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literature

Joachim, delta revision

yatsu's avatar
By yatsu   |   Watch
1 3 400 (1 Today)
Published: May 11, 2009
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well, once again, it's not really fantasy, more like speculative/gothic, but if we leave my own genre fetishes out of it, we will find stories like this one on the fantasy shelves of any reputable bookstore in the country.

anyhow, this is the first piece of fiction i've submitted in so bleeding long and i see now that they've made the critique options a subscriber-only feature, so i guess i'll just say that i would indeed appreciate any feedback you are able to give me. i've been told that i need more world details, but i'm wondering exactly what sort of details you want. what are you wondering about this world? thanks~

ps: does contain some killing, and i think maybe a swear word. nothing graphic or terribly disturbing, maybe like PG tops, but the story's about an assassin, so there's definitely going to be some killing.

=== ok, the text is saving, but it's not showing up. hitting the "download" button produces text. why isn't it working!!! (T_T) ===
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Comments (3)
yoboseiyo's avatar
aside from some typos, i love it.
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yatsu's avatar
oh noes! i'll have to find the typos when i get home. typos = baaad.
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yoboseiyo's avatar
indeed. typos is very very bad.
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