Chapter 55: Fallfest 1977/ Hammed Up Carnie Robot

The early September sun struck the outside of the ginormous fabric tent, rendering the showy fabric interior stuffy and sweltering. Nevertheless, the inside of the ginormous fabric showstopper was humming with activity as all manner of attractions, vendor's booths, stages, and open courts were set up. In the court owned by Fazbear Entertainment alone, several attractions, a dining area, and multiple performances and side attractions were being made ready for the guests that would come swarming in later that day. At the brand new Fazerblast shooting gallery, William Usnavi Afton, Henry Schmidt, and Arnold Colomar were all busy fixing all manner of last minute technical issues that the attraction was experiencing.

Arnold knelt in front of the counter, working on the delicate insides of a bear animatronic that was built to "man" the attraction as a commentator. As he fiddled with a finicky gear train, Arnold complained, "Man it's more calor than the inside of a horno de pizza!" Henry paused in the middle of hanging up one of the Fazerblast targets and repeated, "... Horno de Pizza...?" Arnold facepalmed and grumbled, "... Gringos hoy en dias. Deci dos palabras en Espanol, y no comprendes tu!" Henry resumed attaching the target to the scrolling conveyer belt hidden above the curtain and remarked, "It's hot in here... but at least it's not muggy..." Arnold griped, "That's exactly what I was saying! It's hotter than a pizza oven in this goddamed tent! You'd think that they set it up on the Mexico City Pavement or worse!" He wiped a film of sweat from his brow and got back to fiddling with the gear train. Nearby, William dug through an overstuffed box of targets, commenting, "Well... at least we're not setting up the Murray's booth. I mean- did you see that booth? It's a tent within a tent. That's all well and good if you're dealing with a cold night, but a sweltering 90 degree day? How are they not roasting themselves alive in there?" He pulled out another rabbit shaped pizza blob target and scowled at it as he handed it off to Henry. Henry started to hang it up, remarking, "They probably are unless they've got plenty of water on hand. Or unless they're working in short shifts." Arnold remarked, "I wonder if a thermometer taken into that booth 'll suddenly start showing triple digits." All three men laughed uncomfortably as they continued installing targets and prepping the commentator.

Arnold squinted at the voicebox of the animatronic bear standing in front of him and asked, "Why do we have a robot commentator anyway? Couldn't we just pay a teenager to stand there and run his mouth off about terrible shots?" William Usnavi remarked, "Knowing my brother, let's just say that..." He stood up and peered out of the attraction, scanning his surroundings for William George. He spotted George overseeing the installation of the main group of performing animatronics on the main stage, and relaxed a bit. William Usnavi finished his sentence, "He thinks it's more impressive to have an animatronic perform a job that a human employee could do for a cheap wage. Never mind that it costs at least a hundred thousand bucks to manufacture an individual advanced model." Arnold briefly stared at William, hesitantly asking, "And how much do you ask for your animatronics, boss?" William went back to sorting through the extensive catalogue of targets, remarking, "Oh, Henry and I? We generally ask about 150,000 per animatronic. Fazbear Entertainment generally splits that between the cost of materials, some in house manufacturing costs and our wages. It's usually the independent commissioners that pay the full cost upfront." Arnold remarked, "That's a lot of dollars..." Henry remarked, "Our biggest commission so far is Y Draig Gogh- I think Historical Royal Palaces- or was it the National Trust? paid 500,000 pounds through the nose for that one!" William agreed, "Converting that into dollars... that's around 650,000 dollars for one animatronic. And it's huge in the literal sense, too." Arnold asked, "... Do I want to know how big exactly?" He was interrupted, "Approximately 15.25 meters, with a wingspan of about 12.2 meters, and very lifelike if I do say so myself. It's what drove me to inquire about obtaining an animatronic for the estates back in Britain." Henry finished hanging up a star target and addressed Lord William Westinghouse Afton, "Glad you dropped by, sir. We're just getting the gallery set up... hopefully Mr. Crankpot will actually work properly now that we've sunk some blood, sweat, and tears into him." William Usnavi pulled a Fredbear prop and a pizza wheel out of a box, adding, "Right now it's Carnie's gear train that's giving us trouble." A resounding snap issued from inside Carnie's chest. Arnold quipped, "Well, that's the gear train fixed. Hopefully nothing else breaks-" A spring suddenly launched itself out of the bear's chest, causing Arnold to yelp, "GAH! CHINGADO RESORTES! It feels like this stupid heckler's already putting us down and we're not even shooting anything!" Henry burst out laughing, and spluttered, "At least you didn't have to record his lines, Arnold! One more session and we'd probably have given George a sore throat and a foul temper!" William Usnavi handed the loose spring back to Arnold, remaking, "At least it's just the one spring. It'd have been a nightmare if they all shot out like that!" Arnold begrudgingly nodded in agreement and reinserted the spring into the mechanism. He closed the torso plates, buttoned up the bear's double layer of cardigans, and turned the animatronic on, stepping back as everyone watched in anticipation.

Carnie fluttered to life, looked around the crowd standing in front of him, and boomed, "STEP RIGHT UP, STEP RIGHT UP! TEST YOUR SKILLS AND WIN A PRIZE! DO YOU LIKE DARTS? HIGH-TECH LASERS? EVER DREAM OF SHOOTING A REAL LIFE SCI-FI LASER? THEN YOU'VE COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE! FAZERBLAST HAS IT ALL, FOLKS! JUST SHOOT THE TARGETS AND TAKE A CHANCE!" As he boomed, Carnie started swaying and pivoting from side to side, looking around for potential contenders, and waving his arms around like he was trying to get the attention of everybody on the fairgrounds. Henry remarked, "Well, he's finally up and running. Now we need to finish setting up the rest of the shooting gallery...", helping his partner attach the Fredbear prop to its own gallery track. The Lord William Westinghouse shrugged, "Suit yourselves. I'm going to check in on my other son and see what else is new." As he left, Arnold mouthed at William Usnavi, "... That's your father?"

William Usnavi nodded, and got back to work adding the Spring Bonnie prop to the same track as Fredbear. Henry asked, "Arnold, could you get me a handful of stars and pizza bunnies? The floor tracks are looking a tad barren at the moment." Arnold started rifling through the box of Fazerblast targets, pulling a handful with lead gray stands attached to their backs from the still very full box. He handed them off to Henry, who started populating the floor track with a cast of mischief makers and stars. As they worked on filling the booth with props and targets, Arnold remarked, "Diner Chaos is a terrible theme for a shooting gallery." Henry agreed, "Definitely. And we've got four types of targets to sort through. Let me think... I think White targets are supposed to be hit with the laser, Blue targets are supposed to be hit with darts, and Green targets get balls lobbed at them. And I think hitting a red target is supposed to subtract points from your score." William Usnavi commented, "If you're wondering, George picked the theme. I tried to tell him that diner chaos is a bad theme for a shooting gallery, but he wouldn't listen..." Arnold and Henry exchanged glances. "So, what else is new?", Henry rhetorically asked. William Usnavi paused, another Spring Bonnie prop and a little magnetic pizza in his hands. "On the bright side, at least it's um... creative marketing? And I bet it'll be at least somewhat entertaining to stop raw dough bunnies from eating Fredbear's fresh baked pizza..." In his portion of the booth, Carnie boomed, "GET A LOAD OF THIS ONE, FOLKS! THINKS THAT A DART CAN TRIGGER A LIGHT SENSOR! WHAT A MAROON!"