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By windfalcon   |   Watch
Published: October 21, 2015
© 2015 - 2019 windfalcon
A personal piece. It's so hard to put a feeling or emotion in visual form, but this accomplishes maybe a little of what's been going on. Dealing with a lot of feelings of self-loathing and feeling worthless and flawed. Nothing can be as I want or need it to be - there are always parts missing. Usually those parts are my own shortcomings. I feel subhuman at times, like everyone else is what a human is supposed to be and I'm stunted. A "just that kind of person..." that is always put second by instinct. Child-level, but repulsive in an adult body.

Watercolor and graphite, 9X12 inches
Image size
713x950px 335.25 KB
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Comments39
anonymous's avatar
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lulumarliah's avatar
lulumarliahProfessional Interface Designer
cool
SiennaBlue's avatar
SiennaBlueHobbyist General Artist
This is very moving.  While I can never know exactly how it feels to be you, I do recognize many of my own feelings about myself in what you wrote.  What I do know, without doubt, is that you are INCREDIBLY talented and creative.  I wish you Healing and Wholeness.  :heart:
Rhaensong's avatar
Well put, SiennaBlue. I struggle and stumble on a very similar Path some days. I add only... (((HUGS))) to you both. 
Eledhwen-Arts's avatar
Eledhwen-ArtsHobbyist Digital Artist
This is a wonderful piece of art, be sure about that ! 
waterhealing's avatar
waterhealingHobbyist Traditional Artist
:heart:
GoodSpiritWolf's avatar
GoodSpiritWolfProfessional Artisan Crafter
You are what you show the world - and I would say you are a beautiful wise soul - who will always return itself to center. Any human being who can express beauty in the way that you do is truly an amazing creation to behold. After 66 years on earth I still have some of the same moments - but then I say "aw fuckit, got to move on here, got stuff to do." Warmest regards, David
windfalcon's avatar
windfalconProfessional Traditional Artist
Thank you :)
bodequam's avatar
bodequamProfessional Traditional Artist
my favorite bird! ever since i was little.
windfalcon's avatar
windfalconProfessional Traditional Artist
Me too :)
LovelyLadyGray's avatar
LovelyLadyGrayProfessional Artisan Crafter
Many many hugs to you as a fellow artist who loves birds, the endless beauty of Nature, and your sense of humor just makes me smile.  I understand how it is to feel to feel lonely, also there are times when I doubt my skills for creating art, and with encouragement from friends, and family one is never alone.  You tap into whatever you're thinking or feeling which just adds many interesting layers to your absolutely gorgeous watercolor paintings, Brenda.  Right now I'm pretty close to getting a 9" x 12" watercolor painting of a Swedish fairy ring that I drew in August 2010 during a trip.  So fun! ^U^

Your leather masks bring back a lot of very happy memories when I made masks out of paper mache all those years ago.  We artists are just a tad more complicated than non-artist people due to the Creative Process.  I haven't been drawing much so my class notes for my tough Social Science class are full of tiny 1" ball-point pen sketches that I'm hoping to enlarge. 

We all have flaws: my main problem was being intimidated by perspective for YEARS until a demo of breaking down the shapes of how to draw buildings gave me such a thrilled feeling of learning something new, and to create a diptych of the cityscape of England with a Heraldic wolf-bird gargoyle at night and a lovely British human woman on the daytime part.  It's in acrylics, and boy having a new art challenge is a pretty good way to just let go, and have a blast.  :hug: =D 
Teavian's avatar
TeavianStudent Digital Artist
I've been dealing with feelings like that too for ages...they suck so much. But you're a really awesome person. You do so many amazing things too. Being flawed is good for all of us, because we can keep learning and growing.
Celestial-Rainstorm's avatar
Celestial-RainstormHobbyist General Artist
This is simply amazing. Your talent never ceases to amaze me. 
Deserti's avatar
Deserti Digital Artist
Beautiful piece. I want to let you know that your feelings were communicated flawlessly through the painting as I could determine the nature of your struggle before even reading the description. Fantastic work
MEQuick's avatar
MEQuickStudent Traditional Artist
Isn't art a beautiful thing though, in that it allows you to express yourself and vent some of those pent-up feelings onto paper with the stroke of a brush?
Auua-Ytjoml's avatar
Auua-YtjomlHobbyist General Artist
From what I know of you through how you express yourself I think you are a wonderful person. No one is absolutely perfect; the flip side of that saying is that everyone has shortcomings. They doesn't make you less human, they makes you more so! 
With everyone pretending that they're feeling AOK, it makes feeling like you are right now, even more lonely. I know I've felt like I must be the only one who doesn't- or can't- or isn't- but the truth is we're never alone. YOU'RE never alone. 
At the very least you have a whole herd of people who get warm fuzzies just waiting to learn more about you and your artwork. Keep on trying! We love you!Hug 
Matahastic's avatar
MatahasticHobbyist General Artist
Just beautiful! This piece is very realistic-looking and so much lovely detail, also on that leaves!
Yet for your amazing artwork you shouldn't feel worthless because it's really stunning and beautiful!
Lyrak's avatar
Lyrak Traditional Artist
I... think I know this feeling. May or may not be for the same or even similar reasons, but... both the image and the description thereof...
StoryMaker91's avatar
StoryMaker91Hobbyist
We are all of us broken, but also, we are all of us loved and cherished. 
ScarabsCorner's avatar
ScarabsCornerHobbyist Traditional Artist
Beautiful piece I send :huggle:
skiesofchaos's avatar
skiesofchaosProfessional Photographer
Gentle hugs my friend, this is truly an emotive and expressive work that tears at the soul.
LyraGuppi's avatar
I might not be able to help very much, but I'll definitely say you're not worthless, nor alone with those feelings. c: The drawing is beautiful, btw, great job.
rebeccawangart's avatar
rebeccawangartProfessional Traditional Artist
I agree with what everyone else has said above, and I could not add anything without repeating what has already been said.  Just know you are not alone, and a lot of people feel that way sometimes. I just hope whatever is making you feel worthless stops soon and you feel better about yourself.
Scorpionlina's avatar
This is such a beutiful work!!
It is really impressive!!

I am sorry for what you feel ... 
anonymous's avatar
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