A wise goth once said that happiness - when you're depressed - is like a dog chasing a car. You are the dog and the car is happiness. You chase and chase this car for ever, but you have no idea what to do with it once you have it. It stops for you to catch up every once in a while but its not long before it takes off again. You only ever have it for a moment.
Happiness is not something you just obtain and have forever. Happiness is a state of being that can come and go. It's comprised of, not one big thing, but many little things. Happiness, when you're depressed, is a constantly fleeting emotion that always manages to escape you. Happiness comes from the inside out, not the outside in.
Happiness comes from you, literally. It's a chemical reaction inside your brain.
No amount of expensive things or pretty lovers or happy friends ever seems to make me happy, because at the end of the day I am always reminded that I am me. I don't often like myself. I'm constantly reminded that I am this horrible, ugly, disgusting person that I don't want to be.You only get one body
; one face; one skeleton; one skin. You have to learn to love it, because its the only one you have.
If you don't, you quickly find yourself in a whirlwind of self hatred and discontent. Learning to love yourself - when you initially hate yourself - is the hardest thing you can possibly do, but its worth it.
Without a doubt, it is the hardest climb.
Fall in love with yourself as if you were an entirely different person. What does the best (not perfect) version of you look like? What do they sound like? What do they wear? What do they buy? What do they talk about? Would you love them for all of their bad parts as well as their good parts? Would you take care of them? If they had a self harming problem, what would you say to them?My goal for 2019 is to fall in love with me again.
In order to do that, I have to begin seeing myself as the person I am inside - not the person everyone perceives me to be. While we're all concerned with our value in other peoples' lives, what others think and feel about us is none of our business and it serves no true value.
It doesn't matter. What does matter is what we think of ourselves. We are who we decide we are, not what others tell us we are.My best version of me is beautiful - on the inside and on the outside.
She is a crybaby and she knows it. Crying is natural, after all.
She wears all kinds of gothy, dark stuff. She wears whatever the hell she feels like wearing because she likes the way it makes her feel.
She listens to all kinds of music, most of it being alternative progressive rock.
She loves her friends.
She is protective, creative, and artistic.
chubby with a lil squishy tummy and big, thick, strong thighs and she loves every inch of herself. She is safe and comfortable in her own body.
She takes care of her sensitive, pale, freckled skin.
She eats when she is hungry - not because she is bored.
She is her own best friend.
She loves nature and animals.
She takes good care of all living things.
She likes to spend time with nature and takes lots of refreshing walks.
She loves the rain.
And rabbits. Can't forget rabbits.
That is the version of me that I could fall in love with. I want to spend time with this me and get to know her better. She won't let past self hatred or past lovers or past events define her any more.
She doesn't need to be anyone she doesn't want to be. She loves to take care of others, but she has to take care of herself first.
2019 will be my year to let better me come forth. Better me is sick and tired of sitting in the time-out corner all because the evil voice told her to. Better me has a brand new pair of combat boots coming in the mail ripe for kicking negativity's ass.