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i'm too afraid to lay down on the ground here
because the last time i did that,
hands sprouted from the roots of the old oak out back and
tried to drag me down into the
tunnels of an ant mound
and i don't think i could live through that again.

once i jumped so high on the trampoline i felt
gravity escaping me and
every fiber of my being dropped pounds and
i became almost weightless and i think
that's what made me addicted to the idea of
floating on air

the vacuum sucked the oxygen
from my lungs and
i'm still out of breath,
all my fingers are numb and the
stars are still playing beats on my ribs like
xylophones because
they were fascinated with bleached-white bones and
flesh and
blood cells burrowed in the center of my bones,
exposed with just enough pressure from their stardust-padded
mallets (they liked b o n e  m a r r o w, i guess i was playing with the
stars / hearts of
sirius
that dog)

they read my fate and path like
tarot cards except
something in their glimmer made me certain that
they were more accurate than any
crystal ball could've
ever been, and i've been thinking now that
those hands uprooting tree limbs were
demon hands and
it's funny how long i spent in the sky without
seeing heaven but
in the split-second that the soil was filling
my lungs (i'm terrified to be buried alive but i would've
rather been in a coffin, i'd take the claustrophobia any day)
i saw hell.

(it's not a fire-pit or isolation or
eternal damnation,
it's the eyes in the mirror staring back at you when
you realize just how bad you got and
you're scaring yourself
//because you're asking for it again even though you hated it)
NaPoWriMo day 24

because nothing is ever how it seems
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:iconnick121235:
nick121235 Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
I think you're becoming one of my favourite poets on deviantart haha
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:iconxfuture-boundx:
xfuture-boundx Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2017   Writer
wow that means so much to me, thank you!!
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:iconpatchworklynx:
PatchworkLynx Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2017   Writer
this is incredible i'm speechless omg
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:iconxfuture-boundx:
xfuture-boundx Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2017   Writer
omg wow thank you so much <3
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:iconabsolthezhang:
Absolthezhang Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I loved all the stereotypes you pulled forth from real life. I really like your explanation of "hell" because i can relate to what youve said and that exact realization cane upon me when i was like 10 years old.
Its only been four years, but time only lets your demons grow.
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:iconxfuture-boundx:
xfuture-boundx Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2017   Writer
thank you
I think we can grow with time too and if we do it right we'll grow more than our demons and one day we can beat them
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:iconabsolthezhang:
Absolthezhang Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
That was beautiful.

Maybe...
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:iconxfuture-boundx:
xfuture-boundx Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2017   Writer
<3
there's always hope
Reply
:icona-nothing-girl:
a-nothing-girl Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
I'll never be able to stop reading your poems. They're so beautiful and emotional. Heart 
Reply
:iconxfuture-boundx:
xfuture-boundx Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2017   Writer
:heart: thank you
Reply
:icona-nothing-girl:
a-nothing-girl Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome.
Reply
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April 24, 2017
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