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Since I can't describe you, I'll describe what you aren't.

You don't have a beard, but you aren't clean shaven. You don't have blue eyes, nor are they a warm brown. That would be far too poetic, and you aren't poetic. You're not musical, but you knew me well enough to realise that words are not always my strong point.

Last summer, you asked me to write you a song, but I started writing your symphony instead. It's winter now, and I wish it wasn't about you. Every time I listen, I can hear your melody - an underlying beat, inescapably you. I tried cutting every bar you were in, but all I was left with was a handful of countermelodies and no tune. Even in those you remained, stubbornly - an afterthought.

In August I left it ending on a diminished chord, the notes rising toward something I didn't have the heart to write. Maybe it was hope; perhaps acceptance. It may have even been fear - fear of writing those final chords and feeling my fingers let go of the lingerings of friendship I've been clinging to. Until your symphony is finished, neither are we.

We're still in our first movement.  We flounder in exposition, ideas growing like a crescendo beneath the skin. I tried to write a calming second movement, but when I thought of you, I couldn't imagine anything but storms and swaying trees.

Still, when I'm tired and alone and the words just wont come anymore, I find myself going back to the notes I wrote for you. That's when I sit and obsess over counterpoint and the point of it all. It's not just notes that fade - friendships fade, too, and we've been left, squinting at the light that we used to be.
i was prompted to write prose for the first time in forever, and the prompt was "afterthought".

despite many references, it's actually not about anyone at all...just an amalgamation of different stories.


(i'm still writing the symphony.)
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:iconthenotablescribbler:
theNotablescribbler Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2009
simply put, beautiful
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:iconwonderfulrachel:
wonderfulrachel Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2009
thankyou so much. :)
Reply
:iconevcfenix:
evcfenix Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2009
brilliant piece. very poignant from start to finish. i especially liked the opening lines :)
:thumbsup:
Reply
:iconwonderfulrachel:
wonderfulrachel Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2009
wow, thanks, sweetie. :)
i'm gonna rewrite it this weekend - is there anything you didn't think was so good?

-values your opinion muchly-
Reply
:iconevcfenix:
evcfenix Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2009
nope... i cant spot anything bad or wrong about it... :)
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:iconwonderfulrachel:
wonderfulrachel Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2009
pshaw fine. :P
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:iconredchevelle:
RedChevelle Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2009
I dare not describe it, but it's a piece that stirs something up in me... Well, maybe not stirs it up, so much as calms it. I'm not too sure.

Brilliant idea, great execution, powerful emotion. Well done :)
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:iconwonderfulrachel:
wonderfulrachel Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2009
Wow - thanks so much for such a well-thought out comment. :)

:D
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:iconredchevelle:
RedChevelle Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2009
Yeah, every once in a while I have to put out a rational thought. You got it this time. Enjoy :D
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:iconwonderfulrachel:
wonderfulrachel Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2009
pahahha, thanks a lot! xD
i feel honoured!
Reply
:iconliduen-kvaedhi:
Liduen-Kvaedhi Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2009
I like this a lot ;D
Reply
:iconwonderfulrachel:
wonderfulrachel Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2009
thanks, sweetheart :D
Reply
:iconliduen-kvaedhi:
Liduen-Kvaedhi Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2009
Not a problem ;D
Reply
:iconcarousel-dreams:
Carousel-Dreams Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2009
prose win<3
you are talented at both ends of writing, your dedication makes you now my official idol :heart:
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:iconwonderfulrachel:
wonderfulrachel Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2009
-blush-
:)
Reply
:iconcrashartist:
CrashArtist Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2009
This is marvelous Rachel, it really is
:heart:
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:iconwonderfulrachel:
wonderfulrachel Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2009
:heart: thankyou so much, sweetheart. (:
Reply
:iconcrashartist:
CrashArtist Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2009
You're so welcome
Reply
:iconxxpurechaosxx:
XxPureChaosxX Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2009
I loved it! You're such a talented writer. =]
Reply
:iconwonderfulrachel:
wonderfulrachel Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2009
>.< it's the first time i've tried prose in sooo soo long so i'm actually okay with how it turned out!

pheww.
Reply
:iconvgaer:
vgaer Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2009   Writer
Aaaah oh my gosh this is so brilliant. I have missed your writing so much! this is truly great.
Reply
:iconwonderfulrachel:
wonderfulrachel Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2009
this is going to change like so much over the next few weeks.
but thanks for the vote of confidence. :D

:heart:
Reply
:iconvgaer:
vgaer Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2009   Writer
Muah <3

P.s. do you have skype?
Reply
:iconwonderfulrachel:
wonderfulrachel Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2009
i dooo!

i'll note it to you because it's my full name. >.<
Reply
:iconoptalbeethova:
optalbeethova Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
This is pretty. ")
Reply
:iconwonderfulrachel:
wonderfulrachel Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2009
thankyou very much :)
Reply
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