My little brother was always bigger than me. Even when he was short in stature, his heart was so damn big. But no matter how big he got, and no matter how much he loved, he remained insecure. And we layered too much pressure on him.
He was the golden child. He was a straight edge, refusing drink or smoke. He was the greatest dancer I never saw in action. I'm told that college girls wanted to dance with him because of how tall, handsome, and quick-footed he was. I believe it. But I was too socially anxious and shy to expose myself to those dances... I only saw him dance when he was little.
Jimmy shot himself yesterday. I was evacuating from a fire in the Davis Mountains, so I had no cellphone or wi-fi service, but it didn't matter. Jimmy left no note and he didn't reach out to anyone. He simply got off the bus, dropped his stuff, and left us. All evidence points to his death happening within an hour of when I fell asleep after an all-nighter of fire watching and evacuation.
He was only a month away from early graduation. He was going to move here. He was only a month away from his birthday.
There are two projects he helped me plan. He helped me plan my magnum opus, and he helped me plan a Gears of War fan comic. I'm currently trying to pitch the Gears fan comic to The Coalition, in honor of Jimmy's memory. I just wished I'd pitched it sooner. But I wish a thousand things now. And it's all just wind.
I miss you, Jimmy. I love you. Everything I do has been for you, and that won't ever change.
To everyone out there: please hold the ones you love.
I'm just glad we told each other "I love you" the last time we saw each other. And we talked every day, if only on Facebook messenger. But nothing is enough. I've just got to draw these comics. For him. That and my friends are the only things keeping me going.
Please remember Jimmy. He was the purest soul. But this world was too cruel for such integrity.i.imgur.com/aRJbCsa.jpgi.imgur.com/oUiynyN.jpgi.imgur.com/R02j6Q1.jpgi.imgur.com/GCa4WGD.jpg