literature

RIP

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Literature Text

Black and gray, black and gray
He lives in a world
Black and gray, black and gray
In a world so cold, in a world so absurd

Black and gray, black and gray
he saw me once, thought I was cool
I turn out to be the high light to his gray days
oh the laughs we had, never turned blue

friends we were
Friends, I made sure
Black and gray black and gray
I use to be the highlight to his solitary days

gone where those happy days
Gone were those memories
Gone to where the sunshine threw dark gray
Bomb away, bomb away

'killings, ' he wrote to me, 'screaming and torture'
Black and gray black and gray
'always never ending nightmares'
Wished he could see the highlight to his dark days

Wondered when it will end
For you to come back, eyes glazed, but with glee
My confessions will not descend
That I wanted us to be

Dreaming, terrifying nightmares
Shooting, killing boom boom boom
The dead stand and stare
Saluting in their doom

War, despicable war
Color of red
Blood everywhere
Now my love is dead

Black and gray, black and gray
He lives in a world
Black and gray black and gray
In a world so cold, in a world so absurd
Whats the meaning of war? is it to serve for our country? why would anyone serve a counrty who puts everyone at risk for selfish reasons and neglectic thoughts?
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NathanielFlyingOwl's avatar
I know this seems incredibly anal, but it is my burden to point these things out and it is my attempt to help out. :)

Fourth and thirty-sixth line: the second "world" is lacking the "r", take the "e" out of "absurd"
Seventh line: replace "turn out" with "become"
Eighth line: replace "head" with "had"
Thirteenth line: replace "where" with "were"
Fourteenth line: take out the thrid "m" in "memories"
Fifteenth line: space between "sun" and "shines", should be "through", not "threw"
Twenty-third line: should be "descend",not "decend"
Twenty-fifth line: should be "terrifying" not "terriffing"
Twenty-eighth line: should be "their", instead of "there"
Thirty-first line: no space between "every" and "where"