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About Literature / Hobbyist ShaniFemale/United States Recent Activity
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when the word alone finally means lonely
Alone at 2AM, a comfortable silence.
Finishing the last chapter of your most current read.
Cozying up in your favorite blanket.
An owl hoos, hello
Alone at 3AM is a horrible experience.
Late night cup of tea, cold.
Frost icing up the windows, ever so slightly.
An empty chair fills the silence; suffocating, smothering
Alone at 4AM is worse.
The stairs creak on the way up.
The shadows on the walls taunt.
That other pillow sits there, lonely
To fall asleep alone, cold and empty
Tossing and turning never made so much noise
until now.
To lie awake, staring at the walls.
Wondering to yourself "Why?" and "I miss you"
To finally fall asleep, cheeks wet
:iconx-morphine-angel-x:x-Morphine-Angel-x 1 0
and i forgot how to sing
to be born a bird
only to be left in
a cage
with a locked door
to be placed in the middle
of a room
with soundproof walls
to have my feathers
and my beak taped
i had lost all hope even to cry
to dream
to stand
who wants a broken bird
flightless, songless
i wasted away with
no one to
- -
and we're all just
birds caught in a jar
the sky, our lid
:iconx-morphine-angel-x:x-Morphine-Angel-x 0 0
i jumped down the rabbit hole face-first
Fear.  I've forgotten what it means.
I know at one point, I feared Death.
But I don't really understand what it means anymore.
What it meant.
I don't fear Death anymore.
Especially not after meeting him for a third time.
He was so beautiful.  So fragile.
I was already short of breath from my fall
but he stole one more.
Paper thin skin.  Soft black hair.
Dark pools for eyes.
I wanted to kiss him.
I wanted him to be real.
He was so gentle and soft.
He picked me up from the floor and carried me away.
He cradled me and rocked me in his arms like a child.
He cared more for me in ten minutes than anyone ever had in my entire life.
I was fixed up in no time but I didn't really know why.
Not a word was murmured between us.
Just calm silence.
When I was feeling better, he stood me up and gently shook his head.
I knew what he meant: "It's not your time"
The next thing I know, I was in a hospital bed.
I was sad.
I was confused.
I was gone.
I had fallen in love with Death but he wou
:iconx-morphine-angel-x:x-Morphine-Angel-x 1 0
i'll wait for you
a cup of tea is like that boy you are trying to find.
warm, just warm enough to turn you pink.
steam tickling your face when you hold the mug up to your lips.
palms feel like he just let go of your hand after walking you home.
a lasting warmth that makes you long for more.
you warm up from the inside out, spirits lifted, a smile teasing the corners of your mouth.
you can't help but yearn for more.
more warmth, more happiness, just more.
- -
but a cup of tea will never break your heart.
:iconx-morphine-angel-x:x-Morphine-Angel-x 3 8
and i thought the sadness went away
but sadness pools up in the very bottom of your stomach, weighing you down, like an anchor.
sadness hides away in the shadows between your ribs, knots that dig into your skin.
sadness is a pair of hands wrapped around your neck, tightening with every breath.
sadness never leaves. sadness never goes away.
:iconx-morphine-angel-x:x-Morphine-Angel-x 1 0
birdsongs are just chaos noises sung in harmony
you forged the key to my birdcage heart.
you unlocked it and let all the blackbirds fly away.
at first, they were hesitant, eying the open door.
but one by one, they hopped out and left;
flapping their wings in joy, flying in circles before
                                                                                   l e a  v   i     n      g       .
there was a lingering echo in my birdcage of a heart,
one last solitary flutter of a blackbird's wing.
a feather drifted t
:iconx-morphine-angel-x:x-Morphine-Angel-x 0 2
risky risque
to hike up the mountain
           in a string bikini
what the hell is wrong with you
:iconx-morphine-angel-x:x-Morphine-Angel-x 2 0
heart aches and heart attacks
I was standing on a crack in the side
It zigged and zagged and weeds were peeking out.
The sun shone on my legs, my shadow danced behind me.
March thought it would be funny to glue my shoes to the ground.
Or was it April?
Maybe it was May.
I tried to take a step because he said
'step on a crack and break your momma's back'
My feet wouldn't budge. Damn April.
I bent my knees and reached for my shoelaces.
Untie the left. Untie the right.
I stepped out of my shoes, wiggled my toes.
I stared at the crack. It stared straight back.
I thought arms were coming out to grab me.
Your arms to be exact - I could see your hands perfectly - that small scar between your thumb and index finger.
But that was just my head playing tricks on me.
I took two steps to the right and five steps forward.
I stopped. I looked back at my shoes.
Laces undone, right on a crack in the side
:iconx-morphine-angel-x:x-Morphine-Angel-x 0 0
i forgot to turn the stove off this morning
i was too busy staring at a cloud above my head.
it was twisting and twirling and spinning and writhing.
a bird traced the whimsical edges with its sharp black wings.
i looked away for no more than two seconds and the cloud was gone.
but why? didn't it know i wasn't in the mood for hide-n-seek?
i locked my front door and didn't look back.
a different cloud hovered inches above my head this time.
it was filled with words, phrases, sounds, nonsense.
did my brain forget that i forgot how to speak years ago?
i forgot how to write to make you feel or not to feel.
i forgot what words had to do with anything.
the trees groaned and twisted, feeling my bleakness.
my mind tried to catch my attention, make me look at the green leaves.
resist, i told myself. they don't matter anymore.
none of it mattered. it wouldn't change a thing.
to write down a word, followed by a sentence. it wasn't going to work.
and i knew it
i kept walking
:iconx-morphine-angel-x:x-Morphine-Angel-x 0 0
It's hard to fall in love when half the month is stark white and the other is barely sunny.  
It's hard to fall in love when it looks like it'll start pouring on you.  
It's hard to fall in love when Mother Nature's mad at the world.  
It's hard to fall in love when they don't love you back.  
It's hard to fall in love when no one looks at you.  
It's hard to fall in love when--  
It's hard to fall in love...  
It's hard to fall
It's hard to--  
It's hard.
:iconx-morphine-angel-x:x-Morphine-Angel-x 2 0
It's nice to feel liked, you understand right?  
When people don't ignore you, don't talk to you only because they want something, don't fall asleep on you.  
It's nice to talk to someone who smiles back and makes you laugh and giggle and blush like crazy.  
It's just nice.
:iconx-morphine-angel-x:x-Morphine-Angel-x 1 0
11:11 wishes were created to cloud your vision whether they be AM wishes or PM wishes.  
It doesn't matter if the day turns out beautiful - reality will always rip the band-aid off as fast as possible.  
Go wash your face.  Rub your eyes.  Get rid of the sandman's dust trickling down your face.  
Eat a nail.  A book.  A leaf.  It doesn't matter - none of it is real.  It'll taste like honey on your tongue.  
Just go back to bed.  
:iconx-morphine-angel-x:x-Morphine-Angel-x 2 0
pocketful of sunshine
The sun came out today, warm and bright.  
The wind was a little strong, but it's okay.  
Because it's a sign that summer is just around the corner.  
And waiting is always the best and worst part.
:iconx-morphine-angel-x:x-Morphine-Angel-x 1 0
meaning of life
Nothing can beat sweet weather after a night of rain and then being showered with cute compliments...  
except bacon~
Always go for the bacon.
:iconx-morphine-angel-x:x-Morphine-Angel-x 1 2
The weather forecast said rain but it doesn't start pouring until bedtime.  
Meet a new person online, I know scandal!  
But he's adorable and makes me blush like no one else.  
I hope tomorrow's just as nice.
:iconx-morphine-angel-x:x-Morphine-Angel-x 0 0
After days of bleak whiteness, the sun emerges.  
Who cares what happens now… it's beautiful and it has just made my day.  
Go out and smile~
(who am I kidding, I hope it doesn't rain…)
:iconx-morphine-angel-x:x-Morphine-Angel-x 0 0


Don't forget by SarahharaS1 Don't forget :iconsarahharas1:SarahharaS1 377 69 Forget me not by Mattuhh Forget me not :iconmattuhh:Mattuhh 57 29 stardust. by this-is-the-life2905 stardust. :iconthis-is-the-life2905:this-is-the-life2905 329 52
Part-Time Hooker
I inhale smoke and dirty thoughts
(sleeping with a waste-of-calories
with no sex appeal. her heart
doesn't beat
 the volume of
smell increases as it's
getting hotter than a
 fever heat
 I don't mind her
cold hands around my --
 burned out lights form a
silhouette; film this on
screen like a dream
you can watch or hear.
but she doesn't scream;  
her bones suffocate me
as she's wrapped around
my body -
she's stiff, cold, dry.
sleeping with a waste-of-calories
with no sex appeal. her heart
doesn't beat. )
Until I can't breathe.
:iconnosedivve:nosedivve 227 247
BLUE MOOD by wiwionart BLUE MOOD :iconwiwionart:wiwionart 1,522 196
Chocolate Chaos
Random pastry movement: brownie in motion.
:iconhalatia:Halatia 117 96
Do you know the taste of the universe?
One day, when you’re five years old and made out of fractured sunlight and mirror shards, you sit down on the bench of the MAX train. You’re dressed in your winter coat and boots that are too big and one of your parents has pulled your hat too close over your ears.
You’re sitting next to your mother, and on the other side is a man that smells like loneliness, something that you’ll later know as cigarettes and alcohol and homelessness. He’s crying quietly into the top of his jacket and you’re scared to look because you’ve never seen an adult cry.
The train ride goes on for five minutes, which is a long time to you, and eventually you sneak a look at the crying man who smells like Portland and loneliness, and he sees you. He leans down until you can see the red lines in his eyes and he whispers to you.
“Do you know the taste of the universe?”
And you look up at him with your little-girl eyes and shake your head because you can’t
:iconsynesthi:Synesthi 341 175
Heartfelt Lies by LaurenCalaway Heartfelt Lies :iconlaurencalaway:LaurenCalaway 1,194 120 Paris by Anti-Pati-ya Paris :iconanti-pati-ya:Anti-Pati-ya 4,218 197 Lacelegance by Redanshy Lacelegance :iconredanshy:Redanshy 796 94 Totoro Tribute by minitreehouse Totoro Tribute :iconminitreehouse:minitreehouse 3,053 187 Totoro Cake by CutieFlame Totoro Cake :iconcutieflame:CutieFlame 229 26 Complete collection by VictorCustomizer Complete collection :iconvictorcustomizer:VictorCustomizer 2,711 797
Mature content
Things I Have Learned About Being a Woman :iconmarashete:Marashete 630 344
I Wish I Was the Moon by AgarthanGuide I Wish I Was the Moon :iconagarthanguide:AgarthanGuide 51 8


  • Listening to: itunes
  • Drinking: water
i haven't written anything since october.
i haven't thought of anything since october.

i'm home alone.
there are no words left.

.... no but srsly ... i've been stuck in a pit since october -_-


x-Morphine-Angel-x's Profile Picture
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States

:bulletpurple: 23 years old
:bulletpurple: lives in southern California
:bulletpurple: loves: music, reading, eating, art, [insert other option here]
:bulletpurple: speaks French [and English, and Chinese]
:bulletpurple: aspires to work in the health industry
:bulletpurple: has Peter Pan syndrome
:bulletpurple: gets insomnia every so often


"merely looks innocent"




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Anisa-Mazaki Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2017  Professional Digital Artist
I am so sorry for the super super late Response, but Birthday's Badge and Listings has been down for a while and I had to manually find you to send you my Greetings, (cuz normally I do this activity almost everyday now as part of my way to spreading positivity around. )
So without further delay, I want to wish you a


Airborne Trophy Dance! Juggle Boogie!  Party :squee:Free Avatar - CupTardCake Sun HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Sun Free Avatar - CupTardCake  :squee: Party Boogie!   Juggle Dance! Trophy Airborne 

Have some free (Celebratory) Art too, for your Special Day :) (Smile) (There's  more free works like this comming very soon. They won't be this colourful but they will be open everybody to have.)
Candy-free Wallpaper 2 - Full by Anisa-Mazaki
SawuScimitar74 Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2017
Happy Birthday! Have a good one! :)
birthdays Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2017
:woohoo: :party: :iconcakelickplz: !!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!! :iconcakelickplz: :party: :woohoo: It's August 10th which means it's that time of the year again and your special day is here! We hope you have an awesome day with lots of birthday fun, gifts, happiness and most definitely, lots of cake! Here's to another year! Many well wishes and love from your friendly birthdays team :love: --- Birthdays Team This birthday greeting was brought to you by: UndertakerMichaelis
Jasperinity Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2017
Happy birthday! :D
birthdays Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2016
:woohoo: :party: :iconcakelickplz: !!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!! :iconcakelickplz: :party: :woohoo:

On behalf of the birthdays team, I sincerely apologize that your greeting has arrived late this year.

We hope you had an awesome day with lots of birthday fun, gifts, happiness and most definitely, lots of cake! Here's to another year!

Many well wishes and love from your friendly birthdays team :love:

Birthdays Team
This birthday greeting was brought to you by: KoudelkaW
Jasperinity Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2016
Happy birthday! :D
Reiuu Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Misc Emoji (Happy Birthday Bunny n Bear) [PMotes] by Jerikuto
Jasperinity Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2015
Happy birthday! :D (Big Grin)
birthdays Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2015
:woohoo: :party: :iconcakelickplz: !!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!! :iconcakelickplz: :party: :woohoo:

It's August 10th which means it's that time of the year again and your special day is here! We hope you have an awesome day with lots of birthday fun, gifts, happiness and most definitely, lots of cake! Here's to another year!

Many well wishes and love from your friendly birthdays team :love:

Birthdays Team
This birthday greeting was brought to you by: KoudelkaW
Lintu47 Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2015  Hobbyist Photographer
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