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My running commentary on the CMA awards

I love country music so goddamn much.  

Blake Shelton is ridiculously hot.  Seriously, have you ever seen a pair of eyes like that?  I think not.  Yummy.  :iconhurrplz: Brad Paisley is smexy to.  And I'll try to keep the "he's hot" comments to a minimum.

Good God, what the HELL is Carrie Underwood wearing?????  It's like a badly folded napkin with scales. :iconwthplz:

AHAHA TIM AND FAITH BARBIES!!!!!!  That is GREAT.  Ah, country music stars always have such a great sense of humor.  Tim and Faith are cracking up at this.

Single of the year
My winner: "A Little Bit Stronger" by Sara Evans
Real winner: "If I Die Young" by The Band Perry

WARDROBE CHANGE (aka commercial)

Oh, Carrie, that dress is MUCH better.  

YAY KEITH!!! Performing in his standard T-shirt and jeans.  Exactly as he should be.  He is such a fantastic guitarist.  :iconilavplz:

And now, Sara Evans, with "A Little Bit Stronger."  And acrobats?  That's random.  I love this song.  Powerful, but not bitchy in the way that Taylor Swift's are.  

WARDROBE CHANGE

Aaaaand another weird dress from Carrie.

And "Baggage Claim" from Miranda Lambert.  Which, for some reason, I've never enjoyed much.  A creative idea, but I'm just not drawn to it.  Her shirt is so glittery that she could probably be seen from space.  And what's with the fringes?  My God, every singly one of these people seems to think that it's Back To The Sixties/Seventies Night.  Daw, Blake looks so proud of her :)

Song of The Year (award to songwriters)
My winner: "If I Die Young" written by Kimberly Perry
Real winner: "If I Die Young" written by Kimberly Perry

Zac Brown Band!!!  Kay, this song confuses me.  What's with the whole 20s (I think it's 20s) theme???  Not a fan.  Jazzy maybe?  Blues?  Either way, it's not at all Zac Brown Band's style.

WARDROBE CHANGE (and a commercial for breaking Dawn. ugh.)

Rascal Flatts :) Performing "Easy."  And a friend.  Who is wearing a dress that looks like a year's worth of dryer lint.

Vocal Duo Of the Year
My winner: Thompson Square, mostly because their song "Are You Gonna Kiss Me or Not" Inspired my Teddy/Victoire oneshot, "Finally, A ProperGoodbye."
Real winner: Sugarland

Brad, what's with the camo suit jacket?  I respect your redneckness, but EMBRACE IT.  Don't try to pretend you are otherwise.  :iconjefffoxworthyplz:

YEEESSSSSS ERIC CHURCH PERFORMING "PUT A DRINK IN MY HAND." :iconilavplz:  Sunglasses?  Ooookaaaayyy......

"Are You Gonna Kiss Me or Not"!!!!!  Hey, I wore a tutu like that for Halloween.  Actually, mine was shorter.  But my point stands.  Daw *smooch*

Chris Young performing "Voices."  A very good song.  

WARDROBE CHANGE *getting out of breath*  man, keeping up is hard.

Taylor Swift.  MUTING.  God, that woman is annoying.  And the set they have for her is weird.  It's a couch, with things like a lamp and a rug.  Supposed to look like a living room?  Ugh.  Kay.  I'm gonna keep my Taylorhate to a minimum.  :iconlll-plz:

You know, Carrie used to have such a good fashion sense.  What happened?

Luke Bryan!! Yay!! Haha, performing "Country Girl (Shake It For Me)."  best song EVER to roll the windows down while driving and BELT OUT.  Don't ever let other drivers judge you.  I could do without the sluttily dancing girls, but I guess a performance of this song would be incomplete without them.  At least they're not bad dancers. :iconilavplz:

WARDROBE CHANGE

BRAD YOURE SPARKLY--

MISS PIGGY!!!!!!!!!!!!!  She wants to sing "Remind Me" with Brad haha.  :iconlol-spartaplz:

Aww, Carrie's dress doesn't look like something aliens would make.  

Haha, Brad said the word "bacon" to Miss Piggy.  That was dumb.

Lady Antebellum  performing "We Owned The Night."  That girl has a thing for 20s-inspired fashion.  That's cool, she looks nice in them.

Album of the Year
My winner: Well, I don't really pay attention to albums since I buy singles off of iTunes....
Real winner:  "My Kinda Party" by Jason Aldean

Kenny Chesney performing "You and Tequila" with Grace Potter!  I love that song, I love him, lovelovelove.  He's won entertainer of the year FOUR TIMES.  That's insane, guys.  That is the highest award in country music.  He may actually be the next George Strait.  Actually, there are a few candidates for that spot, but her is certainly one.

WARDROBE CHANGE

Sigh, oh Carrie, I give up.  The dress isn't bad, but that vest is....well, i suppose you've done worse.

The Justin Beiber Joke wasn't very funny.  Sorry.

Not sure what/who this is.  Or why that blonde lady has a hairdo that should have been left in the 70s.

Dairus Rucker!! He does not get enough attention.  Still don't know what they're singing, but that's okay.

I feel like I should know Sir Mustachio.  Now he's singing with Rascal Flatts.  I should KNOW this song!  And his name!

Gary LeVox (lead vocalist for Rascal Flatts) needs to send his jacket back to the late 19th century militaries.  

WARDROBE CHANGE

If I Die Young!!!  Wait, that's not The Band Perry…ah, they are advertising for musical education in schools.  Cool.  Sigh, Brad's camo sports jacket is back.

NOW the Band Perry.  Playing "All Your Life."  OOOOOOHHH THAT RED DRESS IS PRETTY.  A lot of sparkles for my taste, but at least it's a normal shape and stuff.  And it really stands out against their tan/brown set.  Like BAM I'M THE LEAD VOCALIST.

LeAnn Rimes, why do you have a flouncy attached to your butt? :iconwthplz:

Vocal Group of the Year
My winner: Zac Brown Band
Real winner: Lady Antebellum

Sugarland and Matt Nathenson performing "Run."  Not their biggest fan by a long shot, but I don't mind most of their songs.  I really like this one a lot.  Actually, I love their Matt Nathenson songs.  Like "Come On Get Higher"?  Yeah, I ADORE that song.

…..what? "You and Tequila" won video of the year and we didn't get to see it presented?  Sad.  Ah well, that was my pick anyway.

WARDROBE CHANGE

Brad and Carrie performing "Remind Me"!  I really enjoy this song.  And her dress is very pretty!!  Except for the slit up the side.  Rather pointless in such a loose, flowy skirt.  Man, they are GOOD on stage.  What I wouldn't give to see one of them in concert……

New Artist of the Year
My winner: OMG I HAVE TO PICK BETWEEN The Band Perry, Luke Bryan, Eric Church, Thompson Square, and Chris Young????? Can't do it.
Real winner: The Band Perry (my God, they are winning EVERYTHING)

Who the hell are you?  You look like you're 14.  Scotty McCreery!!   Man, I do not pay enough attention to things.

WARDROBE CHANGE

Jason Aldean, performing "Tattoos on This Town."  A good concept for a song, but never one that has really made me excited for it to come on.  Not one that I'd call to request, or take the long way home to hear the whole thing.  Don't hate it, just don't care either way.

Daw, Reese Witherspoon is presenting Male Vocalist of the Year
I LOVE her dress.  But she needs to talk to her colorist.  Those roots are kinda obvious.
My winner: Again, I have to pick between ALL my favorite boys?  Seriously???? :iconhurrdurrplz:
Real winner: Blake Shelton

You know it just occurred to me, why is Reba nominated for NOTHING?????  She's like….Reba.  There's no adjective.  So I'm making her name into an adjective.

Martina McBride!!  "I'm Gonna Love You Through It."  She is so fantastic.  She has some of the saddest songs ever.  Seriously.  This one is so sweet.  And she has a GREAT fashion sense.  

WARDROBE CHANGE

Aw, a tribute to Glen Campbell from Vince Gill, Brad Paisley, and Keith Urban.  He won entertainer of the year in 1968 (I had to look that up).  Not sure what the song is called, but I like it.  Apparently, this week he announced that he has been diagnosed with Alzhimer's.

WARDROBE CHANGE

Hmm, I'm torn on Carrie's dress.  

Faith!  The Queen of Country.  And she's not wearing that white nightgown—I mean dress—that she had earlier.  I like this song.  "Come Home."  Why haven't I heard it before?  I don't think it has played on my radio station up here.

Female Vocalist of the Year
My winner: fjsdslfjljf eff I can't pick but not Taylor pleeeeaaaase……
Real Winner: Miranda Lambert

HAHAHA in her thank you speech, she said "Thanks to my hubby to, it's gonna be a good night tonight baby!"  And Blake's rubbing his hands together, looking mischievous.  God, I am so jealous of her right now.  Hey, that means that she and Blake won both Female and Male Vocalist of the Year!  Group "aw," ready…. "Awwww….."

WARDROBE CHANGE

Oh Carrie….. *shakes head* It's like a greecian dress gone wrong. :iconareyoukiddingplz:

Reba's dress, on the other hand, is STUNNING.  She does love her green dresses lol.  

Entertainer of the Year
My winner: Jason Aldean (I feel like he did the most in this year specifically to deserve this)
Real Winner: Taylor Swift (go fuck yourself you whiney bitch who sings pop, not country) :iconraegplz:

Sorry for all the Taylor hate, but she ANNOYS me.  For the record, she would NOT annoy me if she admitted that she was pop and stopped stealing country awards from artists who actually sang country, and got off my country radio stations.  Then I just wouldn't care.  But seriously, "Mean"?  "Why you gotta be so mean"?  Could you sound more 12 if you REALLY tried?  I doubt it.  

I hope that you were at least somewhat amused by my outfit judging and comments and opinions of who should win!  Goodnight!
  • Watching: CMAs!!!!
  • Eating: popcorn
  • Drinking: water
:iconstrawberrycrush557:
StrawberryCrush557 Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2011
I respect your opinions but really, nobody deserves that kind of bashing. (Yes, I love Taylor, no, I'm not a she-does-everything-perfect crazy weird fan).
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November 9, 2011
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