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About Deviant Artist Jasmine Barnes24/Female/United States Group :iconthepoemconsortium: ThePoemConsortium
POETRY
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Deviant for 10 Years
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Literature
The strongest are the weakest
It's hard to always be the strong one.
To help everyone in their time of need,
to be the one who doesn't cry,
to be the one that has to keep her head up high
Didn't you know, I'm dying on the inside?
Between fake smiles,
and the painful laughing,
Not once was did I feel it
Don't you know what depression is?
The part of my brain that experiences happiness
- it doesn't connect.
I'm incapable of knowing what it's like to be happy
Sure, you can take pills,
they trick you, make you think you know what happy is
It's all just a farce
I send you happy texts,
I give you needed hugs,
I try to keep you smiling
-every last one of you
But I'm never enough
Do you know what that's like?
To never mean anything to anyone
I stand by all of you,
making you feel better
You think I'm strong because I don't cry?!
Didn't you know that I'm the weakest of them all?
:iconwolfdemonlover20:wolfdemonlover20
:iconwolfdemonlover20:wolfdemonlover20 7 5
Literature
Hate
I just can't
-can't handle the reality
You left me?
This can't be real..
I'm drowning,
stuck in-between two worlds
I don't know what's real anymore
I see this world,
but I can't feel it
Am I really here?
Is this even real?
Where's the relevance?
I thought I was "best girlfriend ever"?
Fuck you and your lies
I fucking loved you..
You can't leave me here
-Like I'm nothing
I meant the world to you once!
Please don't do this..
I need you!
I want to hate you so bad
What you did was unforgivable
I'm so fucking angry!
And I can't hate you?
:iconwolfdemonlover20:wolfdemonlover20
:iconwolfdemonlover20:wolfdemonlover20 3 3
Literature
Murder me
Hot breaths and deep kisses
We just keep getting more heated
Each time it's a step further
Each time I get more wound
You know I love you, right?
But I saw the look in your eyes
Even through the intoxication,
I saw you change
I can't help you, can I?
Try as I will,
we're stuck in this state
-of drunken tongues rubbing together,
and bodies grinding so closely
I looked forward to those moments,
Hoping someday we'd go to the final level
The level of complete freedom
But I saw you
-well I'm not sure it was really you
We got a little bit rougher
-a tad bit more further,
and you had murder in your eyes
I saw what lies beneath
-the other you,
and now I feel like I should be terrified
All I can feel is horrible for ever starting this
You know I love you, right?
I've never felt such a connection with someone
You are truly amazing.
Everyone has issues
And I'm still here
You know I love you, right?
I was going to let you wrap your hands around my throat..
:iconwolfdemonlover20:wolfdemonlover20
:iconwolfdemonlover20:wolfdemonlover20 4 1
Drunk in love by wolfdemonlover20 Drunk in love :iconwolfdemonlover20:wolfdemonlover20 1 7
Mature content
Diseased and Broken :iconwolfdemonlover20:wolfdemonlover20 2 0
Literature
Head to heart
Do things really get better,
or is this just a temporary feeling?
Why does it take so much-
just to make one person happy?
Between the pills,
the self destruction,
the counseling,
and the doctors
Are they really helping you?
Is this all just a lie?
A facade to stop time,
time used to abuse yourself?
What are you to do,
in this world of pain?
Is there really any help for me?
I don't really know what I feel
too distant to tell,
what's reality and mind games.
I can love a person so hard,
and they can love me too
It's only a matter of time.
I'm never enough,
the love slips through fingertips,
like silvers
What can I do,
when I say things
-do things,
for my own self destruction?
There's a hole in my head,
there's a hole in my heart.
Which do I follow,
when they'll tear you apart?
:iconwolfdemonlover20:wolfdemonlover20
:iconwolfdemonlover20:wolfdemonlover20 6 0
Literature
No cares
I've never felt, quite so alone
I keep giving you a chance,
but you never change
You break my heart continuously,
Not even seeming to break a sweat
I'm starting to think you don't care
I'm always by your side,
but you're never here for me
It's always like this for me
I'm telling you,
how you always-
let me down
You don't do anything other than,
give me a meaningless apology
You just keep breaking me.
I just wanted someone to care,
to listen to what I'm going through
But there's never anyone at the door..
:iconwolfdemonlover20:wolfdemonlover20
:iconwolfdemonlover20:wolfdemonlover20 2 5
Literature
Can you tell me what are words
What is a meaning?
Can you tell me what are words,
when they don't mean a thing?
And why can't they change the cords
-of life?
I find it hard to understand,
what it means
When everything falls apart
We can't fix the broken,
not when they're spilt in half
Why'd you let it go so far?
Far enough to reach the stars
Unreachable by ones' hand,
falling through your mind like sand
What do I mean to you?
You can tell a person anything,
but do you mean it?
How would I know,
if it's a lie or not?
I wouldn't
And what do you matter in a world so big?
They'll tell you anything
and you still wont mean a damn thing
:iconwolfdemonlover20:wolfdemonlover20
:iconwolfdemonlover20:wolfdemonlover20 3 4
Mature content
Baby, I remember :iconwolfdemonlover20:wolfdemonlover20 3 0
Literature
Addicted
I know you can see me,
I'm not invisible
Why won't you love me,
Like I love you
There are plenty of fish in the sea,
but I don't care about them
I only love you,
So please tell me the truth
I need to know, how you really feel
Because I have no idea, what is real
Time keeps ticking,
And I'm still sat here,
Waiting for your answer,
Because I need it
You're an addiction,
A sick one at that,
You aren't good for me,
We're both unwell
You stick to me, like drugs to an addict,
I need you more than most
You're my safe haven,
I can't function, without my daily dose
:iconwolfdemonlover20:wolfdemonlover20
:iconwolfdemonlover20:wolfdemonlover20 6 3
Literature
Show me the truth
Smiles are broken,
Souls are lost,
People are alone,
We live without cost
Give me a penny,
I'll calm down
Give me a dollar,
I'll mold into you
Never quite happy,
With what I've got,
I continue to ask,
For what I've saught
I'll beg and plead,
Get down on my knees,
I'll cry "Give it to me",
And you'll sigh and hand it over
I'll stare at you,
until you get uncomfortable,
I'll look into your soul,
with my pain filled eyes
I smirk at you,
I've got you where you belong,
You just can't say no,
To someone you long for
Not when they are searching,
Searching for the same thing,
Not when they are looking,
looking for you
Not in a world,
Where people keep taking
Not in a place,
Where no one can look-
at eachothers faces
Hiding in their lies,
Tearing without cries,
Begging without ties,
Taking without sighs
Show me a place,
A place with the truth,
Pull me close,
And tell me you love me too..  
A heart can keep breaking,
For as long as we love,
But if we don't love,
Then we wouldn't feel hurt
W
:iconwolfdemonlover20:wolfdemonlover20
:iconwolfdemonlover20:wolfdemonlover20 9 2
Literature
Liars in Happiness
I feel cold often. Like all the warmth from smiles and promises are broken.                                                                                                                        I'm sad, hiding behind false lips and lies.                           
:iconwolfdemonlover20:wolfdemonlover20
:iconwolfdemonlover20:wolfdemonlover20 7 8
Literature
If it makes you happy
I can hide behind a smile,
I can tell you I'm okay,
I can let you be with someone else,
If it makes you happy
I can miss you-
even when you will never miss me,
And I can try to get over you,
but you're the only thing I love
It may be months since our last conversation,
but I still get butterflies when I think of you,
You may not care for me anymore,
But I love you so much it hurts
I hate remembering you,
the way you laughed,
your smile,
your voice..
It lit up my world
Now everything is dim,
I'm not sure what to do,
I just don't really see a point-
even if it makes you happy
:iconwolfdemonlover20:wolfdemonlover20
:iconwolfdemonlover20:wolfdemonlover20 18 22
Literature
My illnesses
I'm fading, losing myself
Hating everything I do,
Hating everything about me
Why can't it just end?
I'm relapsing,
My happiness goes just as fast as it comes,
I want it to just stop,
I want everything to just stop,
The fights, the drama, the stress-
the crying, the screaming, the cutting, breathing..
I hate that I want to die..
I want to want to live so badly,
But I just can't..
I was fine for a month or so,
but it's all coming back,
I feel that I'm growing empty again,
I'm hurting myself again,
and even trying to work up the courage to just end it all..
I want so badly not to feel this way,
I fear myself,
I'm so scared..
I don't want to go back to a mental hospital-
but I might have to..
I've convinced myself that I'm fat,
A part of my mind tells me I shouldn't eat,
when I do eat another part of me wants to retch it up
I tried so hard to beat that part of myself,
but I'm slowly giving in..
Please just stop..
I can't keep doing this to myself..
I want the help,
but people tell me I'm j
:iconwolfdemonlover20:wolfdemonlover20
:iconwolfdemonlover20:wolfdemonlover20 3 15
Literature
Beauty
I used to suffer with myself,
confidence was a zero,
I thought I had no wealth,
I could never be a hero
I don't know why I ever doubted myself,
Part of being human maybe?
I believe that as people we focus on our flaws-
not to make us feel bad about ourselves,
but to find something that makes us different from everybody else
Beauty and perfection are thought to mix hand in hand-
the definition of society,
But that's not true
No one is perfect,
but every one is beautiful
Behind every smile is an un-shed tear,
Jealousy, anger, sadness,
it's part of being human
True beauty: Is to not be afraid to be yourself,
People will reject you, and make fun of you,
Jealously will overrun them, for they wish they could be true too.
Real people, will accept you as you are,
and love you for being true to yourself
Now that is true beauty.. ♥
:iconwolfdemonlover20:wolfdemonlover20
:iconwolfdemonlover20:wolfdemonlover20 9 8
Literature
Tell me you love me
A girl can wait for her prince charming,
But what she'll find is quite alarming
Boys will fake love,
And smiles are full of blood
She'll take his hand,
Believe all his demands
He will lead her,
And forever mistreat her
She will love him
-slowly but surely,
And he will lie to her
-easily and purely
Manipulation and temptation,
Running hand and hand
His lies may become truths,
-It won't change anything,
She'll become ruthless,
-wanting nothing less
Arguments will take a twist,
Leaving nothing left but drifts
-of lost kisses and heartbreak
Hearts break, but never mend,
People love, but never again
-make the mistake of trusting
The one who could sing
:iconwolfdemonlover20:wolfdemonlover20
:iconwolfdemonlover20:wolfdemonlover20 7 6

Random Favourites

Literature
Heartbreak
"I love you" were the words you said to me
According to you we were meant to be
So why are you not by my side?
My heart is breaking on the inside
I knew I should have never have trusted you
I knew you were too good to be true
:iconaushpluva:aushpluva
:iconaushpluva:aushpluva 264 57
Literature
Heartbreak
He deceived me, just like everyone else, asking me
Ever so patiently to open up to him and share
All my haunting thoughts, those that keep me awake.
Racking sobs erupting from my trembling lips,
Tossing and turning all night, so I do as he asks,
Bearing my soul to him, letting him see my feelings,
Revealing parts of me no one else knew,
Extracting painful memories and entrusting secrets
All the while, he leads me on.  I really should have
Known, should have known he would betray me.
:icondetailoring:detailoring
:icondetailoring:detailoring 224 56
Literature
Her
Everything I am,
everything I do,
means nothing.
To them,
to her.
That bitch.
Hating me for;
making a mistake,
for being human.
For being stricken with my sadness.
Having this disease.
Trying desperately to feel better.
But everything I try,
she makes me feel worse.
She makes me;
want to leave,
run away,
die.
And when
I try to appease her.
She shoots me down.
Insults me.
Makes me want to die even more.
She says I deserve to die.
And I believe her.
:iconBeatNickBarney:BeatNickBarney
:iconbeatnickbarney:BeatNickBarney 0 6
Literature
The Boy
Listen to the sound
of the boy's sorrow ring.
Listen to the cries
of a boy in pain.
Unsure of what to do,
what to say,
to think.
Afraid of;
the emptiness inside,
the coldness of the Others,
the truth.
Masked by the
mocking voices
of the Others.
The Boy;
unsure,
afraid
of being mocked
by the Others
on their pedestal.
thinking they're right
thinking they're better.
The bastards;
hating the Boy
because he's different
because he's unique.
But the Boy;
afraid,
unsure.
This is where
he shines bright,
where he is himself.
In his room,
with his paper,
pen,
writing,
like no other.
Utterly brilliant things.
If only they knew,
if only they could see
the Boy in his room,
writing such brilliant stories,
poems, books.
But the Boy;
afraid,
unsure,
never tells anyone
never shows anyone
the things he writes.
Afraid of the Others
afraid of himself.
And the Boy;
afraid,
unsure,
of the other's words,
their judgment.
Stays the way he is,
but the Others words,
mocking,
demeaning,
hurtful.
Pushed the Boy
ove
:iconBeatNickBarney:BeatNickBarney
:iconbeatnickbarney:BeatNickBarney 3 8
Literature
A Lover's Dream
The other day I saw you
Walking in a dream of mine,
In your face I see your smile,
One million suns -- beaming.
As you get close I see your eyes,
A hundred thousand souls screaming.
We embrace,
But my heart shies away --
Afraid of their only owner.
One of them stays, embraces you,
but splits me in two.
My shy heart -- Karl --
Cries out against his brother
In pain and despair.
Brother Matt, hearing the cries of his other half;
Jumps to you because
He's lonely and scared,
But dies in my throat because
Nobody's there.
Karl witnesses this act;
Ripped and torn he bleeds in my chest,
His blood red sorrow fills my stomach.
As this tragedy unfolds
Beneath my breast;
you begin to speak,
Your voice spinning webs of desire
Within my ears.
That block my sense, so that only
Your lips move.
So that, your voice
Is a treasure.
Plundered and hunted; by
Karl and his crew.
My senses dulled,
Breathing laboured,
As your beautiful lips move on, I
Choke on my heart.
And in falling to the ground I leave you.
:iconBeatNickBarney:BeatNickBarney
:iconbeatnickbarney:BeatNickBarney 1 5
Literature
The Puppet
A lost school child chasing
Shadows cast by the
Puppet; dancing his way into
Flesh and Blood.
Savoring the moment -- that ecstatic
Moment when another
School boy chases that elusive
Shadow.  A bait to the line, they greet the
Puppet; holding the pole, but still
Dancing his way into
Flesh and Blood.
Pulling his own strings now,
Behind a boiling pot.  
Round and round goes the
Puppet; dancing his way to
Flesh and Blood.
:iconBeatNickBarney:BeatNickBarney
:iconbeatnickbarney:BeatNickBarney 1 0
Literature
The Canopy
            On the stone, the bloodstained and desolate rock; occupied only by the screaming and thrashing girl tied down with vines.  Accompanied by Father Malachi, and shadowed by a congregation of sheep chanting the banter of their so-called savior.  A sacrifice they say to please the gods.  To bring rain, let the crops grow, bring us salvation and what have you.  The chanting comes to a climax, I turn away from the mob just as the screams go silent, and an overwhelming wave of nausea comes over me.  I walk over to a log and sit, trying not to vomit as the mob disperses.  I guess they lost interest.
            These spectacles have been a more common sight below the Canopy, ever since the drought.  It's been a year without rain and our crops won't grow.  The mystics have been foretelli
:iconBeatNickBarney:BeatNickBarney
:iconbeatnickbarney:BeatNickBarney 2 5
Literature
Souls Call Collect
Bare footfalls in the dark,
A single lost soul in limbo
Just falling apart.
Constantly in shambles,
Floating from heart to heart.
He is the child of winter,
But in his still, pacing heart,
He clings to the warmest part.
One more soul lost to the
Madness inside.
Another girl still brooding in
Her ever-expanding lie.
But in her static, fluttering heart;
She knows warmth still lies in
His unbroken stuttering word.
These two lost souls drinking
In their cars;
Staring at the wounds left -- all
Burns and scars.
Drowning their sorrows,
To ease the pain
Of another fresh wound,
Both bleed in vain.
So turn on the car,
And let it run.
For tonight His story ends again.
Tonight Her story ends again.
:iconBeatNickBarney:BeatNickBarney
:iconbeatnickbarney:BeatNickBarney 4 6
Literature
If I Were A Love Poet...
If I was a love poet,
I'd write the most beautiful poems.
I would write my heart on this page
And set free the demons I cage.
If I were a love poet
I would write the rhymes and lines, to
Let myself shine;
Like the T.V. going on a long night.
I'd write about how Bob Marley
Loved getting closer to God.
But I'm not a love poet.
But if I were,
I'd write about you.
I'd write about your T.V. screen eyes,
That told volumes in my gaze.
I would write about your hair;
Black as the night yet it shone like stars.
If I were a love poet,
My poems would tell of angels,
Who fall from the sky in envy.
Just as our lips meet.
I'm really not a love poet,
But when I look in your eyes
I see the next 80 years of my life.
Played out in the old cartoons
You still love to watch,
Going on long nights.
I swear I'm not a love poet,
But if I was,
My first poem would be about you.
About how you were stricken with
Your madness of beauty.
About how your smile could raise my
Soul from the depths of Hell.
I'd write a mi
:iconBeatNickBarney:BeatNickBarney
:iconbeatnickbarney:BeatNickBarney 4 19
Literature
Slowly Walking
Down by the restaurant.
Do you see the brilliant man?
There he goes down by the library.
Walking slowly. Slowly walking.
He has no business among us.
His separate life different from ours.
But there he goes.
Walking slowly. Slowly walking.
:iconmedusa1288:medusa1288
:iconmedusa1288:medusa1288 1 0
Literature
Light As A Feather
I’m light as a feather. Ha. That kind of seems obvious doesn’t it? Yeah, I know how I look. But, I’m not talking about my weight. Just listen for a second. Perhaps I should phrase it differently. I’m light as the color white. Does that sound better to your ears? Are your eyes more appreciative of that wording? No? Maybe they just need an explanation. Stick around for a little while. I promise I won’t try to seduce you. I’m light as a feather, remember?
Oh, lighten up. How bad can I be? I have no color. A white outline never hurt anyone. That’s right. An outline sounds better, doesn’t it? That’s all I am. A silly little outline. Perfectly drawn to hold all the color I have the potential to possess. Beautifully shaped to carry all the shades that have the power to replace me. And what’s even worse, or better I suppose, for you, is that the power hanging above me is doing just that and only that. Hanging. Dangling directly above my outline
:iconbeingabletobreathe:beingabletobreathe
:iconbeingabletobreathe:beingabletobreathe 5 8
Mature content
Suicide :icontheperfumedprince:ThePerfumedPrince 4 36
Literature
Remorse
     We walked back through the sea of dead.  I was used to the stench by now, having lived in it for days.  These 2 men, these young soldiers, disgusted by my cannibalism, walked with their noses in their shirts.  They wanted to see the woman and child that I had found.  My wife, my daughter.  They had told me a story, about brothers, about an assassin, about war for all the wrong reasons.  How did I survive, I wondered again.  Did I manage to kill both brothers?  Was the death of my family worth it?  Never, but I hoped against hope that I finished the job.  Maybe these men could tell me the rest of the story.
     We reached the woman and child, and eyes watering, I pointed them out.  "This is your wife and daughter," one of them asked.
     "Yes."
     "You are absolutely sure
:iconCoren412:Coren412
:iconcoren412:Coren412 2 0
Literature
feed me.tell me more lies
will he whisper sweet nothings in my ear?
tell me all the things I want to hear
love me, hold me, then toss me aside
getting past his foolish pride
will he whisper the sweet bitter truth
an adult in love with the impossible youth
your time is coming, mines just begun
so are we living in the future fun
hit me, hurt me, knock me down
id rather you do that- then fuck around
love me if you care
I really dont care
your lying to me is more than I bare
:iconBlackShady101:BlackShady101
:iconblackshady101:BlackShady101 3 0
Literature
Musing
Lai stood just outside the doors of Evolutionary Research Associates, the cool, subtle hint of winter blowing gently from the east, somehow working its way through the many layers and precautions that the humans had erected to keep them safe from the frigid enviroment. It seemed nice to get away from the harsh lighting of the lab enviroment for the softer glow of the distant setting sun...nice to see the snow on the horizon in contrast with the stark white of walls and examination tables. Though it was beyond the Land and Air Inspector's capabilities to measure this new place emotionally, even she couldn't deny the fact that beyond Settlement 211...the world looked natural.
Or whatever passed as "natural" and "normal" these days.
It had been several days since Lai had fled here with three other genetically improved humans (or imps); along with their collaborative owner Felix. Their home of Pristine Labs had been taken over by the ILG, an anti-human imp group led by the cruel yet
:iconQuillandScroll94:QuillandScroll94
:iconquillandscroll94:QuillandScroll94 4 2
Literature
Excuse me if I'm different
Excuse me If I'm different
If my clothes aren't popular
If I sing and dance as I walk
If I know the lyrics to a Korean song
Excuse me if I wear skirts all the time
If I like web comics
And if I'm smarter than you
If I act but don't go out for plays
If my hobbies include writing
If I love Asian culture
And If I am the black sheep in the crowd
If I do I what I want
Pardon if I voulez-vous
Just as well
As I
Speak our words
No matter what you say
I won't change my way
I'll stay the same
Smarter than you
I'm sorry that you don't like it
But I do what I must
Even if it means
Killing you
Everything I do
I do for freedom
No
For life to live
If I cannot live
As who I am
Then I may as well be
Dead
Excuse me if I'm different
But I don't really care
I am what I am
You can't change it
So pardon me If I Voulez-vous
And like Asian culture
And to sing and dance as I walk
Excuse me if I'm who I am
But I won't change for you
:iconpotterfangirl13:potterfangirl13
:iconpotterfangirl13:potterfangirl13 4 4

Activity


Hey guys! Incase any of you are actually curious why I'm never around these days, I have several things going on right now.

My fiance dumped me a few months ago, my grandpa died earlier this year, and my depression is at an all time low. 

To be honest I've never actually felt this alone before. I'm to the point where I feel disembodied. Like I know this is my life, the things around me are real, but I don't feel grounded, and this doesn't feel real. Dreams are more real to me..

I'm honestly feeling like I'll never be good enough for anything. I'm moving in two weeks. And I just feel so lost.

You ever just feel like you need to get away and be rescued?

deviantID

wolfdemonlover20's Profile Picture
wolfdemonlover20
Jasmine Barnes
Artist
United States
Hewwwo, my name is Jasmine. I'm 18 years old. I write both poems and stories. I post my poems on this site and my stories on www.wattpad.com/user/JasmineNi…

Please read some of my stories on that site ^^
I'm looking for feedback and ways to improve my writing skills.

Please be aware that everything I post is rough, unedited and lacking some detail but I do go back and fix when I have the time.

I'm nice, and very caring. I can be moody but not too bad. I like reading, writing, dancing , singing, and just hanging out with friends and doing random things. I'm pretty outgoing too :3

I am here for anyone who needs someone to listen or to talk to.

If you want to know anything else just ask :)
Interests

Comments


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:iconisasongs:
isasongs Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for the fav
Reply
:iconwolfdemonlover20:
wolfdemonlover20 Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2014
No problem
Reply
:iconthelibertasleague:
TheLibertasLeague Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for joining EpicMuse!
Reply
:iconwolfdemonlover20:
wolfdemonlover20 Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2013
Thank you for accepting me!
Reply
:iconthelibertasleague:
TheLibertasLeague Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Of course!
Reply
:iconjay-m-0321:
Jay-M-0321 Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much for the favorite on my poem!

Tell Meghan I said hi :D
Reply
:iconwolfdemonlover20:
wolfdemonlover20 Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2013
No problem. Meghan says she misses you.
Reply
:iconkay-march:
Kay-March Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012
Thank you for the apprecition and fav on my writings. :iconballoonplz:
Feel free to come to my gallery if you feel like it and read some more, you'll be most welcome.
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:iconsealboyno1:
Sealboyno1 Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Absolutely amazing for the Favourite! Thank you! I shall keep on writing, for these give me inspiration to continue! :dummy:
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:iconluckystar1124:
luckystar1124 Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2012  Student Writer
Thanks for the fav!
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