there is to tell.”
“Come on, everybody has one they don’t ever tell anyone.”
“Well yeah, that’s the point of a secret. You don’t share it.” She sighed, thinking back about the time she still lived at home w
The Road Less Travelled“Bloody hell, I think you know what moment that would be for me,” she said, looking at him. “I think the most life-changing moment for me was the day I decided to leave that place.”
He nodded, grabbing his cup of coffee from the table. “Tell me about it, though. I’m curious. How do you think your life would have turned out?”
“Probably a living hell,” she murmured, sipping her coffee. “I probably would have ended up like my sister, in his claws, and then abandoned after some time because he’d found a new toy. She’s still kicking herself over that, you now.” She sighed, dropping a few sugar cubes into her coffee, one by one, to see them create the splash. “I honestly don’t even feel comfortable talking about all this, but I know for sure that I wouldn’t be where I am today had I not left. I would have been his for some years, until he got bored of me, moved on to someone else and left me to ro
Mirror, Mirror.When I look into the mirror, I see nothing. There is no reflection, and it is as though I never existed. But I did, a long, long time ago. I remember my long blond curls weaving down my back, my bright green eyes looking back at me. The white summer dress would sway in the breeze coming through the open window. But that’s over now. My blond curls, my green eyes, they’re gone. All that I once was is gone. I can still hear my mother’s cries at night when I roam the hallways of the old house. The soft carpet on the floor always felt so comfortable underneath my bare feet, like walking on clouds. But I don’t feel that anymore. The steps of the stairs would creak underneath each step you’d take, but my steps are soundless now.
Each night, as I hear my mother’s cries, I head up to her room and sit with her. Whenever I sit down, she speaks my name, asking me if I am here.
“Yes,” I answer her each time, but she doesn’t seem to hear me. I wa
We flyAnd now
we fly
back to that day
when everything was
okay
SacrificeI can see my bones
Sticking out from
Under my skin they
Cut through me like
A knife cuts through
Butter.
I like to sit in
Silence and admire
The moon and her
Stars
Looking down on
Me.
I run my hands over my
Hips and closely examine
My bones sticking
Out from under
My skin.
I have sacrificed
Many bites of food
To feed that
Monster in my
Head.
It tells me not
To eat and not to
Drink and to keep on
Counting.
And I want to
Fight it
Defy it
Get the monster
Out of my head but
I can’t.
But I can’t give
Up now not without
A fight
A battle
I need to keep
Going on even if not
For me.
I have to keep
Going on because I
Know you are
Too.
Write It To MeYou tried to capture the ocean with your mouth
And whispered to me late at night
About how the moon was up there hiding
Behind the clouds that told a
Story of your life
The breeze that tangles my hair turns
Into a deafening storm
That whispers poetry into my ears
When the starlit sky is a just a part of
The story of your life
Wait- don’t write it to me now
Wait until that bottle of whiskey
On your nightstand is almost
Empty of desire
And then-
Still don’t write it to me
Write it to me when the world
Has swallowed you whole six
Feet under where all you hear is
The rattling of skeletons beside
You.
Inner DemonsThree teaspoons full of sugar and a bottle of painkillers.
“Do you really think that’ll help?”
“It will. Just do it.”
A glass of water and a handful of pills.
“Are you sure it will be alright?”
“This’ll make you feel much better, trust me.”
The taste of chemicals on my tongue.
“But what if..”
“There is no ‘what if’.”
A big gulp of water and away they go.
“How long until I’ll feel better?”
“Not long now, just lay down… close your eyes…”
Darkness and bright coloured specks,
Then…
“You did good… Now rest.”
“No, wait. I don’t want this. Get me out of here!”
Panic. Fear. And I realise,
“I don’t want to go!”
“You’re too late now.”

My inner demon has won.






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Monique
Artist | Photography
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Deviousness Award

Deviousness Award
Yuukon is synonymous with community. If you spend any time on DeviantArt, its likely you have seen her name attached to features, Daily Deviation suggestions, groups, and a variety of community projects. Her enthusiasm is infectious and shes always ready to share her love for DeviantArt with anyone who will listen. Beyond this, her artwork is outstanding from her stunning photography that transports you to seemingly unreal places to her writing that invites you deep into her soul, its easy to see why shes beloved by so many! She is the founder of PhotographyGuide, which aims to help beginning photographers enhance their skills, and NaturesHaven, that features an abundance of incredible nature-themed artwork. She is constantly giving back and it is because of this that we are elated to present her with Deviousness for July 2018.
-awarded July 2018

Pride

DEVIANT AND PROUD

Made with pride by the DeviantArt community BROWSE ALL ART

Digital Art Spotlight Vol. 08

Journal Entry: Tue Sep 25, 2018, 5:00 AM


The Proud by Develv
Early Morning Walk by umbatman
The Watchtower by andreasrocha
Sylvanas Windrunner by JessiBeans
Mummy Girl with Wings, Gothic Fantasy Woman Art by shibashake
Black Magic Revealed by Sceith-A
Interstellar by ChristabelleLAmort
Tide by Noldofinve
Exo Sistema by IvanDuran9
Smilodon populator by FredtheDinosaurman
A Country in Ruin by kevron2001
Blurred Mountain Drop by ChaosFissure


Activity


A little while ago, I asked you in a poll if you'd be interested in seeing a selection of the photographs that never made it do DA. I am currently working on putting this selection together, hopefully I can share it with you somewhere this or next week! :la:

PS: If I haven't replied to your message/note yet it's because there is more in my inbox more than I can handle at the moment. I am not ignoring you, I'm just busy. Huggle 
I'm looking to commission an artist!
As many of you may know, I have written a book. I am currently working on editing said book, which means that it won't be long until it's ready for publication! There's still one thing missing from the equation, however: a book cover! Since I have some very specific wishes that I cannot grant myself, I am looking for an artist to commission. Are you interested in some work? Or do you know someone who might be interested? Shoot me a note with some of your work and your commission info! 

Edit: I have found an artist to work with! Many thanks to those who sent notes and comments! :love:
The Internet/television/phone satellite tower in my town has been hit by a pretty big thunderstorm, which means I am quite disconnected from the world, considering my mobile connection is quite spotty too. (rewritten this for the fourth time now...) The people from my service provider said it might take a few days to get it fixed depending on how bad it's been damaged :saddummy:

We'll talk soon! :heart:


This song just popped up in my random Spotify playlist, and now I can't stop listening to it. I've got tears streaming down my face, this song touches me more than ever today. I'll sing this to you, MagicalJoey. :heart:
LadyLincoln informed us of MagicalJoey's sudden passing. She's looking for friends and fans of Jo's to help her put together a tribute. Let's keep Jo's family and friends in our prayers, and remember her fondly. To help LadyLincoln, have a look at her poll here to see what she's looking for.

We'll miss you, Jo. :heart:

(Ex)-Seniors! I have a question for you! 

78%
52 deviants said I'm not a Senior so I can't see your forum thread :saddummy:
22%
15 deviants said Go here and answer it: forum.deviantart.com/senior/se… :eager:

Got Llama?




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:iconguilty-evans:
Guilty-Evans Featured By Owner 3 hours ago  Hobbyist
Oh, thank you for the Llama! <3 
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:iconcaddman:
caddman Featured By Owner 19 hours ago  Professional General Artist
thank you my friend
for the faves ...:) (Smile)

cheers and a nice day 2u

  Spectrum   Eat Music Juggling - Four Ball Fountain
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:iconneverxreset:
NeverxReset Featured By Owner 23 hours ago
Thanks for the llama. I LOVE your dA ✨
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:icondasgnomo:
DasGnomo Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Professional Digital Artist
Love your DeviantArt so much!!!!
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:iconyuukon:
Yuukon Featured By Owner 1 day ago   Photographer
Thank you!
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:icondasgnomo:
DasGnomo Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Professional Digital Artist
Thank you for the llama! :happy:
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:iconjohnengels:
johnengels Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for the Llama badge. Very kind!
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:iconyuukon:
Yuukon Featured By Owner 1 day ago   Photographer
You're welcome!
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:iconjohnengels:
johnengels Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Hobbyist Writer
😀👍
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:iconcorniger-aries:
corniger-aries Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you kindly for the :+fav: Monique! Wish you a great week! :hug:
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