Josie's Drawers for Rhodesia!

"A Crocodile on the Nile Cottons to Our Josie!"

(featuring the lovely and spirited Mrs. Josephine Morgan)

"Mrs. Morgan." Jervis, the head butler, called out with a tone that barely concealed his distaste. "Your breakfast is ready to be served."

Josephine sauntered out of her tent. The early morning light played with the strands of her dark brown hair that had escaped her tight bun, and her blue eyes squinted against the glare as she surveyed the camp with a haughty gaze. Her entourage of English servants, all in starched khaki and bow ties, busied themselves around her, setting up folding chairs and a small table draped in a pristine white cloth. The native guides, adorned in their traditional garb, watched her with a mix of awe and apprehension.

"Ah, Jeeves," she said, her voice dripping with condescension. "You're quite the early bird this morning."

Jervis stiffened at the misuse of his name, but he held his tongue. He knew better than to correct his mistress in front of the others. Instead, he offered a stiff nod and began to lay out the silver tray with her breakfast: eggs, toast, and a pot of steaming tea. The smell of the food made his stomach growl, but he remained stoic, focusing on his duties.

As Josephine took her seat, she couldn't help but notice the uneasy glances the native guides were casting towards the river. "What's got you all so jumpy?" she asked, her curiosity piqued.

One of the guides, a man named Kofi, stepped forward hesitantly. "Madam," he began, his eyes flicking towards Jervis for approval. "The Nile crocodiles, they are not to be trifled with. They are clever hunters, and when they have their eyes set on prey..." His voice trailed off, his gaze drifting back to the murky water.

Josie scoffed. "I've faced lions and tigers, Kofi. What's a simple crocodile to a lady like me?" She took a sip of her tea, the porcelain cup clinking against the saucer. "Besides, it's not like I'd go wading in the river for a swim."

The natives exchanged nervous glances, but none dared to voice their concerns further. Jervis, however, couldn't resist adding his own two cents. "Mrs. Morgan, it's not just the crocodiles that are clever. All creatures have a way of seeking out those who do them harm."

Josie's eyes narrowed at him. "What are you insinuating, Jeeves?"

He cleared his throat. "Merely pointing out that nature has a way of balancing things, madam. Perhaps it's best not to provoke the wildlife unnecessarily."

Her cheeks flushed with annoyance, Josephine set down her teacup. "I'll do as I please," she spat. "Now, if you're quite finished, I'd like to prepare for the hunt."

Jervis held her gaze for a brief moment, his own discomfort palpable. But he knew his place and nodded curtly before retreating to the shadows of the camp. He watched as his employer strutted away, the fabric of her maroon dress rustling with each step.

The hunt began with a flurry of excitement. The party set off in pursuit of a majestic antelope that had been spotted by the scouts. Josephine, armed with her gleaming rifle and dressed in the very same maroon dress she'd worn at breakfast, walked confidently at the front, her boots sinking slightly into the damp earth. But a crafty crocodile, ever watchful, waited patiently along the river's edge, his scaly body almost invisible amidst the reeds.

As the sun climbed higher in the sky, the air grew thick with the scent of sweat and anticipation. The antelope led them on a merry chase, but it was the crocodile that was truly orchestrating the dance. He knew that the closer they got to the water, the better his chances of turning the tables. His ancient eyes followed the sway of Josephine's skirts, practically the color of fresh blood to his predatory gaze.

Jervis walked a few paces behind, his eyes never leaving the river. He felt a sense of foreboding that grew with every step they took closer to the water's edge. The natives, too, were on high alert, their eyes darting from the antelope to the river, and back again. The crocodile remained hidden, but his presence was as palpable as the tension that coiled around the hunting party like a tightening noose.

The antelope, sensing danger, suddenly bolted towards the river. "Now's our chance!" Josephine exclaimed, raising her rifle. The guides' warnings fell on deaf ears as she took aim. But as she pulled the trigger, the ground beneath her gave way, sending her stumbling. The shot went wild, and the antelope vanished into the dense foliage.

Josie blundered down a steep outcropping of dirt, her Victorian finery just barely managing to avoid the jagged rocks jutting up through the riverbank as she tumbled to the river's edge. Regaining control of her body just a foot or so from the water, the socialite leapt to her feet angry and glared at her entourage as she smacked dusty beige soil from her dress. "You imbeciles!" she snapped. "Why didn't you warn me?"

Knowing full well that they had indeed instructed her to be careful, Jervis and the natives merely kept silent and shrugged. Josie stormed back to higher ground in a huff...and the crocodile, having just reached the water's edge, every part of him but his narrow eyes discreetly submerged, snarled in frustration at his failure to get his jaws on his coveted sartorial meal. But it didn't look as if Mrs. Morgan and her party were going anywhere else soon, so he elected to stay where he was and patiently wait.

Josie was now atop the dusty bluff once more, minding where to place her feet this time. She was delighted when she spotted the antelope again, but then dismayed when her quarry galloped away again. Determined not to let the dumb beast evade her again, Morgan ran along the edge of the bluff to keep pace with the animal...failing to notice that the ground sloped down to the water's level along the path she was running, as well as veering closer to the water itself.

But the crocodile certainly took note!

Having reached the bottom of the slope, Josie raised her rifle and shot at the antelope once more, but once again she missed her mark. She was still cursing her continuing bad luck when...

She saw him. The ravenous Nile crocodile was little more than a yard to her left. His tongue massaged the knifelike fangs of his long jaws hungrily, and his predatory smile was as chilling as a death's-head grin! He lunged for his fetchingly attired prey!

Josie emitted a hysterical, ultra-feminine scream one never would have expected to issue from the lips of a hunter as supposedly courageous as herself. She frantically pointed the barrel of her gun straight between the monstrous creature's eyes, only to have her only means of defense snapped down upon by the crocodile's lethal mouth! The croc wrenched the weapon from Josie's grasp and unceremoniously tossed it into the river and far out of reach.

"Noooo!" Josie wailed. Determined to get out of snapping distance as quickly as possible, she hustled back up the slope, losing her fashionable Sunday hat in her haste. She managed to escape danger just before her scaly assailant could clamp down on the hem of her demure maroon skirt. The crocodile moved with astounding speed along the dusty, rocky bank just below her, effortlessly keeping pace. Once he had gotten close enough to leap straight up, he did so - and he got a mouthful of one of Josie;s white high-buttoned shoes! Morgan screamed again as the croc twisted his jaws so that she lost her balance and tumbled to the bank once more!

Once Josie had stopped rolling, losing both items of her prized footwear in the process, she shot a glance behind her and noted with horror that her enemy's toothy mouth was just barely beyond striking distance! There was no time to get to her feet. Desperate to survive, she scrabbled forward over the rocks, crying out in discomfort several times. The crocodile allowed the pathetic damsel a futile head start, savoring her loss of decorum a moment or two longer.

Then he lunged forward in all his savage wrath!

With a single snap of his jaws, the crocodile transformed the pompous Josephine Morgan into a shameless tart by tearing the unfortunate lady's maroon frock clean off her body! Josie was appalled to behold herself clad in nothing but dainty white gloves and a pair of tastefully frilled, knee-length white underpants that left all but the tiniest sliver of her belly button on display! Worse yet, Josie, who was rightfully proud of her athletic outdoorswoman nature, was in excellent physical shape and always took advantage of her luxury of not needing to wear a corset; her perfectly rounded breasts were brazenly bared to the elements! The scandalized girl fluted her lips in an expression of coy chagrin, her eyes seemingly as wide as her sensuously curved, culotte-adorned hips.

The crocodile swallowed all of Josie's dress - and thus almost all of her dignity - in one hearty gulp. Then, before his prey could even attempt to escape, he snapped down again, snagging the seat of Josie's frilly white drawers and "debriefing" her with a casual but powerful tug. Josie's underpants were now gathered just below her knees, and her embarrassingly untanned Anglo-Celtic bottom was no longer a "Victorian secret!" As the young woman gasped in chagrin, the croc peeled a not-unsubstantial strip of cotton from the seat of the drawers and rolled his tongue around it, savoring its smooth texture and (courtesy of Josie's fearful perspiration) "womanly" flavor of salt and pheromones!

While the beast pursued his task of food critic, Morgan found the courage to rise to a standing position, pulling her britches up to get back under wraps her dusky, well-fuzzed, and enviable pubic patch; she was discouraged, however, that a hole gaping enough to display both her ass-cheeks now defaced the seat of her tasty undergarment!

The crocodile snapped again, but the now barely undies-covered Josie reflexively dodged by leaping straight up, doing so clumsily enough that she landed directly atop the reptile's head! Temporarily confused, the croc jerked his head to the side to try to establish Josie's position, turning his dinner a full 180 degrees so that her damaged bloomers and rear nudity were once again visible to anyone facing her tormentor's front! "JEEEEEEVES! JEEEEEEVES!" the not-so-imperious lady kept screaming, increasing the volume each time so that Jervis and the rest of her semicompetent servants could appreciate just how much danger she now was forced to confront.

Jervis, who had been watching the whole tragicomedy unfold from the safety of the camp with a mix of horror and something suspiciously like schadenfreude, realized that his employer was now in very real peril. He dashed over to her, his bow tie flapping wildly in the dusty wind. The crocodile, irritated by the sudden weight on its head, threw its powerful tail to the side, sending a spray of water and mud across the riverbank. The force of the tail's movement dislodged Mrs, Morgan, sending her flying through the air like a ragdoll.

Her screams grew more frantic as she plummeted towards the water, but Jervis, driven by a mix of duty and the hope that this might finally teach her a lesson, sprinted after her. He leaped with surprising agility for a man of his stature, and managed to grab onto her ankle just before she could hit the water. For a moment, they both hovered over the crocodile-infested river, the reptilian creature eyeing them with a mix of surprise and hunger.

The native guides, having observed the commotion, rushed to their aid, throwing ropes and sticks into the fray. Jervis tightened his grip on Josie's leg, his face a mask of determination as he hauled her back to safety. The crocodile, feeling the vibrations of the approaching help, took one final look at the delicious meal that had slipped through his teeth before slithering back into the murky depths of the Nile, the water's surface barely rippling as he departed.

Josie clung gratefully to the shoulders of her dapper savior, completely forgetting - at least for a moment - how much she despised him. She thanked him profusely...but then she realized, with a cry of alarm, that her ordeal was still not over. "Ohhh, good heavens!" she wailed in self-pity. "My dress! My underwear! My exposure!" Jervis, determined to calm his mistress, chivalrously cupped his hands over her naked bum-cheeks -

- which provoked a sudden blaze of temper from the once-more defiant Josie, causing her to smack her butler's face with all the force a decently muscled sportswoman could muster!

As Jervis reeled from the snap, Josie stomped furiously all the way to the water's edge, staring after the spot where she'd last seen the crocodile with venomous hatred...and, fortuitously, happening to catch sight of her long-forgotten rifle, which had miraculously washed up on shore! With a vicious grin, Morgan snatched up her weapon and shouted loudly enough to be heard far down the river.

"Come back here, you hellish fiend!" the nearly nude woman roared. "Come back here to defile and devour the remainder of my dainties! I defy you to try! Do you hear me, coward? Get back here!"

Josie was smugly pleased to note an approaching eddy in the stream bed, followed soon enough by the sight of two frog like eyes popping above the water's surface. Josie waited, clutching her rifle tightly, as the grinning, grayish-green demon swam closer and closer to her position.

Finally the moment arrived. Just before the crocodile reached the bank, Josie leveled her firearm at his grimacing head! "This is the end for you, blasted devil!" she sneered. "Here is your punishment!" A bullet pierced the reptile's brow with grotesque impact. Josie had the deadliest aim that anyone she'd ever encountered had seen, and the hated animal succumbed to mortality immediately.

Josephine Morgan laughed in triumph. She had failed to bag the antelope, but had succeeded in conquering a much more formidable foe! "You're dead, you bloody bastard!" she taunted the corpse. "You're dead!" She allowed herself another wicked chuckle. "And now do you know what I'm going to do with you? I'll have crocodile shoes and a crocodile satchel made!" Josie thought of another possible way to dishonor the creature's death, but then reflected that crocodile-skin lingerie would be most impractical and uncomfortable. Mrs. Morgan's pretty pantalettes, as compromised as they might be at present, would have to suffice for the time being.