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About Digital Art / Student Kirsti HoganNew Zealand Groups :icondrapacas: Drapacas
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Deviant for 13 Years
Needs Core Membership
Statistics 208 Deviations 7,849 Comments 145,468 Pageviews

Newest Deviations

Fire Witch by xephia Fire Witch :iconxephia:xephia 165 2 VLD: Keith gets a text by xephia VLD: Keith gets a text :iconxephia:xephia 172 4 Relax by xephia Relax :iconxephia:xephia 102 0 #mermay by xephia #mermay :iconxephia:xephia 98 3 Super Sailor Moon by xephia Super Sailor Moon :iconxephia:xephia 159 3 Headless Girl by xephia Headless Girl :iconxephia:xephia 94 0 SE18: Kunyue by xephia SE18: Kunyue :iconxephia:xephia 50 0 Celestial Mage by xephia Celestial Mage :iconxephia:xephia 99 0 Hello by xephia Hello :iconxephia:xephia 144 5 Festival by xephia Festival :iconxephia:xephia 201 8 BNHA icons~ by xephia BNHA icons~ :iconxephia:xephia 494 9 Space Unicorn by xephia Space Unicorn :iconxephia:xephia 101 8 Student Life by xephia Student Life :iconxephia:xephia 367 5 Kiki Delivers Calcifer by xephia Kiki Delivers Calcifer :iconxephia:xephia 356 8 A Backpacker by xephia A Backpacker :iconxephia:xephia 203 6 Blakrye by xephia Blakrye :iconxephia:xephia 80 2
I can't believe I've been on deviantart for 11 years! The first few years on this account were all (awful) poetry and short stories, and journal entries of me freaking out over the dodgy age gaps in Shugo Chara and whether it's ethically okay to ship them (10 years later, still torn on this one). My time here was mostly fangirling, dreaming and admiring, world building and friend-making.

Since I've been here, I've had a Daily Deviation and reached well over 100,000 pageviews (things I aspired towards on day one but never expected to achieve). I remember looking at artists I admired and seeing they had 100 favs, and thinking, those people have made it. That's the dream. 

But I think it took me leaving deviantart to really improve. I know I partially left for school, and this had a big impact on my work (I sort of stopped drawing altogether at first). But when I finished my degree, I never really came back. I popped in, I caught up with people, I took the occasional request or commission. I got involved in the adoptables community, on and off. I tried really hard to find the passion for deviantart I used to have.

When I left deviantart, because of school, stress, and my health, I started to focus more on the real world. Drawing with friends in cafes forced me to draw unfamiliar subjects. Drawing for markets and conventions, instead of online, forced me to consider new things about colour theory and style, and look at my work objectively and judge it for professionalism. I had to consider what will get me a job, instead of what will give me more pageviews and help me make online friends. 

And I think it's only recently I started drawing for myself. I don't feel that same frustration I used to - that fear of not being good enough or not improving fast enough, of not being able to sell something unless it's fanart or anime. I don't judge myself against other artists' success any more. I get such a kick out of own personal growth now. I'm excited about my work, not frustrated by it. 

I'll never be as active on DA as I used to - I currently have 2122 comments and 71 unread notes that have built up over the years and I haven't had time to reply to. I'm not sure I ever will. I've been so inactive recently I don't expect any replies to this journal. I don't think I'll ever have time again to build communities and friend groups here. Part of me is sad about it, and part of me is happy. It means I have other things in my life now to keep me passionate, strong and fulfilled.

You've been a bit like a parent to me. You're not perfect, and sometimes you've been downright mean, but you've helped me to grow and watched over me while I made my own choices - the good and the bad. You've encouraged me and corrected me, forgiven me when I've made mistakes, and have always been somewhere I could come back to. 

Anyway, TL;DR! I really appreciate everything deviantart has been and done for me. I'll still be around a little, every few months. I'll still come back to post art and commissions and to admire amazing work here. But for the most part, I'm moving out~



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4sparkles Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2019  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Hello, I see you've left DeviantArt, but are sort of replying to some things? I love your art sm! I'm now following you on instagram!! And I'm not saying that to get you to say yes to what I'm about to ask, lol.

in a (very) old journal, you had two foxponds up for trade/sale (1) (2) and I was wondering if there's anything (art, characters) I could offer for them? I don't have money to spend, so if there's anything else that could interest you, let me know!
extrasmile Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2018
do you have an instagram or twitter you post regularly to? i love you art, hope things are going well for you!!
xephia Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2018  Student Digital Artist
aw tysm <3 I'm most active on twitter but I post of m art on insta too~
jamesgunner123 Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2018
...the happiest of birthdays to you...=3
xephia Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2018  Student Digital Artist
Belated thank you <3
whitefoxdesigns Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2018  Professional Interface Designer
Happy Birthday! cat face 
krow000666 Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
happy birthday!
emperpep Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2018
Yoclesh Featured By Owner Edited Jun 6, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Happy birthday dear ! <33
Keep up your aesthetic work ! * w* ♥
MusewithBinth Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2017  Student General Artist
I saw you at Armageddon
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