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About Varied / Hobbyist RaraFemale/United States Recent Activity
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Literature
Worrisome inner thoughts
I am fraught with worry that I will not react in time.
I am petrified with fear that I will freeze up and stare blankly in the face of death.
Stubbornly I retract that frenzied feeling before it drives me insane.
Harshly I tell myself to harden up.
I'm worried I don't have enough time.
I stumble over my own feelings, and struggle to find meaning in my own life.
I'm just trying to stay sane.
Though, it's just a matter of time before I finally break myself down.
:iconwhatami94:whatami94
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(MMD/digital) Yuuka Kazami ((touhou project)) by whatami94 (MMD/digital) Yuuka Kazami ((touhou project)) :iconwhatami94:whatami94 1 1 Betha (Forget Already) by whatami94 Betha (Forget Already) :iconwhatami94:whatami94 1 2 Forget Already (RPG Maker 2k3) by whatami94 Forget Already (RPG Maker 2k3) :iconwhatami94:whatami94 0 6 Diedre (OC) from Forget Already (RPGmaker2k3game) by whatami94 Diedre (OC) from Forget Already (RPGmaker2k3game) :iconwhatami94:whatami94 1 7 O'my eyes that burn ((OMETB)) by whatami94 O'my eyes that burn ((OMETB)) :iconwhatami94:whatami94 0 1 Base For 001 by whatami94 Base For 001 :iconwhatami94:whatami94 0 0
Literature
Vent Poem 2
When will this stupid dream end already!?!
I want to return to a more fantasy life again.
One where I could do whatever I wanted,
where I could follow the lines of the inner workings of my own twisted into a pretzel heart.
I want to be able to focus on something that could make ME happy,
not the money that would make others happy.
I JUST WANT TO GET AWAY!
I need the emotional attachment of my family, but not their scorn for not getting something I can never rightfully earn myself.
They say I can do great things, I used to believe them, but now....of course I've had to rethink all I've ever really known.
I can't be special enough for someone to care about me.
I mean it! Stupid person in my head, get out already!!!!
I can't choose you from the logic side of my heart.
I WANT to be soulless, so I can be rich for my family.
It's not worth it to do anything that makes me happy!
I'm not good enough, and it's my fault!
I'm not proud anymore; I'm only scared o
:iconwhatami94:whatami94
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Literature
Vent poem 1
Is my heart withered?
I do not understand the lies I speak...
as they always come as easy as truth.
One fatal mistake brought my world down all around me.
I still feel the hole in my heart.
It's hard to sleep knowing how good I can screw up.
I have to beg or I won't run fast enough...
I might miss my chance and/or screw it all up again.
It's going to come back and bite me hard again...
after all, I'm a little slug like I always was.
Without that cute little routine, I am nothing.
Not even worth noting anymore.
I try to tell myself not to give up, but it feels weird.
I'm alone anyway...I can't be happy, so why bother?
Not like I'll amount to anything, so why try?
Do they hate me?
Am I really that stupid?
Will I ever really recover from my heart being withered?
:iconwhatami94:whatami94
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Echo Dawn (OC from Soul Item by whatami94 Echo Dawn (OC from Soul Item :iconwhatami94:whatami94 0 0
Literature
Monologue with two crazy people
Wait for it...wait for it...
Oh you lost it! Are you going to try again?
The mess of this life draws you in and consumes you.
But why?
I always thought, that if it came to be, that I would be prepared.
Look at me now though: foolish and stupid.
When the hard times come, character is revealed.
Though, now that I think about it: what do I reveal about myself?
Take two steps back on this problem, and think again.
It's really, not what you are doing now, but what you should have been doing.
When the calm crept across these waters, what did you do?
Nothing.
You are what you show, and what you show is transparent:
You are worth nothing unless you bleed.
What do you want from me?
Society? Men? Women? Mom? Dad? Myself?
Why can't I please all of you with my two moods?
Why must there be two ways of looking at this?
I feel like a person tied to two scared horses, ready to sprint.
I will never be pitted, or saved for that matter, unless I cry out for help.
I suppose I mean: why didn't you tell me
:iconwhatami94:whatami94
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UTAU MMD: Forsetti (update v0.2) by whatami94 UTAU MMD: Forsetti (update v0.2) :iconwhatami94:whatami94 1 0 MMD NC: O'my eyes that burn by whatami94 MMD NC: O'my eyes that burn :iconwhatami94:whatami94 4 0 UTAU MMD NC: Forsetti by whatami94 UTAU MMD NC: Forsetti :iconwhatami94:whatami94 6 0 UTAU NC: O'my eyes that burn [OMETB] by whatami94 UTAU NC: O'my eyes that burn [OMETB] :iconwhatami94:whatami94 0 0 If you close your eyes... by whatami94 If you close your eyes... :iconwhatami94:whatami94 0 0
The awkward moment when you realize that the rest of my gallery isn't like this.

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whatami94
Rara
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
I not really that good of a paint and drawing kind of artist, but I love writing poetry.
I've never had formal training, so I'm sorry if I suck too much for you.
(even if that means nobody comments on it. I am happy enough to get my feelings out.)


I start things and I never finish them. When I try really hard on something, it never turns out right. So, when I do things it must be instantaneous, or my perfectionism will turn it bad again.
(Leaving this grammar mistake, so I can be on the road to recovery.)

(Important to know: I don't have a twitter but I do have a photobucket...weird.)

Disclaimer: I, nor my sister, own Amnesia the Dark Descent. It belongs to Frictional Games.
We are only responsible for the fan characters, and our OOC characters.

I give permission to :iconifishould94: to use my mmd model of Forsetti.
Interests
I'm not using DA that much anymore. Yes, I know that. I don't use MMD anymore, or RPG maker...I just draw. Nothing is really really worth posting on DA because it'd be drowned out anyway. No one would care it see it, so I'm using a blog format now. FIRST MISTAKE

Forgotten Worlds
 is the blog title whatami94.blogspot.com ,
and I draw and post fiction based on my OC's. Remember Forget Already? Well...it's one of those worlds...along with a thing called Soul Coin. Remember that???? That's old, but I changed things up when I got into the Gray Garden fandom. (
Ah, but I had a wish long before that I assure you....)

I'm rambling aren't I? I'll get to the point: I'm using this blog now, so I'll keep this account up till I get tired of it.
If you want to talk to me use the contact form in the blog. (It's weird to give out my email...)

Comments


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:iconemerarudosempai:
emerarudosempai Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Hello human.
Reply
:iconwhatami94:
whatami94 Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
owo Oh a visitor....hey. owo
Reply
:iconemerarudosempai:
emerarudosempai Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Hai x3
Reply
:iconwhatami94:
whatami94 Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Dang it... >.> let me try again....

Helloos! How's it going? Uhhhh maybe I'll respond sooner so we can have an actual conversation...one day.
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconwhatami94:
whatami94 Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
.-. I just realized I'm in the Touhou fandom.....or am I?
Reply
:iconemerarudosempai:
emerarudosempai Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for the points Rara.. (/ ;o;)/ <3
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:iconwhatami94:
whatami94 Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Your welcome. I didn't need them anyway. :3
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:iconemerarudosempai:
emerarudosempai Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
DAMMIT MY FACE DEVIANTARTGNKSDLAN;GBFDGD
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:iconwhatami94:
whatami94 Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
<.<  *is judging?*
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:iconemerarudosempai:
emerarudosempai Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Pardon my rage ;-;
Reply
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