say you'll stay,
you'll sail across
oceans with me,
though you're afraid of the sea,
and i will meet you on the tail of the sunrise.
your hair, spun sugar;
i want to be there when summer
dares to share the secrets of your skin so bare.
your silence sinks the sun,
and my sleeping tongue comes under fire
from an overwhelming numbness
from seaquins and xylitol,
how you wake up everyday and you have it all.
maybe one day i can say that i stand so tall
and maybe then
you will say you'll stay a while,
you will let me sail across the sky with you.
i have a map
that i can't read with all these waves
washing over me
and in the madness of the se
when a kiss leaves you dazzled for days
on end, your skin sometimes turns to rust.
you end up haggling with the wind for ways
to clear the dust
gathering behind your eyelids. you forget to say
the metal on your tongue away, so you
talk through your teeth. his smile sways
you, and reduces
yours to script that scribbles itself out inside
of your empty chest. it matters little, though; you never really
knew you weren't full enough for words until you met the crystallized sunshine
of his eyes' gleam.
a beautiful morning
and a broken breath between the start.
what i'm losing
is a single chance to see your heart.
i don't want forever,
i want you to wake me up.
forever is over.
now's the only time we've got.
i always do this;
i fall to hard, i fall too fast.
i fall for everything easy,
i fall for nothing that can last.
but you're not the same, you're not
made by men who made my past.
under this falling sky, you're not
a moment a would dare let pass.
do you know that you glow
with the heart of the dark of the ocean?
i would bend to the end
of the horizon just to catch it.
i would break my back,
i would stop my slacking
a
the sunlight sulks its way through smog-
gy sky, smiling somehow. it was silk, really,
seeing something
so silent sing so loud. it made me
see, i'm just scribbles
on a salamander's stomach, really.
we broke each others'
desperation,
without [like fevers]
knowing the cause. i could
have held you to my chest
like the sun
and told you it's okay - and it is -
but you blurred your outline with
tequila and anti-depressants.
i overdosed on guilt. i killed
the first step
to sadness is to
have.
[3]
poseidon
punctuates the bruised
shorelines with broken hearts and
shattered abelone
shell fragments.
sometimes the
shore creeps up, kisses
my feet. sometimes he rips through
the distance between
us, taking
what's his.
[5]
the air here
vibrates to a fire,
sparrow's heart humming in c
major. it does scare
me sometimes,
how i might love you
more than ibuprofen, or
the way the light might
oscillate
through an ether storm.
the person i am now is
not compatible
with who i
was before you. but
how do i scrape myself out
from under my own
fingernails?
[7]
we caught the
moon
i put your love into a box
and threw it deep beneath the water
in hopes that i'll forget the words
i've been trying to say, "baby, you for me forever".
is this the love that burns
away all of my fingerprints?
is this the love that burns
identity into submission?
you're still trying to linger,
you're still trying to steal the sky.
maybe i could stop you
if i waved goodbye.
i'm waiting for your face to fade
into a blur of time-worn features.
when i forget how to say your name,
my tongue won't taste like ashes in my mouth.
were you the love i deluded myself
into dying for?
if you had just intruded,
would it still be this sor
say you'll stay,
you'll sail across
oceans with me,
though you're afraid of the sea,
and i will meet you on the tail of the sunrise.
your hair, spun sugar;
i want to be there when summer
dares to share the secrets of your skin so bare.
your silence sinks the sun,
and my sleeping tongue comes under fire
from an overwhelming numbness
from seaquins and xylitol,
how you wake up everyday and you have it all.
maybe one day i can say that i stand so tall
and maybe then
you will say you'll stay a while,
you will let me sail across the sky with you.
i have a map
that i can't read with all these waves
washing over me
and in the madness of the se
when a kiss leaves you dazzled for days
on end, your skin sometimes turns to rust.
you end up haggling with the wind for ways
to clear the dust
gathering behind your eyelids. you forget to say
the metal on your tongue away, so you
talk through your teeth. his smile sways
you, and reduces
yours to script that scribbles itself out inside
of your empty chest. it matters little, though; you never really
knew you weren't full enough for words until you met the crystallized sunshine
of his eyes' gleam.
a beautiful morning
and a broken breath between the start.
what i'm losing
is a single chance to see your heart.
i don't want forever,
i want you to wake me up.
forever is over.
now's the only time we've got.
i always do this;
i fall to hard, i fall too fast.
i fall for everything easy,
i fall for nothing that can last.
but you're not the same, you're not
made by men who made my past.
under this falling sky, you're not
a moment a would dare let pass.
do you know that you glow
with the heart of the dark of the ocean?
i would bend to the end
of the horizon just to catch it.
i would break my back,
i would stop my slacking
a
the sunlight sulks its way through smog-
gy sky, smiling somehow. it was silk, really,
seeing something
so silent sing so loud. it made me
see, i'm just scribbles
on a salamander's stomach, really.
we broke each others'
desperation,
without [like fevers]
knowing the cause. i could
have held you to my chest
like the sun
and told you it's okay - and it is -
but you blurred your outline with
tequila and anti-depressants.
i overdosed on guilt. i killed
the first step
to sadness is to
have.
[3]
poseidon
punctuates the bruised
shorelines with broken hearts and
shattered abelone
shell fragments.
sometimes the
shore creeps up, kisses
my feet. sometimes he rips through
the distance between
us, taking
what's his.
[5]
the air here
vibrates to a fire,
sparrow's heart humming in c
major. it does scare
me sometimes,
how i might love you
more than ibuprofen, or
the way the light might
oscillate
through an ether storm.
the person i am now is
not compatible
with who i
was before you. but
how do i scrape myself out
from under my own
fingernails?
[7]
we caught the
moon
when the wind forgets to blow by Vlavisfaults, literature
Literature
when the wind forgets to blow
it would be a night like this.
you would grow tired of surrounding yourself with
friends whose names you don't know and will never
bother learning, trying to remember mine. you'll
forget the way your throat catches on the first
syllable and stops your breathing; "c-c-christ,"
would be the first thing you'd say as you remember
something torrential
[you crucified me].
you would be wondering about my hands and if they
are still as strong as your eyes are blue [they
aren't, but you'll hope]. you would shake the snow globe
and hope that you wished with enough momentum for
the snowfall of tears never to end. they'd be your te
Life is easier when you believed the stork dropped you in your mother's lap
Because sex is complicated and messy and makes nonexistent things hurt
Sometimes it's not even sore
Most times it's just a dull throb above your eye
No pill can take that away
And no amount of sex will make it better
They don't tell you in school about how your heart really works
They don't tell you how one person could make it shatter
So that you can feel the shards gnawing through your insides
And somehow pushing themselves out your feet
The worst is when you can't walk
It's never as easy as seeing a butterfly with pretty wings
More like seeing a dead bird with br
"You get used to never being full, you know," Milly says, a clover stem hanging out of the corner of her mouth. "Your stomach shrinks and you don't feel any kind of pain until the end of the day."
"What kind of pain is there?"
"All kinds. In your stomach. In your head."
"In your heart?"
"Yeah." She puts two fingers on her wrist and waits for her pulse to come running through. "It's beating fast now. Taking my pulse makes me anxious."
"Why?"
"I'm afraid my heart will stop."
She digs through her purse and finds a notebook and a pen and I look over her shoulder as she writes down, "3 clover stems. 50 calories."
"3 clover stems isn't 50 c
in my dream i lay on a silver-lining shore
and they buried me with sand until i couldn't breathe anymore.
daddy never told them to stop.
he never asked them to stop
and his eyes were so grey that i thought they were yours.
take my pulse. i feel alive today
and tomorrow that might go away.
sometimes i get tired of living.
i get tired of living
and so i stop eating, or drinking, or talking.
i wish his eyes were yours
and they were your tears that he pours.
every day they fall.
yesterday and the day before and today they fall
and i can't figure out what to do about it now.
it's my fault, i know,
but i can't help feeling so low.
say you'll stay,
you'll sail across
oceans with me,
though you're afraid of the sea,
and i will meet you on the tail of the sunrise.
your hair, spun sugar;
i want to be there when summer
dares to share the secrets of your skin so bare.
your silence sinks the sun,
and my sleeping tongue comes under fire
from an overwhelming numbness
from seaquins and xylitol,
how you wake up everyday and you have it all.
maybe one day i can say that i stand so tall
and maybe then
you will say you'll stay a while,
you will let me sail across the sky with you.
i have a map
that i can't read with all these waves
washing over me
and in the madness of the se
for once an appropriately titled journal.
hello! as the title suggests, this entry has something to do with a song i wrote a few years previously shockingly entitled "be mine". a few days ago i found myself playing the very basic and elementary piano accompaniment for the song and strangely enough, it evolved with the splendor one would see when finally using that water stone on eevee. so, seeing as the music grew up and how i've grown up musically, i figured i may as well rewrite the lyrics. trust me, they needed it. i'll paste them below just for interest's sake, but they basically went like this:
CLICHE CLICHE CLICHE CLICHE CLICHE CLICHE