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My best friend came up for a surprise visit on Wednesday, the day after my birthday.  Her boyfriend, who is like a brother to me, drove her.  We made a cake, watched a movie, and teased each other.  And then he dropped a bomb.

His little sister is fourteen.  And she's in the middle of the famous "I know best" stage.  We all know it.  I was lucky, the worst of mine involved watching TV when I was told to do homework and get a facebook account when I had been told not to.  My friends all went through that stage, with varying severity.  My friend's sister (I'm going to call her Belle) is in it pretty deep.

She goes to a pretty bad school, and was homeschool until two years ago.  The shock seems to have contributed to a lot of the drama.  Anyway, she got a jerk upper-classman boyfriend, unbenownst to her family, and slept with him.  They found out (not about the having-sex-part) and allowed them to date, with curfews and whatnot.  He started being over-controlling, checking her texts and demanding to know where she was going all the time.

One night, apparently they had a little too much to drink.  Date rape resulted.  I still can't believe it.  

I'm not sure why I'm sharing this.  Maybe so you girls will think careflly about boyfriends.  Maybe so you guys can help your close girl friends (not girlfriends, female friends.  You know what I mean).  Maybe so you parents can keep your kids out of there.

My aunt was addicted to practically every drug in the book by the end of her high school years.  Every day I think about Belle and worry that she's going to end up in the same mess that it took my aunt 20 years to dig herself out of.  She has a good life now, but she wasted so much of it before getting there.  I worry that my own kids will end up there.  

Belle broke up with him, and now he's threatening suicide. I don't think she'll go back to him, thinking she can help him, but I worry about the possibility all the time.  

I don't pretend to know what to do or say to prevent this from happening in your friend's life.  I just know that it happened in Belle's, and she could really use your prayers right now.
  • Drinking: chai tea
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:iconphictionmaker7:
Phictionmaker7 Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2011  Professional Writer
wow that was both moving and sad. Hopefully in time the world will be a better place, for everyone.
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:iconyellow-tulips:
yellow-tulips Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2011
agreed.
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:iconphictionmaker7:
Phictionmaker7 Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2011  Professional Writer
...
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:iconshadowsand:
shadowsand Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
I will pray for her.

I'm actually a rape survivor myself. I've been in counseling, which has helped greatly. I was about her age when I was first raped, so it hits close to home.

If she needs somewhere to go, she can make an account on aftersilence.org. It's helped me a lot. It's confidential, free and has many places to go and talk about what happened. That's one thing to look out for- she needs to talk about it, but PLEASE do not force anything out of her. (I say this in general, not just to you.)

And even though she's done stupid stuff, do not blame her in any way about what happened. She did not have it coming. Blaming her now will hurt her worse. Rape Trauma Syndrome may kick in- basically she may not want to talk about what has happened and continue life normally, but watch her around six months after. Like PTSD for soldiers, she may start to get worse. Depression, anxiety, aggression and flashbacks are common if this sets in. (It's happened to me, but not severely, and I've been raped twice.) Do not watch her and wait for stuff to go wrong- empower her and be there for her. Just know that around half a year to a year after her behavior will be normal if it does not seem right. She won't just 'get over this.'

I know this is not your situation, and am sorry if this seems preachy or the like, but please pass this along or at least keep these things in mind.

safe :hug:s for her.
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:iconyellow-tulips:
yellow-tulips Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2011
thank you for all your advice. i will pass along the message.
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June 25, 2011
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