Flash Prompts 2016 4th: Glinting

Deviation Actions

WindySilver's avatar

Literature Text

Moon glinted off broken glass.

Alexander's arms trembled worse than ever before, drops of blood falling down on his skin. There was his friend's body even though it should not be, he had not been there. Heartbeat feeling erratic, the young man jumped to his feet and dashed out, colors bleeding out of the darkening rooms. Or was it his eyes' color sight bleeding away?

Moon glinted off missing glass. Alexander felt like the continuous glinting was burning his eyes out of his head, strength of the sun fading out when the night prevailed.

"I have won, haven't I?" the dark voice came at the screaming man, having now caught him with delight.

"Now you cannot escape me."

And here we have a new flash prompt. I enjoyed this, really, although the second part was rather difficult. Actually this is about an upcoming character in Exceptional Jedi, so I'll put this to EJ category and timeline. Revised 29.3.2018.

The requirements:
Bullet; Red ELEMENT 1:
You story should open with a narrative hook to grab the reader's attention.
Check. Snatched the beginning from the showing vs. telling link. :devilish:

Bullet; Red ELEMENT 2:
Your main character must be in the process of losing their mind. Whether it's from garden variety insanity, memory loss, or something else more/less sinister, it is starting to effect their perception of reality, and there's no way to be sure that anything is what it seems.
Check. Alexander's losing his mind and no one's stopping it.

Bullet; Red ELEMENT 3:
The catch is that you cannot explicitly tell us that the character is losing their mind, instead you have to show it through their actions, descriptions and internal voice. See here for more information on showing vs telling.
Check. Showed weird shit there. XD

119 words.

Unusual to me, I'm putting this to horror category. Wtf is this? It just feels like it should be there.

This story (c) Me
© 2016 - 2023 WindySilver
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KiriHearts's avatar
I was a little confused by this line: "Or was it his eyes' color sight bleeding away?" I pictured him losing his eye color and ending up with white eyes, but reading it through again I'm not sure that was what you intended. It was pretty vivid, though XD

But I liked the suspense and the opening line here. Nice! :)