XERW's avatar

XERW

Advocate of the 3rd option
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80.5K
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158 Deviations
Artist // Hobbyist // Digital Art
  • Oct 20
  • Indonesia
  • Deviant for 10 years
  • They / Them
Badges
Ninja Llama: Llamas are awesome! (509)
Whiskers: Submitted to the April Fools' Day category
BlackBerry: Exclusive Calendar of Tales Badge
Double Delicious Cake: But only half the calories! (2)Double Delicious Cake: But only half the calories! (2)Double Delicious Cake: But only half the calories! (2)Double Delicious Cake: But only half the calories! (2)Double Delicious Cake: But only half the calories! (2)
Birthday '15: Celebrated DeviantArt's 15th birthday
birthdAy '13: Celebrated lucky birthday #13

Favourite Visual Artist
Tony Taka, Kantoku, Kizuki Aruchu
Favourite Movies
Mobile Suit Gundam Unicorn
Favourite TV Shows
Kimi ni Todoke
Favourite Bands / Musical Artists
CLaRiS
Favourite Books
Harry Potter series, Sherlock Holmes series
Favourite Writers
J.K. Rowling, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
Favourite Games
Call of Duty series, Battlefield series, Illusion Games, Custom Maid 3D, all kinds of VN
Favourite Gaming Platform
PC, PS3, Nintendo DS
Tools of the Trade
Wacom CTL-480K, 2B Mechanical pencil, an eraser, and Willpower
Other Interests
Molesting my little sister :-D

Statistics

Page Views80.5K
Deviations158
Watchers2K
Watching313
Favourites2.8K
Comments Made3.5K
Comments Received685

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Group Admin

5 Groups

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82 Groups

Badges

515 Badges
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Comments

commented on R: Corsetta by
So you've thought about that too XD had nothing left to point out then~ I'll be watching you now :meow: for moar good stuff like this :D

See you later! :meow:
R: Corsetta
commented on R: Corsetta by
I should to some more research before writing it :(

But seriously - bubblegum girl(s) sounds nice :D maybe I should to it too.

Also related (if ye don't mind) : the hair was too well-defined, try larger strands (since bubble gum, being gum...y'know)
R: Corsetta
commented on R: Corsetta by
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Overall
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Vision
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Originality
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Technique
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Impact

Responding on a critique request~

VISION
It's quite a generic pose, with a twist being the character portrayed is a humanoid slime.

ORIGINALITY
It's another person's OC so I'm afraid I can't give any more points than this. In the plus side, it's quite unusual to see humanoid slime (unless you search for it hard enough) so bonus points in that regards, since it's a (comparatively) rare character type.

TECHNIQUE
I have few to no qualms regarding the shading technique, but I suggest adding more highlight to denote her slimy, semi-liquid surface (and probably some transparency wouldn't hurt much).

Regarding the line art (respective to the character type) I found that the body isn't "slimy" enough. She had too many well-defined humanoid features, with only some stretched globs between her arm and breasts. It probably be better if you add it into other areas such as part of her cleavage, near the face and neck, and round the fingers more.

IMPACT
Well it certainly turn some eye around me when I opened this on my tab (for the better or worse)

Hopefully you'll find this critique helpful <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b…" width="15" height="15" alt=":D" data-embed-type="emoticon" data-embed-id="366" title=":D (Big Grin)"/>
R: Corsetta
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Overall
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Vision
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Originality
:star::star::star::star-empty::star-empty: Technique
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Impact

XERW here, giving some critique to show on the design aspect of this gun.

Vision: 3.5/5 - this rifle is quite visionary by its own but still lacks something I couldn't put my fingers on. I'll base the score by the design of the rifle.

I'll start from the obvious point which was detracting this score by pointing out the lack of any hard point like a railing to mount a bipod quickly.

I also criticize the minimal amount of length on the top rail as it may reduce some attachment options essential for a mission.

There are also a lack of afterthought on the grip - the size was right but the space for 4th and 5th finger are too small - it could hamper comfort which is essential for a sniping mission which involves waiting while armed for quite a long time.

This is only a personal opinion but the inclusion of automatic firing mode is quite off - since you couldn't possibly retain sustained firing for long with a 8x+ zoom scope - burst is better suited for a sniper/marksman rifle.

Originality : 4.5/5 - definitely original - there are some influences from FAMAS or AUG but it was negligible - an original design for sure.

Technique : 3/5 - the camo pattern shouldn't be distributed with only cutting a pattern on top of the rifle - it should got some offsets on different parts of the rifle to make it more realistic. The font size on fire selector should be reduced and it needs to have shadows and highlights to better depict a realistic firearm.

Impact : 4/5 Should be noted - this design could possibly hit off with future firearms deisgn - it may be not but it still hits home for me.

Hope it helps you on creating more original rifle design.
Fictional Firearm: HC-SR24E Sniper Rifle [Draken]