StJoan's Workshop: Results

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23rd December 2007

A word from Writers-Workshop ...

Wow our third workshop and first completed cycle is over!  We don’t really know where to start with our mountains of thanks!

Our three wonderful literature GDs have done us proud with the launch of our workshop and definitely embraced the format. To GunShyMartyr, somestrangebirds and of course StJoan we thank you dearly :heart:

We’ve also had some brilliant support throughout the world of literature on deviantArt and some very much appreciated journal mentions from those supporters. However our biggest thanks have to come from our members. Without you joining in with our workshops, watching us and supporting what we do as well as some excellent critique, this first run wouldn’t have been a success. For this we thank you also! :hug:

As our first run has come to its end cycle, it’s time for you to let us know what you think. Please feel free to leave your thoughts in our  Feedback Thread

The Jazz was... nice

Getting a sense of beat in a piece of writing is certainly a challenge! However, this was a successful challenge to everyone who committed themselves to the workshop. There was defiantly some strong senses of rhythm with both poetry and prose work slipping into some stylish beating work. And as StJoan said often in her comments; “I dig that”.

Again we have to take some time to give a special mention to those who took the time to give comments of feedback to those who entered their work into this workshop. This includes inspiredimperfection, kittyfantastic24 and batousaijin, but someone in particular we’d like to mention is xCamix who despite not having English as her first language has consistently provided some helpful and positive comments. Well done to her and to everyone who takes the time to critique everyone else’s work. You can learn just as much from looking as someone elses writing and offering feedback than you can on your own!


StJoan’s response...

"I think I can pick out three really strong pieces that I connected to and think have real real real potential to become something totally awesome when they take the crit they get from here and apply it.

I was interested to see people's take on this and was delighted to see some run with it and break out of the superficial view of the challenge and really utilize the ideas of music as tools rather than subject matter.

Thank you to everyone for the opportunity! It was fun!  It’s been years since I’ve done that much crit in that short a time frame" :faint:

On to the top picks!

:star: Smooth Street</b> by Bunnygirle26

Smooth Street has the potential to be a great snap shot prose. All it really needs is some more balanced description throughout the piece that would better ground the reader in the reality of this scene.
Active language here is key to creating the scene, and the use of a present tense would further the involvement of the reader.
Strengthen those things and you have a piece that is not only enjoyable to read but has a subtle message running in the undercurrent.

:star: Buri Boogie</b> by dr3amup

Buri Boogie does exactly what i was hoping to see. It takes the idea of movement and rhythm in a piece and applies it without overtly making it about the 'jazz' theme. Generally I don't like rhyme, and any I do enjoy is usually slant, but especially in the third stanza you can see it being employed cleverly. It is a strong rhyme with the in sound but it's not overly heavy or stilted. Each word fits there naturally as if the rhyme was an accident.
That's what you should aim for.

:star: Mmmm Jazz by darksouldream

Mmmm Jazz literally took me by surprise. Especially the last sentence, I about lost it.
It's so ‘beat’ you can feel it and it makes me want to get my black turtle necks out.

The only thing I would suggest is to take it out of the prose poetry form and give it the line breaks it so desperately desires. This could bring out that beat that much more and give this impressive visual to go with the impressive wording.

And finally...</b>

:santa: Writers-Workshop would like to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas and prosperous New Year, whatever your beliefs and wherever you are in the world! Enjoy the holiday season and keep on writing! :santa:

:bulletred: Don’t forget to tune into our next workshop! GeneratingHype will be taking us into the world of understanding dialogue in prose. We’re really looking forward to it!

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