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To My Bestest Boy
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lxiv. cold canvas
on a cold canvas they painted with their blades sketching pictures with their footprints sharing tales with each step 聽 聽every scene was a risk building up to a climax 聽 聽until the ground in which they stood becomes more than a rink 聽 聽more than a stage 聽 聽in that moment every turn, every movement 聽 聽 聽 聽f a l l s 聽 聽 聽 聽into 聽 聽 聽 聽place 聽 聽a portrait is made 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽from ice that crack but do not break 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽from feet that bruise but do not wear 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽from flowers that fall 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽and from flowers still held 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽a portrait is made 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽with a soulful story to tell
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five months and twenty one days
To: pansydiv (https://www.deviantart.com/pansydiv) Divya, change loves to come in drastic degrees impatient and uncaring it doesn鈥檛 wait for us to notice them im sorry, i couldn鈥檛 catch up with mine im sorry, things haven鈥檛 quite been the same im sorry that this goes for both of us my days flash forward with brute force and my weeks hurriedly grouped themselves into months please know that no matter what, it was never my intention to lose touch (but even my apologies sound trite to me) it鈥檚 been hard to feel anything at all my ceiling stares down at me like it鈥檚 imploring me to get out of bed but why would i leave when suffocation
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jealousy used to write me love letters that were sweet and lonely during the winter, she talked about presents and joyful carols by autumn she'd move on to the colorful leaves and tinted orange skies in a way, i could tell she was being considerate of me she respected my selfishness and reminded me when i needed comfort she knew about my sensitivity so she wrote to me in gentle tones my stubbornness, however, only ever saw helping hands as suicide that's why i've been secretly stealing her words to make sure i would have something to say in fear that if i remained too silent, i too would be buried in the snow but while I hid behind my scrip
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jealousy used to write me love letters that were sweet and lonely during the winter, she talked about presents and joyful carols by autumn she'd move on to the colorful leaves and tinted orange skies in a way, i could tell she was being considerate of me she respected my selfishness and reminded me when i needed comfort she knew about my sensitivity so she wrote to me in gentle tones my stubbornness, however, only ever saw helping hands as suicide that's why i've been secretly stealing her words to make sure i would have something to say in fear that if i remained too silent, i too would be buried in the snow but while I hid behind my scrip
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lxi.
6 AM 聽 聽I stir in bed, 聽 聽pulling the blankets over my head 聽 聽hating the feeling of cold bones of lead. 聽 聽(I keeps my eyes closed but I don鈥檛 go back to sleep because the truth is I don鈥檛 want to risk dreaming.) 6:05 AM 聽 聽 It鈥檚 serene. It鈥檚 desolate. The world is hushed and intact. 聽 聽There are 2 plates on the table and a mug. A wet towel hung on one of the chairs, it takes a minute to put them all away. Coffee smells good at this time and the sun is soft-spoken as I am. 9 AM 聽 聽 The house begins to awake. Footsteps are heard and the truth is still very quiet at this time. 11 AM 聽 聽 My mothers scolds
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'to be apart from a part of you'
i like people with big smiles, the way they shine through their imperfect teeth and chapped lips knowing you can't replicate their beauty i like skies of white clouds against blue atmospheres, the way the sun gives us privacy to cry with the rain i like the sound of dried leaves under my boots, the crackling of bonfires and the crickets at nights i smile at the way the city converges into fairy lights reflected on our side mirror while my dad drives me off the highway to another place for us to call home i like wiggling my toes in my shoes when i get nervous, and rubbing my fists together to keep my hands occupied i like taking pictures of my
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liii.
while i sit in my crumpled shirt, naked legs and bleached underwear i ponder about silence and solitude along with the brotherhood they share 聽 聽 聽 聽they were the flat lines in heart monitors, 聽 聽 聽 聽the shooting stars that happen behind your back 聽 聽 聽 聽the budding flowers and sleeping children 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽the world that happens while you sleep 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽and like the ticking of the clock 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽they bear a loneliness 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽that was either too loud or unnoticed
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xlix. penumbra
The moon and her omnipotent force, dictates our darkness with every phase. She possess a glow that turns 聽 聽 聽 聽raindrops into glitter 聽 聽 聽 聽bodies into shadows 聽 聽 聽 聽day into night She is humble despite having the seas at her mercy Shy and loyal, reserving her crescent smiles to her earthly lovers In her waking hours, she mothers every star in our sky, keeping each constellation is at its place. I, of all people, would know how graceful of a blessing she is. So if the moon, who thrives in the darkness, ceases to be the earth and its collective sadness can never compare to the fated loneliness of the sun who dies at every dusk just t
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xlvii. english class
聽 聽 'Why do we write?' he asks, standing up from his chair. He wasn't the same professor he was 45 minutes ago. Now he spoke more softly, almost as if he was wondering to himself. 聽 聽Almost as if I wasn't here. 聽 聽I've gotten so used to him having an answer for everything and yes, I do mean everything because this is the kind of guy who wrote a 23 paged essay on how the existence of single-ply toilet paper is a waste of resource. It is a taboo to speak of it but I still find it hard to believe that a man like this attempted to OD. 聽 聽I took a deep, quiet breath as though oxygen can prepare me for this conversation. 聽 聽'I don't know, sir
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xliv.
Today, I watched my father hit my mother for the first time. There has never been a single spot in this house to tuck myself in to escape their overheated bitter exchange of words. Even though there are many corners to this house, there are many rooms and many doors all is locked and occupied by echoes of the living proof that love is stupid. 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽Adults are too. 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽Selfish. Greedy. Exacting. 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽Predictable in their anger. 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 Destructive in their words. 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 Stupid. My calm has escaped me as I
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xxxv. needles(s)
the eyes of this city sparkle quite dimly in the light of day i'm a needle in a hay scared to be found just as another common noun 聽 聽the needle said-- 聽 聽 聽 聽won't you capitalize me? 聽 聽 聽 聽romanticize me 聽 聽 聽 聽breathe me alive 聽 聽 聽 聽in your preposterous poetry 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽i don't want to pierce anymore skin 聽 聽 聽 聽or have my tip drip with heroin 聽 聽 聽 聽i've had enough of the taste of blood 聽 聽 聽 聽and it's not the kind of rust i love 聽 聽 聽 聽put me beside thread and linen 聽 聽 聽 聽turn me into your pen 聽 聽 聽 聽cause i'd rather be sewing buttons 聽 聽 聽 聽than poking at your friends the doctor said--- fuck what the doctor said y
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xxxix. haiku
聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽Have 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽you 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽ever 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 stopped 聽 聽 聽 to 聽 聽 聽 really 聽 聽 聽 think 聽 聽 聽 about 聽 聽 聽 how 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽we 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽breath 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 in plant fart.
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xxxviii. what the poem said to the poet
i am the sa(n)dwhiches you fill with dysphoria cheesy haikus topped with sliced, indented verses you try to make a healthy meal out of me but you are a bulimic riot dumping my contents into a toilet the same way you hit 'submit' 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽you know what else you've been hitting? 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽backspace 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽now my back is bruised from your keyboard punching 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽and my spaces turned into black holes you try to fit in your laptop 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽my (yes, my) words might be filling this textbox but you still are hollow i know you tried to make me beautiful because what else could you do with y
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i turn my bones into twigs break my own goddamn limbs folding my arms and crossing my legs just to fit in my little nest
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Nov 7
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Orphicallygenous's avatar
Orphicallygenous|Student Traditional Artist
Guuurrrl! How are youuuuu
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vvinter-flowers's avatar
vvinter-flowersEdited |Hobbyist General Artist
Annoying Dog Bullet (Free to Use) Flower Bullet (Lilac) - F2U!  Annoying Dog Bullet (Free to Use) Flower Bullet (Lilac) - F2U!  Annoying Dog Bullet (Free to Use) Flower Bullet (Lilac) - F2U!  Annoying Dog Bullet (Free to Use) Flower Bullet (Lilac) - F2U!  Annoying Dog Bullet (Free to Use) Flower Bullet (Lilac) - F2U!  Annoying Dog Bullet (Free to Use) Flower Bullet (Lilac) - F2U! Annoying Dog Bullet (Free to Use)
Arrow left  REPLY HERE
and i mean dont u touch that text box above!!!
im tryna go for a clean profile so pls help out
a friend

Arrow left NO NEED TO THANK FOR FAVS, WATCH ETC.
but ur free to do if u want cus i dont find it annoying
at all just a lil pointless?? i mean shouldn't i be
thanking you for sharing ur work??

Arrow left PLS TALK TO ME
im a lowkey lonely potato and that's prob already
obvious from the way i write

Annoying Dog Bullet (Free to Use) Flower Bullet (Lilac) - F2U!  Annoying Dog Bullet (Free to Use) Flower Bullet (Lilac) - F2U!  Annoying Dog Bullet (Free to Use) Flower Bullet (Lilac) - F2U!  Annoying Dog Bullet (Free to Use) Flower Bullet (Lilac) - F2U! Annoying Dog Bullet (Free to Use) Flower Bullet (Lilac) - F2U!  Annoying Dog Bullet (Free to Use) Flower Bullet (Lilac) - F2U! Annoying Dog Bullet (Free to Use)
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Shinikagami's avatar
hallo, is you refrigerator running?
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cholie's avatar
miss you on here. hope you're doing well.
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matnine's avatar
matnine|Student Digital Artist
hi! we lost touch (again whoop)
but how are you? ;v;
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pansydiv's avatar
:heart:  i love you and i'm glad to see you back!!
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vvinter-flowers's avatar
vvinter-flowers|Hobbyist General Artist
*trying* to be back thanks divs, ily2!
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