Anime Studio Dorms: The Quest for Helium
Sonic the Hedgehog and all related characters are copyright Sega, Sonic Team, Archie and Dic
Full Metal Alchemist and all related characters are copyright Hiromu Arakawa/Square Enix
Star Fox and all related characters are copyright Nintendo.
South Park and all related characters are copyright Comedy Central.
Evangelion and all related characters are copyright Gainax.
YuGiOh and all related characters are copyright Kazuki Takashi
All jokes used in this story are copyright their rightful owners. Including illwillpress himself.
The Characters Andrew Fragale and Jake Larson are copyright myself.
Based off of ideas from TheWax, SonicRocksMySocks, Alvin Earthworm, and Wonchop.
Somebody correct me when I say this, but I think this is funnier in a flash movie than a
fanfic. Given the info, I was thinking, "Why not screw around with it a bit? Annoy the
residents with a helium voice?" I was also thinking of adding some other humor elements
into this fic.
(We now see Sonic, Shadow, and Edward chatting about how their roles were in flash movies)
Sonic: Believe it or not, the 2nd theme of your show was used in a variation of someone else's
Sonic: Yeah. As it turns out, it was almost perfect.
(We see Andrew bust in with anticipation)
Andrew: (panting) Guys... I just had... an idea...
Shadow: Andrew, catch your breath first before you explain your ideas. (thinking) I know
I'm going to regret that.
Andrew: (breathing normally) Now. How about we screw around with the residents
of the dorm by using helium voices?
Sonic: Whoa, whoa, whoa. You mean try to get ourselves in danger with helium in our lungs?
Sonic: Well, why don't you try waking up? Anyways, where did you get the idea?
Andrew: Various flash movies. 5 of them at least.
Edward: By any chance did one of them involve the helium singer singing The Lollipop Guild?
Andrew: Yeah. So?
Edward: There is no way you are doing this to one of us!
Andrew: Actually, I was thinking of annoying either Panther or Leon with a Wizard of Oz refrence.
Sonic: Now you're thinking! I still haven't forgiven Panther for trying to cop a feel on Sally.
Shadow: Same here, Sonic. Didn't he "accidentally" bump into Mina in the chest area a while
Sonic: You're still fried about that?
Edward: Why not Leon? I haven't seen him ever since I neutered him for that shrimp comment.
(Sonic, Shadow, and Andrew all look at him strangely)
Andrew: You can't just neuter somebody for calling you a shrimp.
Edward: (eyes turn dark) WHO ARE YOU CALLING SOMEBODY THAT CAN'T BE SEEN EVEN
WITH A MICROSOPE?!?!?!
Andrew: Take it easy! I never called you anything! I'm just saying that you can't give anybody a vasectomy because they called you... something.
Edward: (regains his sanity) Oh.
Andrew: Let's see if we can find anything in the supplies area.
(And so, Andrew, Edward, Shadow, and Sonic go into the hallways in search for some helium.
Little did they know that they were about to get...)
All four: (pointing in compass directions) I think it's that way!
(completely lost. We now see them near the cafeteria)
Andrew: I swear to God, this place is like a fricking labryinth every time I go through these halls!
Shadow: (sarcastic) Congratulations, Andrew. You just found the secret theme of the day!
Andrew: Oh put a sock in it. (notices a blue fox) Hi, Jake.
Jake: Hello, Andrew. (notices the group) I see you've gotten lost. Where are you guys going?
Sonic: Supply room. We were thinking of annoying the hell out of Panther and Leon with helium.
Jake: Do tell. We also have voodoo dolls of the residents just in case of revenge.
Andrew: (thinking) Voodoo dolls? (speaking) I take it you guys don't take things lightly around
here. Do you think you could make me a voodoo doll out of either Jack Thompson, Hilary Clinton,
Howard Dean, John Kerry, or Eric Bauman?
Jake: Sorry, Andrew. Residents only. If we were to abolish that rule, we would've made one with the
likeness of Tony Blaire.
Andrew: (thinking) Rats. (speaking) Could you at least direct us to the supply room?
Jake: Sure thing. (starts to lead) But only if you're ready to face the terror of what's guarding it,
because death awaits you with big pointy teeth! (puts fingers in front of nose as if he's a rabid bucktooth)
Andrew: Bit of an eccentric performance, don't you think?
(And so, Andrew, Edward, Sonic, and Shadow, led by Jake, head on down to the supply room only to see a
cave in front of the door with many bones on the ground)
Andrew: Right. We better make a break for the supply room before the beast comes.
Jake: (notices something) Too late!
(They all look upon to see... a rabbit?)
Sonic: What? Is it behind the rabbit?
Andrew and Jake: It is the rabbit.
Shadow: What? You guys are afraid of just a tiny little rabbit?
Andrew: (faking a Scottish accent) That's not just any rabbit, laddie! That is a killer!
Edward: Oh really, and how are you going to prove that?
Andrew and Jake: Hmm...
(Scene is set outside the supply room, Kenny is just walking by and just got grabbed by
Andrew and Jake)
Kenny: <What are you guys doing? Put me down!>
Jake: Sorry, Kenny. We just need to prove these three wrong here.
Andrew: Alright. On the count of three, we throw him to the rabbit.
Andrew and Jake: THREE!!! (throws Kenny towards the rabbit)
Kenny: <When I get revived, I'll--> (gets his head gnawed off by the rabbit)
Sonic: Oh my God! It killed Kenny!
Edward: You bastard!
Shadow: We'd best not risk a frontal assault. That rabbit's dynamite.
Andrew: Let's taunt it. It will become so cross, it'll make a mistake.
Jake: Oh really? And how are we supposed to do that?
Andrew: Let's check the armory.
(Andrew and the gang head towards the armory and start looking in the drawers)
Andrew: Lets see... Bombs. (looks inside the drawer) Bomberman's, normal... The heck?
(picks up something) What's a banana doing in the bomb compartment?
Jake: DON'T TOUCH THAT!!!
Banana: <LNXSQENA!> (A/n: That's what it sounds like to me, so get off my case.)
(explodes, leaving Andrew charred)
Jake: That was a banana bomb. Once it makes that sound, it explodes 50% of the time.
Andrew: And the other 50?
Jake: Dances to the tune of Peanut Butter Jelly and at the end, it explodes.
(At another end)
Shadow: What about this one? (holds up a rocket launcher from the Doom Series)
Sonic: We don't want to blow up the whole dorm, Shadow! (thinking) Sheesh. Ever
since the new game was released, Shadow thinks he needs a bigger gun. When
can he learn he doesn't need a gun? (speaking) Anything, Edward?
Edward: Nothing in the glove compartment that says "Grenade Alchemy"
(Back at the other end)
Andrew: What about the compartment that says grenades on it?
Jake: Why not? (opens the compartment) Bingo! The grenades galore!
(Back to the supply room exterior)
Andrew: Alright. (pulls the pin) One, two, three! (throws the grenade, it lands near the rabbit,
and explodes) Let's check inside the supply room.
(As it turns out the supply room is a big museum where anything and everything is stored.
Andrew tries to look for the helium in the balloon section)
Andrew: (thinking) Where are the helium tanks? I'm looking for a way to annoy characters
in my spare time. (notices something) Bingo! Helium tanks! Lets see... (gets a balloon,
pumps helium in it, ties it, puts it against his lips, inhales, and speaks like a chipmunk)
Wow... Huh? Is that my voice? Lets see... (sings) Ding dong! The witch is dead! Which
old witch? The Wicked Witch! Ding dong! The wicked witch is dead! (Notices Jake backing
away slowly) Don't knock it till you've tried it pal. (hands Jake the balloon)
Jake: Okay... (inhales the ballon, speaks like a chipmunk) Heh, that was easy! Now let's find
either Panther or Leon and get this over with. And I know just the place to do it from!
Leon: ...Ever since I went on that Disneyland ride, I've had this terrible fear of midgets and that song...
That song! Why did it have to be that repetitive, irritating song?!?!?
(A/n: You're not alone, Leon. You're not alone. Makes me feel sorry that I have to do this to him)
Panther: Look, you have to conquer your fear of the South Park kids or else it'll haunt you till the day
Leon: I know that. It's just...
Panther: But nothing, Leon! You are going to get on that high horse and... (notices something) My woman
senses are tingling. (leaves in a hurry)
Leon: Panther! (hears that familiar tune, thinking) Fine time for him to go woman hunting at a time like this!
Andrew and Jake: (over the intercom, still in helium voices. Yes, they're singing that song) It's a world of
love, etc. (A/n: bite me, I don't know the words)
Leon: (thinking) Must resist... must... resist... (speaking) AAAAHHHHH! MIDGETS ARE TAKING OVER
Edward: (who wasn't far behind) WHO ARE YOU CALLING A MUNCHKIN?!?!?!?! GET BACK HERE, YOU
(From the security guard's post)
Jake: (in normal voice) Ah, man that was worth it!
Andrew: (in normal voice) I did not know Leon had a fear of midgets! But it was worth it to see the
look on his face! He looked like he had a 40 pound watermelon in his colon!
Jake: That just goes to show you, there's never a dull moment here. (notices something on one of the
monitors) Oh for the love of God! He's at it again!
Andrew: Who? Panther?
Jake: Yes. And he's in the lingere store ogling Krystal again. Why can't he leave my sister alone?
Andrew: Well, Katt's with her, and that's double trouble when Falco finds out.
Jake: Not necessarily. Watch...
(At the Victoria's Secret...)
Krystal: (notices brainwaves) Panther's passing as a security guard again.
Katt: That troublemaker is at it again, isn't he? I'm suprised he hasn't burst when he came in.
(from outside the store)
Fox: What? Are you serious, Jake?
Jake: (over cell phone) Yes, he's standing like a security guard while trying to stare at her hindquarters.
Katt's with her as well.
Falco: Well she's in good hands, then.
Fox: Are you serious, Falco? There's no way I would let Krystal even near that letch! Why are you so calm?
Falco: Because Katt has a way of getting rid of him. Watch...
(Back in the store)
Katt: (whispering) I'm going to screw around with him and see if his hormones would take over or not.
Just stay right here and don't move.
Krystal: Be careful...
Katt: I will.
Katt: (teenage voice) Excuse me...
Panther: (notices Katt in a push-up bra and a thong, is visibly nervous) Um... Can I help you?
Katt: Yes. How do I look in this?
Panther: Um... You look great, now move along.
Katt: What about the push-up bra? Does it make me a little busty?
Panther: Um... yes, now...
Katt: What about this? Does this thong go up my ass too much?
Panther: Um... I couldn't say... Now move along. You're making my willie hurt.
Katt: But wait!
Panther: For the love of God, move along!
Katt: I want you to look... closer...
Panther: AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (head blows off)
Andrew: Holy shit!
Falco: (thinking) I knew she could do it!
Krystal: (turns around only to see a headless corpse with Katt standing in front of it) You are good.
Katt: I told you I was careful.
Krystal: Maybe you could teach me how to do that sometime.
Katt: Sometime, but remember, it doesn't work on the boyfriend.
Krystal: I will.
(Back in the guard's post)
Andrew: Damn she's good!
Jake: Yes. I knew she could get rid of him. Too bad he could only get revived once every week.
Andrew: Why, so the vicious cycle could go all over again?
Jake: Unfortunately, yes. (checks watch) And it's lunchtime, too.
Andrew: Alrighty then. Let's head down to the cafeteria.
(They walk out of the Guard room)
Jake: Why? I was about to pay money off at the food court.
Andrew: Can I come?
Jake: Why not? I could use a partner in crime.
Andrew: Great. Now let's go! (starts to run, but Jake grabs him)
Jake: I think it's best if you follow me. (leads the way, Andrew follows)
Sonic: (just caught up) Wait up!
Shadow: Yeah, I want to see if the special is up!
(and so the gang head towards the food court, but one can only wonder...)
Andrew: (thinking) Man, Chris, Kawrou, and Kuri, if you could only see me now.
(Speaking of whom, what have they been doing when Andrew was busy?)
Chris: I'm gonna win this race!
Kawrou: Fat chance, Thorndyke! There's no way that the Blue Falcon
can defeat the Blood Hawk!
Chris: We'll just see about that!
(As for Kuri...)
Kuri: (outfitted with Kuriboh-sized drink helmet with a bowl of popcorn)
<Hey, it beats watching wrestling any day!>
(iris out on Kuri's face...)