This is a parody, so don't yell at me.
Earthbound (or Mother 2) is a game about psychic powers and killing sentient coffee cups. You start out playing as Ness, a 13 year old boy with homesick issues. All he does is heal and two overpowered moves. You gotta kill the evil Giygas because he's making everything bad because... reasons.
A little bit into the game you meet the girl next... town? She's Paula, a character who basically has better PSI abilities than Ness and a demonic teddy bear. She got kidnapped by your dickwad neighbor, the Grinch of a Minch, Pokey.
Later you find Jeff, the man who can literally blow up most of the bosses with one shot. He doesn't have powers but he uses bottle rockets and laser guns. He doesn't do much else other than crash 23 flying ships.
The last guy you get is Poo, and for the one with a shitty name, he has the most character development. Poop only gets one of each item to equip, but they are too hard to get. Also he can't eat regular food.
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