I want relaxing joys...
Joys that arent achieved over tremendous preasure.
I want those that come in peace,
In kindness freely given,
I want joy that does not demand a price or sacrifice...
DAILY SUBCONSCIENCE IN EXILECan't confuse memory to exist in the present.
Can't confuse spiritual action to be memories.
I am two things joggled by a clown in coma
I live in spite of unseen casualties in both -
The regularly beaten, unbeating heart;
The indefinitely unfavored flavored soul...
Can't confuse choice with what's looked at for it,
Truth. Must distinguish aftermath from effects of choice.
I am one thing to a man, a jerk, and the moon,
And love in spite that one thing which is Nothing.
Nothing but every thing I've been considered to be not;
Nothing but a thing, considered merely, inconsiderately.
Must not be blind to distinctions.
Must be distinct from the blind.
So I worry not.
On What Expense?On what expense does a man bare his soul
to a woman he does not intend to keep?
And on what expense does a man keep
a woman he does not intend to bare his soul with?
What does a man tell himself when he realizes on what expense?
And what does a man do to not realize on what expense?
On what expense does a man love
And on what expense does he not?
The Message of the Sky
Bum with me
Above the clouds
You need no other high but I...
Sun can't burn
Out solemn flesh
Your doubts are meaningless.
Know how to fly
This is the message of the Sky...
Xyldrae Diane Espineda Jacob
I live in many different worlds.
I find and make beauty in everything
and anything. I'm
a constant parallactic paradox, sublime,
with a restless soul that exudes melancholy,
a Black Heart drowning in euphoria,
and a great mind scarce in madness
livened by all forms of rarity
living for the One Who made me.
Copyright © Xyldrae Diane E. Jacob
Cherub. Rebel. Minstrel.
He communicates literally in such a steady tone
But his depth is in his words
And applying a note unto it would magnify his soul.
He is gentleness gone awry;
And a manic in silence and control;
He strolls his way quietly into screaming serenity
As a forlorn wagged stray in social fury.
Blasphemy Through SilenceEnnui is offspring to a fool and his continuity
They make such a horrid family
Casualty to awareness
Blasphemy through silence.
DECONSTRUCTION OF CINDERELLA
Everybody knows her story... branded Cinderella:
She was born. She lost her mother.
Some witch took over. She lost her father.
Her properties coveted by step-women.
One day with the help of pests for friends,
And her bored fairy godmother,
She catches the lead clown in a social circus most grand
Leaves one of her shoe pair upon unethical eluding
Per chance to be found.
And she was.
Clown boy puts her back in her original place
And they flatter happily ever after.
Here are the non-moral lessons:
Cinderella is a loser.
This has nothing to do with parental loss.
She simply lost her sense of self
When she chose to be coveted
She had no role in the story
Aside from being the conflict for the doers of deeds.
Pests got to be friends.
Fairy godmother existed purposely and looked good.
Clown boy is tagged heroic
And step-women were made necessary for all.
Okay. Okay. MORAL LESSON:
To be not mundane, know yourself and be.
Clandestine PursuitClandestine pursuit
What of? What of?
Does he know? Does he know?
The cruelty of him besieging her
Who chills in her grave
And here comes, here comes,
An hourly victor over cynicism
Mimicking what stalks
Himself to stalk
What of? What of?
Was she better off?
MusicWhat is music?
Music is my driving force
The one thing that has kept me going for so long
Aside from my few friends
But before I knew them
I would lose myself in my music
What is music?
Music is the truth
Even if it sounds incoherent
It is the means by which my spirit communicates
Even though no one else can understand me
Because I say what is real
What is music?
Music is a release
It is the way I escape my problems
A temporary reprieve from the troubles of the day
I lose myself in another world
Created by the sounds
What is music?
Music is everything
It is true, false, right, wrong
It is the cage that holds me outside
Of a world ruled by those who can't know me
It is my one true freedom
Whispers in the WindLife goes on midst whispers in the wind
Of where I'm going to and where I've been
All secrets stored in the memories made
The hello's said and goodbye's bade
Of friends once found and then to lose
In choices found and then to choose
Seldom seen of what is crystal clear
To haunt us yet within our fear
Of loneliness and the loveless still
To mask our pain against our will
A scent of purpose instils us yet
with courage and hope to see us let
us open our hearts to what is good
Our souls as spiritual as they should
Place us where we are meant to be
Amongst the glades of serenity
Each day a trial and triumph will
Beget of those with greed to fill
Feed solace to those who need it most
To silence the lips of those who boast
Beguile me not with words of candour
To leave me yet as our lives meander
Like streams that flow so endlessly
So life is destined for you and me
A Great Artist...A Great Artist
A Great Artist is not someone who gets the Attention
It is not about the Shock and Awe
What really does it mean to be a great artist?
The Answer is within Every Person's Creations
Putting the most Effort into every piece of art
The Determination to never give up
To be Honest and Hard Working
Practice to amplify ones Ability
A great artists is more then Pencil and Paper
It takes Heart, Determination, and Pride
To put a whole being into the art
To work beyond the limits of what they were told
Taking time to give friendly Critique
Learning how to Improve Ones Skill
To be a part of the Community
To Be There when No One Else will
To help the Great Artists
There is a Community for them
The Community Offers to the unseen
That Community is UnseenArtists.
To Dream.Your dream is placed within your heart
To grow with you and never part
Until the day that you will see
Where all your dreams became reality..
A Lover's Touch.......A scent, a smell, perfumes so sweet
A touch, a taste, when lips will meet
A sound, a song, a tune to sing
Such beauty will our senses bring
The mind accepts where the heart will lead
And follows once we plant the seed
Of love and trust and patience made
To build upon the plans being laid
An innocence nurtured so fresh and new
As pure and eager as morning dew
To greet with joy the rising sun
The birth of life has just begun
A word, a smile, a sound we make
The touch of souls of which we take
A moment in time for memories seen
Of who we are to where we've been
In life and love we'll journey much
To learn the essence of truth and touch
To bring together what we thought could not
be the binding of the who and what
Join two and one with hands we hold
To give us warmth where once was cold
Of hope and hapstance and needs to free
the chains of loneliness no longer be
Tis simple if we allow it so
The beauty of life for all to know
To open up and
Once again all alone
I suppose I must deserve it
I'm clingy and annoying
Obnoxious and dense
Rash and silly
Lazy and obsessive
Sometimes I hate myself
I want to draw people in
But only push them away
I cry so much lately
Because everything hurts
Maybe I'm not meant to be happy
I force my smile
I fake my laugh
Does anyone notice?
Does anyone care?
It's not "Like Me" to be so
Depressed? Upset? Angry?
What is 'like me'?
Someone tell me
Because I don't know myself anymore
Once again, as before
I'm all alone
Taken.Shes dead in my arms crushed by the weight of 4 tons of metal on wheels.
I look up at the sky to you,
What did she do to you?
She didnt deserve this,
I dont deserve this,
Did I not pray?
Did I not read your scriptures and follow your every decree with out questioning your existence?
I woke up at crack of dawn to kneel in your favor.
I threw myself on the mercy of your forgiveness for every sin I committed.
I feared the very hell fire you would dame me to.
I did not lead astray from your path.
I went to your temple to pay my dues in your name.
I fought blasphemers who ridiculed you.
Yelled at those who used your name in vain.
Turned my back on those who did not believe in you.
So this my salvation.
For the many hard years of standing by your ideologies.
Believing in the testaments of your way of life.
I loved her, so answer me this.
Why did you take her from me?
And Sissy cleans.
And soon as shes done,
It starts all over again,
Guns are shot,
And you bleed,
You cant trust anyone it seems.
Youll go to the hospital,
Theyll mend your heart,
But when you come home,
It will fall apart.
You never even have time to go to the bathroom,
Or enjoy the life youve been given,
Because as soon as you walk through the door,
The torture starts,
And youre falling apart.
Someday it will end,
Your broken heart shall be mend,
Theyll pay for the pain caused,
And you will not be abused anymore.
Mixed MessagesIt scares me to think that just in a blink
Our life, as it is, could be gone
As strong is my heart, it could still fall apart
And here I could stand all alone
The sky although blue, has a darkening hue
And will rain with so many tears
The smile on my face, leaves a sneer in its place
Still hiding my stifling fears
Flowers will not bloom, in a closeted room
For the light is needed to grow
Though memories so dark and feelings are stark
On the winds of change, they do blow
You see I do feel, what once was so real
But is gone, as the days do end
Love me please as I sing, like a bird on a wing
With mixed messages we do send
A soft lullaby's song, that's never too long
Drift on clouds of the whitest stuff
Please don't leave me here, to far to be near
For today is just never enough
Give me a reason, to enjoy every season
For this life, we are meant to live
To share what is pain, and s