literature

The Defense of Gawain (Fragment 1)

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January 24, 2014
The Defense of Gawain (Fragment 1) by williamszm
Featured by inknalcohol
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Literature Text

He brushed his wavy hair from his pale face
Just like his horse was shaking off the flies
While following behind. Their limping pace

Was slow, although the city rang with cries
Surprised from friends who thought that he was dead--
But still his head slumped down, and still his eyes

And clammy cheeks were flushed with streaking red,
Though they were running, dashing to his side.
And then his young brother, half-laughing, said,

"Oh god, I thought--you know we thought you died?
That awful task--you left, you rode away--
And then did not come back. Oh, how I cried!

I thought you died. On last year's new-year's day
A year since you had left, they all agreed
You must have failed your quest, but I said nay--

I knew my brother Gawain would succeed
Although it seemed to all impossible.
But you did not come back, and I concede

I thought you died." And then his voice sunk low
From where it had been shouting in delight,
And then he said: "But brother, may I know--

Your hair is snarled, unkempt--your eyes are bright
As if with tears; Your horse seems wounded too.
Your awful task--was it so hard a fight

That still some evil lingers over you?
And now I make it worse! I cannot know
The torments of the hells you have walked through

But surely I have sense 'nough to forgo
This questioning. Brother, please answer me!
Each second of your silence is a blow

Against my heart, which only wants to see
The brother that I love alive and well."
And all the crowd was waiting quietly

To hear Gawain's reply, to hear him tell
Of his heroic deeds, for he of old
Would often sing of them. But his head fell

And he drew his limbs closer, as if cold
Was creeping up along his silver mail,
And murmured that his story he would hold

Until the King himself asked for the tale.
So this is the beginning of the Arthurian poem I promised, and have been working on for quite some time now. Currently I have close to 40 stanzas completed, and I still haven't actually gotten to the main story of the poem. So I doubt I will post it all here, but here is at least a portion of what I have done!

This poem is basically influenced from two primary sources--"Gawain and the Green Knight" and Morris' "Defence of Guenevere". It will probably make more sense if you've read "Gawain and the Green Knight", at least, but even if you haven't I would really, really appreciate any feedback you might have. This is my longest poem and the first really telling a story. I would like help.

So some questions:
First impressions of Gawain?
Of his brother?
Meter issues? (I know there are some)
Do you like it thus far?
Anything else, at all? Any comments/critiques would be so helpful!

Thank you!
© 2012 - 2024 williamszm
Comments45
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inknalcohol's avatar
:star::star::star::star: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Vision
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Originality
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Technique
:star::star::star::star::star: Impact

Wow! That's all I can say right now.

I've always been a fan of the legends around King Arthur and his Knights. The stories capture you and hold your attention because you're easily able to root for them. You want to see the knights succeed in whatever their task is.

And you do not fail in accomplishing this.

Your description of his appearance as he returns captures my attention right out of the gates. It's obvious he's been through hell and back and I wanna know the story.

The way the brother rushes up and greets Gawain is exactly what you'd expect of a younger sibling that never gave up on seeing his older brother again!

And the end. Oh, the end. It's truly evil because I wanna know what happened. I can't wait for the next part.