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Wilpan's avatar

Muslim Manga Month 2 - Page3

By Wilpan
Submit for MMM contest in :iconmuslim-manga: month 2
Really bad in English dialogue, need more critique

Tittle : Ima
Episode : Pork
Page : 3 of 4
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AndSoWeCreate's avatar
You don't need to say "a pork." It is perfectly fine to just say "Why didn't you buy pork" (which is the correct way to phrase the sentence)

The next part should be phrased " Pork is one of the foods that is bad for our health." (or simply "pork is bad for us.") The next part should be phrased "In pork there are parasitic worms and also dirt."

The next part should be phrased like this: "It is because pork is haraam.

In the next part instead of saying "many badness" you simply would say something like "there are many bad things like......."

Like I said before, your work is great and I hope I don't sound mean in correcting you. I just wanted to help = )
Wilpan's avatar
wow, thanks for help :D
no, no, i'm not angry or sounds like hate you because correcting me
but i'm happy there is someone care about my art, and informing what must i correct with the right of language structure (i hope you can understand with this cruel sentences, haha)
AndSoWeCreate's avatar
Well, I am glad to help and I respect your willingness to even post in another language. I speak a small amount of Spanish but I would never be brave enough to try and post in it!
Wilpan's avatar
hahaha, don't be so poor, girl! :D