vonweirdo

“Americans have the strangest customs,” Medic shook his head, screwing the lid back onto the jar of mayonnaise he had sitting on the kitchen counter. He carefully laid a white-coated slice of bread on top of the sandwich he was building, smiling at his handiwork. “The hell are you goin' on about?” Scout asked from his seat on a nearby counter top, turning from the conversation he was having with Engineer. “You” the doctor turned, gesturing with his dirty knife. “You are always going on about socks! The socks this, the socks that. The socks are going all the way this year. The socks are winners for s

The war room was, as usual, full of commotion. Soldier was berating the team's poor performance that day, despite the fact that they had captured the opposing team's intelligence and won the round. He alternated between too-loud shouts and ferocious snarls, directed at each and every member. The team, for their part, seemed to mostly be ignoring him...looking from one teammate to the next, rolling their eyes, and showing all-too-clear signs of exasperation and boredom. Medic sighed as he put a hand to his forehead and muttered something in German, causing Heavy to chuckle in response next to him. Soldier glared at both of them. "WOULD YOU C

There was a good reason that birds of prey, and especially eagles, were often used as national symbols. They were majestic, and graceful, and regal… hell, America’s first president was an eagle-winged guy, and you couldn’t argue with that. But best of all was when you heard one of them coming down on you from above? It was already too late. The last thing you’d see would be their shadow… “SCREAMIN’ EAGLEEEES!” …And the last thing you’d feel was their boots landing on your back, before they took your head off with a shovel. The RED Soldier grinned to himself; he hadn’t been th

“Space. The final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Her five year mission...” the television says. It's a stormy Friday night, and Pyro is alone in the common area watching Star Trek, wearing an ensemble consisting of a one-piece flannel pajama garment and his gasmask. He's not alone for long. “Hey, Py. Mind if I watch with you?” Pyro shakes his head and budges up on the couch, letting Engie sit next to him. For once he's helmetless and goggleless, his robotic hand ungloved. Pajamas. “Couldn't sleep with this thunder. It's loud as all hell.” “Mmhrrm,” Pyro agrees. He

It was late, and to his defense, Scout thought everyone else was asleep. He was outside, trying to blow off the energy that was preventing him from sleeping. It was so hot outside, his red shirt was practically drenched with sweat. He sped around the corner of the large red building, and nearly smashed into someone. "Bonjour, mom ami. Where's the fire?" Spy asked sarcastically. "Shut up, faggot. Why're you awake anyways?" "I could ask ze same to 'ou." "I couldn't sleep, okay? Wait, why am I telling you this?" Scout huffed exasperatedly. Spy took out a cigarette and lit it, taking a long drag. Scout leaned against the wall a foot or so

The RED Scout knew what he was doing could get him in serious trouble. If, that is, he got caught. Scout was too smart and too fast to get caught. But, apart from all of that, he was hungry. They were running out of good food back in the RED base, but he knew there was food near the BLU base. The BLU Sniper they had, he was a good guy. He’d planted an apple tree at one point, and always took care of it. He and the RED Scout had become.... not friends  exactly, but they could trust each other enough. Scout snuck over to the apple tree almost every night, often meeting the Sniper under the stars. They had met one late evening, when t

Fortress of Death Chapter 01 - Out of the pit, into the thunder "How much longer till we are finally there? I'm going crazy if I have to sit still for just five more minutes", Scout muttered. "Why the heck did we even have to leave? The gravel pit already became something like a second home to me and now we suddenly have to move just because the REDs were stupid enough to build a base in the middle of the mountains? Since they officially fled the pit we just could have called it a victory and let them rot up there for the rest of eternity but no, we have to follow them and destroy their base. This sucks. Officially. And on ice." Sniper let o

The morning was dim and grey, and the snow sitting heavily upon every readily available surface did well to muffle all sound. Everything was still. The kind of stillness that smothered all sound, a rear naked choke that pacified the world under a blanket of frost and steady, slow, freezing breezes. Some things, however, even the oppressive weight of the fresh snow could not stifle. “They hadda send us to Coldfront in the middle of frickin' January, didn't they? Back from furlough and I shoulda stayed in Boston if I wanted this kinda weather!” Scout's voice, grumpy and wavering as his body shivered, carried clear across the empty

The young man wearing a gas mask looked around the train he was riding. There were only three other people on the train, besides himself. There was a young boy who looked like a teenager, with jet-black hair and emerald-colored eyes, wearing a sleeveless red shirt and black knee-length pants, and running shoes. The other man, an older-looking one with a yellow hardhat was looking out the train window, watching the rain fall. He wore goggles and had reddish-brown overalls over a red shirt. He wanted to say something, maybe engage in a conversation, but he knew that he wasn't able to do so. He was born mute, so he couldn't say anything, or mak