Xenotopos's avatar
Why not what if?
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Artist // Hobbyist // Varied
  • July 12
  • Sweden
  • Deviant for 7 years
  • He / Him
Badges
Super Albino: Llamas are awesome! (105)
My Bio

First of all, I don't exactly get the llama badges thing yet so I work on a system of equivalent exchange, a llama for a llama, If I get one I'll give one back.

Thanks for the llama, llama right back at ya.

I'll figure it out eventually, maybe I'm just old.

EDIT: Ok so I guess I think I get it. It's like a small encouragement thing, "here's a llama for doin yo thang, keep it up" as a general broad all-encompassing thing about the body of work and not just a single work (much like actual llamas are broad and all-encompassing things, or something. I guess. Maybe?) Which I could have use for utilizing as I'm not someone who is very social and don't reach out to people, like ever. If I am contacted or approached I will engage in the interaction as long as I don't feel like it's forced on me and pertains a subject I have no interest in what so ever (then I'll go somewhat quiet without trying to be rude and hope it ends. Unless the person is being a total dick and then I'll let them know I opt out of the conversation. ) Being held hostage in a conversation by someone who has no interest in your side and just wants to force their world view on you sucks balls. I do not want to do that to anyone so it's rare for me to ever contact someone as I don't know if they have any interest in having that interaction with me. I might now give you a llama though. :P (The emojis here are terrible, how do I turn them off?) Excerpt from Nicklas contemplates life and llamas.

EDITIER: Ok, so I looked at the forums and saw some posts about llama badges, there does not seem to be a common consensus on what they are for or mean really. People are giving them for different reasons and I have received ones that seem to have nothing to do with my theory of their use. I am back to contemplating the meaning of llamas.

EDITIEST: Llamas are harbingers of chaos, they thrive on the chaos and confusion that feeds them, it makes them stronger and helps them multiply. I am not the one to oppose the wills of the llamas ( I do not dare and am not strong enough. Maybe one day the chosen one will appear and bring order to the llamas) so I will use them however I please, without explanations (like everyone else apparently.) . Still going with giving everyone a llama who gives me one.

I intend to get more active here from now on, have not been posting since I joined and entered a contest about 6 years ago.

Didn't get much response then so I assumed I sucked or at least just wasn't doing things that anyone but me was interested in and didn't continue drawing much for another long period.

But I feel I have to try more if I want to get to a point of making a living from doing something I actually like doing.

Right now I work at a gym as a receptionist/cleaner/handyman, it's not what I dreamed of doing and aside for the 3 years I worked as a tattoo artist I really have only been studying and working a bunch of jobs that had nothing to do with following my dreams and all that.

A mix of ADD, bad luck, depression, self-doubt and stupidity has kept me from really going for it and believing I could, I now think I can if I just work at it and don't give up.

I'm 42 now so I pretty much have to get started and I really am fed up with not working towards my goals.

During my long periods of not posting anything, barely ever finishing anything and extended periods of not drawing anything at all, I still have been planning stories, pictures, games and things I now feel will just be lost if I don't actually get to writing and drawing it all.

I hope people will like what I do and that their support will keep me on track.

So my plan is to start finishing things and getting them out for people to see and hopefully like, maybe even inspire someone else if I succeed with reaching my goal.

That goal being to be free to do what I want, not work for other people and to be able to do that from anywhere in the world if I just have a laptop, a tablet and an internet connection.

I do have a quite detailed plan on how to reach this goal and it is something I have been thinking about for quite some years now, we'll see how it goes.

Comments 9

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Tack för laman! 'le gasp'
XenotoposHobbyist General Artist

Vassego. Fattar inte lamor :P Om nån ger mig en så får dom en, eller om någon ber om en.

Ah, men då har du fattat helt korrekt.
Det är precis så det ska va! :D
(Fast man kan alltid själv hitta på en djupare mening med dem om man vill).
llamacopter llamacopter llamacopter 
XenotoposHobbyist General Artist

Jag har försökt, men det är lite som religion, folk använder som dom själva vill och vad som känns logiskt för dem :P

LeoReeseoHobbyist Digital Artist
I love you.
I'm sorry I can't participate in your forum post.
Just remember that when things are taken from us, sometimes it's for the best.
And there's always hope for a brighter future!
XenotoposHobbyist General Artist

I'm trying for that mindset, but it's not fucking easy right now.

LeoReeseoHobbyist Digital Artist
I know.
In time.
Hang in there.