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A Spot of Comfort by WordOfChen A Spot of Comfort by WordOfChen
Hey everyone,

Today I wrote something encouraging for someone who needs it. Unexpected things can happen in life, but no matter, I'll be there for you (coffee and crappy pick up lines included) xD

- Chennie

P.S.

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:iconmichel-le-fou:
Well, this warrants special attention because you used three styles in one poem. To start, it was a visual poem, with a solid background [but you must explain why black] and then he verse was traditional fixed form with a more definite free verse style and one stanza with rhyming pattern. Stanza Two. The blue flower fitted well with your background however; and something tells me that green print was your best choice of color for it too. The last tercet in violet looks good there as well. So all told, it was a really refreshing and well-presented poem. You show good and varied skill. Bravo!
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
3 out of 3 deviants thought this was fair.

:iconjessamar:
This is curious to me because visually I expected something a little darker or at least wistful/mournful - given the black background and the color of the flower. For something intended to be uplifting, I would expect brighter colors and maybe a different kind of flower entirely, a daisy or sunflower or something. If you are going for a contrasting effect, or perhaps trying to depict the way the person actually feels rather than how you want them to feel, it's fine of course.

I suggest making this not a poem. Other than the way the lines are arranged, it doesn't read especially like poetry; there is a rhyme in the second and third stanzas, but it is underplayed, and there's none at all that I can see in the first or last. You could left-align it and change the line breaks and it could be prose, and that would free you up to change the words in any way you want without worrying about people's expectations for poetry.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
2 out of 2 deviants thought this was fair.

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:iconangelichope:
angelichope Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2017
I like it!:) It is very positive and it seems real to me, like your genuine feelings on how you are not the best with words, but would still try to comfort someone when they are down, and the sincerity of those feelings that make it seem really sweet!!:heart:
I do agree with the deviant :iconberylalexandros: that the background looks dark, and this does not seem to match with the poem, which really does not seem dark to me. But when I think of the sincerity of the poem, how this poem is, again, real to me, and not trying to really be something it is not; it just wants to show its honest feelings, and admits that the narrator is not perfect—that life is not perfectthe dark visual to me sort of compliments that. It kind of gives this poem a different deeper dimension than it would have if the imagery were all bright and happy-go-lucky. I also agree that this does not have to be a poem; you could have been a whole lot more free if it were simply a prose, like just a positive statement, but then part of me kind of likes that this is a poem, because poems are meant to invoke an emotion to someone somewhere, so, to me, the fact that this is a poem, means that you wanted someone to FEEL something from this, which makes it even more sweet to me, and I already think this is just the sweetest thing!!:iconmecutelove: So those are my thoughts, I hope any of this made sense, and really lovely work!:heart:
Keep writing!!:)
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2017  Professional Writer
Thank you for enjoying this my dear friend and I am glad for your thoughts on the matter ^^ I will strive to continue making good poetry that you can all enjoy :'3

- Chennie
Reply
:iconangelichope:
angelichope Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2017
You are very welcome!!!:hug::D
I was happy to give my thoughts, and I am glad you liked them!!:D
Reply
:iconmiki94:
miki94 Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Beautiful piece. :3 Warm, candid and simple. You remind me of me. ^^

Can you please do me a big favor and take a moment to read this description? -> www.the16types.info/vbulletin/…

 I'm just really curious how much it resonates with you! Neko Emoji-37 (Yay) [V2] 
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2017  Professional Writer
Phaha, totally the opposite of me.

- I am not socialable AT ALL (except to women). I am usually quite a recluse.

- I dislike being outside

- I have short hair (though I wish I could have long hair)

- I am neither slender nor gracious. I rapidly put on muscle and fat so that leaves my body bulky, but not out of shape while I work out ^^

- I do however love to make people smile and laugh. I keep company mostly with females, because I very rarely get along with males. I enjoy cracking jokes and making people feel better, but when my mood is down I can definitely bring everyone down xD.

- Ironically, I do want to ascend to the top of the social ladder, but I hate being in the lime-light. I like to run things from the shadows and have everything fall into place.

I'd say I am a...STEREOTYPICAL ANIME VILLAIN...WRRRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYY XD

But there you go xD

- Chennie
Reply
:iconmiki94:
miki94 Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
hihi hmmm I guess you could be male Dostoevsky, my quasi-identical which could explain my confusion. ^^ I so wanna guess your profile. xD  

Look! Look! Neko Emoji-37 (Yay) [V2] 
www.the16types.info/vbulletin/…
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2017  Professional Writer
This is much closer to me, the only differences are:

- I do tend to associate one on one with people, I hate the whole group thing because I can't focus and learn about my friends. HOWEVER, I still compete for a leadership position

- No long hair once again (though I would love to have some)

- I would be a gentle husband/boyfriend, but I can also be possessive and aggressive toward other males and I have...dark tastes xD

- Chennie
Reply
:iconmiki94:
miki94 Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
One on one is very much Dostoevsky style tho. Most Dostoevsky like small groups, one on one being even better. Long hair hahah. Details. :p
Possessiveness and aggression and all that jazz (if your normal demeanor is gentle) , that's not personality type related, that's testosterone, fetishes and whatever else is in these weird heads of ours. Pwease I'm just glad I guessed your type. :happybounce: 
I've been playing around with this for a while now and it's fun to stick it down everyone's throat for my amusement. :PinkBummy:   It even works. It's becoming hilarious. I'm Yesenin (that opposite) and your romantic, sensitive, poet soul resonated to my romantic, whiny, poet soul. You're my quasi-identical so it is in that theory that these types look alike, even though internally they are completely different. twins 1 

Wanna know your ideal partner according to this? It's the best part. :3Walking The Dog 
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:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2017  Professional Writer
Since you seem so excited, you might as well tell me about it xD

- Chennie
Reply
:iconmiki94:
miki94 Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2017  Professional Writer
This woman sounds like she would completely take care of me as long as I lavish her with attention. That's perfect xD

- Chennie
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconmega-gear:
Mega-Gear Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2017
awwwwwwwwwwww
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2017  Professional Writer
Thanks for enjoying buddy

- Chennie
Reply
:iconmega-gear:
Mega-Gear Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2017
Any time u strange poet you !
Reply
:icontheevilovelords:
TheEvilOvelords Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Aaww X3
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2017  Professional Writer
Thanks for enjoying it xD

- Chennie
Reply
:icontheevilovelords:
TheEvilOvelords Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
No problem ^^
Reply
:iconmichel-le-fou:
Michel-le-fou Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2017  Professional Writer
As written in my critique, your combination of effects went well.
Reply
:iconwordofchen:
WordOfChen Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2017  Professional Writer
Thank you my friend ^^

- Chennie
Reply
:iconmichel-le-fou:
Michel-le-fou Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2017  Professional Writer
Welcome every time.
Reply
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