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Estelle positively, absolutely, never endlessly hated the idea of dance. Every time the blonde haired princess tried, her two feet always looped over one another, and soon she'd be falling flat on her back. The princess knew dancing was a sacred Netheron tradition but it was one she'd been horrible at. Dancing made her nervous, too uncomfortable for any tradition and slow dancing was especially bad this way. There was no way she could ever stun a prince, if she danced clumsily. Not that she cared anyway- her mother and father had been trying for years to find her the right man, with little success. She considered skipping out on many ballroom events because of her distaste for the matter, and the sooner that she went home, the better.

Marcilyn Locket came up to her one day, at one of these ballroom events. The castle’s ballroom was a beautiful one: many purple, silver and white decorations filled the room, and the curtains were showered with many silver and gold jewels. The colors were reminiscent of the Netheron flag, and the half-moon decorated many of the wall decorations. There were tall pillars holding up the corridors, and a lovely sparkling chandelier hanging from the ceiling. There were platters of food stored in one giant table at the end of the room, and an orchestra on a second level. It overall fit for a fine appearance.

 The olive-colored inventor generally didn’t go to such events, due to her equal distaste for parties. Her friend however was looking gloomy, and so she had decided it was time she come with, and show her some support. Secretly, Estelle liked the idea of dancing with Marcilyn- but she would never ever admit that. Marcilyn was her best friend, yet her assistant. She was the assistant of the rain machine, after all.

She was a princess, and should know how to dance. But her best friend Marcilyn was a world class inventor, and a talented one at that. Marcilyn knew how to invent, but she also knew how to draw. She'd drawn many lovely portraits of the princess for her mother, as her mother rejoiced in her ability to capture her appearance with clear accuracy. She knew Marcilyn was more than just a simple servant. She was beyond a servant. She was her best friend! They both shared a remarkable interest with each other: to invent and have love for technology. But Estelle did not know how to dance, would never know how to dance- and many had taught her the art, and failed miserably. Her clumsiness betrayed her, and she knew, knew she was much too careless.

Not every day was bound to be this gloomy, as Marcilyn would have told her. But Estelle had a very particular feeling something would put her into a bad mood. Her feeling became true when she saw Meyhra dance with one of the ballroom men with a very broad grin on her face. It wasn't the dancing that made her upset- rather the words that she emitted from her own mouth.

“You're not fit to dance like me,” Meyhra told her, wiping her long creamy blonde hair in her face. It wasn’t tied up in her bun as usual, laying down low to her lower back. She looked like Estelle from a distance, but her hair was much more longer and her eyes didn’t match with Estelle’s burgundy eyes, but were a startling light blue instead. She glided across the room in a way that was beyond romantic: Meyhra was dating another monarch so rich, Estelle knew he was loaded with euros.

“You're just going to end up with some bum on the street, as you always do,” The cousin retorted. Estelle could feel herself begin to bubble up with anger.

Estelle generally fought back with equal snarkiness, but she wasn't feeling in the mood this time. Meyhra had won the argument, and she stayed silent as Meyhra danced away, and scattered into the distance. She didn't want to end up with a bum- but she didn't want to end up with a prince either. A man meant responsibility she just couldn't have, and the idea of children disgusted her. Why Meyhra considered to harass her about something so personal, she didn't know. But her cousin was always one to be snarky, even if it really did hurt sometimes.

On that day, she realized quickly she wasn't the only one with dancing issues. Marcilyn herself, all alone: glided across the room with intensity. No one wanted to dance with the inventor as her moves were much to sharp, and passionate for the Netheronian taste. She twirled and spiraled, waving her arms around gracefully as she continually wove herself into formations like Estelle had never seen, and continually and harshly kicked her feet together as she moved her arms and spiraled across the room. She'd come from a land where passion was important in dancing, and so she danced like such. Her traditions carried back to the times of earth: the place where dancing was loved and cherished by many. Huertians in general had taken this tradition and turned it on its upside, where dancing was a form of respect and dignity. Marcilyn clearly showed none of this: proceeding only to dance as if she were showing her own passionate, wild love.

Estelle watched her with such amazement, it made her heart race. She was very beautiful the way she danced- it was a beauty that was rare and wonderful. Estelle wished, secretly wished Marcilyn would dance with her like that. Her dream came true when Marcilyn looked up at her with sparkling eyes, and came over to her, offering her a dance.

“Would you like to learn how to dance with me?” Marcilyn asked. Estelle hesitated, knowing quickly no one had been able to teach her to do such.

“Sure...” Estelle said with a pause. “Though I am not particularly-”

Without a second, the inventor swept her off of her feet, pulling her close. The closeness was remarkable to the princess- and the two girls were blushing greatly, their faces blooming with red, and their heels clashing together in their awkward movements. Estelle felt especially embarrassed, she'd already felt like she was dying and she barely even started dancing. Being with Marcilyn calmed her, although her heart was accelerating much for an unknown reason.

Estelle was taken all across the dance room. Marcilyn spun her around several times, gripping her arms as she pulled her into her. She curled the princess into her, shocking even Meyhra from a distance. The two stood still for a moment, breathing heavily before Marcilyn uncurled her and continued to take her for a stroll across the room. Many stared at them as they danced, causing an uneasiness to appear on her face. Marcilyn gripped her hands, continually dancing in a way that was much different than the rest of the crowd. She danced with a serious passion, one that was much different than anything she’d ever come across, and this made Estelle's heart soar with love.

Marcilyn was going so fast, so furious- it allured her. She did a few more twirls until she dove forward and pulled the princess to the edges of her toes. And strangely, as the inventor came to a halt and pulled her up, Estelle lost her balance and tripped on her heels and they toppled over onto the floor. The back entrance was just before them, with a pure coincidental occurrence. The inventor laughed carelessly, as Estelle sat there struggling to comprehend what just happened. She tensed up and almost felt tears come to her eyes, an embarrassment seeping over her.

“That was just an excuse to dance with me, wasn’t it?” Estelle asked, dusting off her clothes.

“Oh no, Estelle. I wanted to teach you the way of my heritage. It’s all I know. We Heneurockers are passionate dancers,” Marcilyn said with a small laugh. “Come on, I’ll teach you for real this time.”

“No thank you...” The princess replied. “I felt so embarrassed dancing with you like that- I wanted to cry...”

Marcilyn looked hurt at the words. Estelle felt a tinge of regret staring into those sad brown eyes. She didn’t mean to sound so... unenthusiastic at the thought. As much as she liked dancing with Marcilyn... she’d rather do it in private, without anyone else around her.

“Maybe we’ll go a little bit slower then...” Marcilyn responded.

“Could we dance alone? Without all of these people around us?” Estelle asked. “I mean... I didn’t mean to sound so unenthusiastic about it. But I really feel like everyone’s staring at me- even Meyhra, when we dance together...”

“Ah... certainly...” Marcilyn paused, offering to pull the princess up. “I can understand being embarrassed about dancing... I mean, when I first learned to slow dance, I was so embarrassed...”

“Who exactly did you slow dance with?” Estelle asked.

“Ah, that’s not too important I suppose...” Marcilyn told her, a small embarrassed look appearing on her face. Estelle had never seen her best friend blush so much. “But would you mind if I taught you to slow dance?”


“S-slow dance?” Estelle sputtered. She really thought of it. “Maybe somewhere private, away from my mother’s prying eyes...”

“It’s just because I’m a girl, isn’t it?” Marcilyn asked, with a strong huff.

“No- not at all!” Estelle shouted. “She’s just... never really been supportive of me dancing with my servants...”

Marcilyn huffed again. Estelle knew she hated being called a servant more than anything in the world. Estelle hated the thought too- she’d much rather call her a best friend than anything else... and she knew that Marcilyn’s culture was much different than her own. Marcilyn struggled to live all the way in the country of Netheron, away from her own country of Heneurock. Just because Netheron was a lot more closed minded than anything else.

As if seeing Marcilyn’s slight frustration, Estelle quickly said, “You’re so much more than just a servant to me. You’re also my best friend. And you’re a really amazing dancer…”

The princess gave a small sincere smile. If she could rebel against her mother, it would be slow dancing with Marcilyn. Her mother might make the biggest deal out of it if she found out, but she didn’t care. Slow dancing with Marcilyn brought her much joy.

“Do you really believe that?” Marcilyn asked.

“Of course,” Estelle responded. She grabbed her hand, “Come on, I’ll take you to the backrooms.”

Marcilyn nodded her head, a bright smile filling her lips. The inventor proudly walked with her, hand and hand into the backroom. It was empty, but they could still hear the party music from a distance. No one was here, but a bunch of boxes.

“Alright Marcilyn, show me what you got,” Estelle told her.

Marcilyn was practically glowing as she clutched the princess’s hand and brought her to a closeness that was even closer than their dance earlier. They were practically neck to neck with each other, to the point of where Estelle could smell the scent of motor oil. It wasn't quite pleasing to smell, but in the presence of Marcilyn, it was very sweet smelling. Their bodies were pressed together in a warm embrace as the two of them slowly strode across the room, Marcilyn hand held her back, supporting her. She leaned in fairly close to Marcilyn, resting her head on her shoulder. It was so blissful- so, so blissful. Estelle never wanted it to end.

As they danced, Marcilyn wrapped her arms around Estelle's neck, peacefully embracing her. The closeness was one the princess wasn't used to, but it brought her much love and joy, and gave her so much life. She could feel her heart begin to race, and felt strangely giddy at the thought of taking it further and kissing Marcilyn, though she contained herself. She knew fully it was not okay to kiss a servant, even if she doubled as a friend.

They slowly danced for a long time, and at that moment: Estelle felt whole and complete, more than she had so in ages. Oh how she wished she could dance like this forever, with her best friend none the less. How she wished Marcilyn would stay with her forever, and caress her body with her moves.

Finally, Marcilyn let go of her. She raised Estelle’s chin with a gentle touch and a cat-toothed grin that only Marcilyn could wield.

“You realize you weren’t clumsy at all when you danced with me, did you?” She asked.

Estelle smiled at this, and laughed.

For a moment in her time, everything was perfect.

Here's the story with Marcilyn and Estelle that I promised a while back! The timing is terrible I know- but hey- at least it's in time for Valentines Day! :D I also know I just literally posted a slightly romantic picture of these two as well, but please bear with me. It's not on purpose, it's just a funny concidence. As always, I try to balance out my romantic writings with my more subtle ones, such in the case of the last fiction I wrote, with this one. I won't lie- this is adorable, and makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. This inspired a scene in the prequel, which runs very similar, but also very different.

I hope I've made it clear the prequel is going to be bittersweet, as well as the relationship between Estelle and Marcilyn towards the end of the prequel. However,  Estelle and Marcilyn share one of the strongest bonds I know, and this is what truly makes their relationship remarkable. I will be honest- the person you see here, has not always wrote happy cute stuff like this. I used to write nothing but tragedies and horror stories long ago, no lie. (That was when I was 16) Ever since then, I've tried to train myself to write happier content, because I used to go much too far with it, and it was turning into an unhealthy habit. That's why you'll see me work with mostly subtle content these days- though as much as I'd love to write children books (haha yeah right) I appreciate the teen genre so much more.

Anyway, back on subject for this story: I  feel like some of the dancing  scenes are a bit awkward. If you notice any way I can improve them, please let me know. I want to describe them, but I'm having trouble figuring out how. (Not really the slow dance between Estelle and Marcilyn, more likely the strange visuals I get from the beginning dance. ) Marcilyn in the beginning, is dancing somewhat in between a European and Spanish style dance, but I can't really describe it like that, because in the story, it's a "Heneurockian" dance. In the prequel, Marcilyn and Estelle dance a very similar dance together, and hilarity ensures. Their dance in the book is actually much more funny rather than romantic, due the nature of being towards the beginning of the story c: Had it been in the middle or end, it would be much more romantic.
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:iconarasteia:
This looks so darned cute! There are a couple of early word choices that stick out to me though.

'never endlessly' - I read this as never endlessly, literally 'not endlessly', which is the opposite of what you mean, so maybe just endlessly will do?

'The olive-colored inventor' - I think generally people say 'olive-skinned'?

Okay, you say that the 'half-moon decorated many of the wall decorations', so a couple of things here. This might be me being stupid, but is the half-moon significant to Netheron somehow? If so, you might want to clarify for first-time readers or stupid people like me. Also, you say 'decorated' and 'decorations' so you could say 'hangings' or 'adornments' instead of decorations, or replace 'decorated' with another word perhaps?

'her friend however was looking gloomy' - perhaps you could show how she looked gloomy?

'she would never ever admit that' - this is really adorable! :D

'She knew Marcilyn was more than just...' - when you said 'She' here I thought you meant her mother, since you were just talking about her, so maybe clarify here?

'many had taught her the art' - since you then say they fail, perhaps it would make more sense to say 'many had tried to teach her the art'

'she saw Meyhra dance with one of the...' - do you mean 'dancing'?

'her hair was much more longer' - I think generally you only need to say 'was much longer' - more is unnecessary I think.

'as you always do," The cousin retorted.' - the 'the' here doesn't need to be capitalised as it's part of a speech tag, not a new sentence :)

'begin to bubble up with anger' - Nice!

You say that Marcilyn 'glided across the room with intensity' and that she was 'sharp', but to me that doesn't really correspond with 'glided'. Maybe find another verb to express how jerkily she was dancing?

'her moves were much to sharp' - do you mean 'too sharp'?

'so she danced like such' - I think this could be 'danced as such'?

'Marcilyn looked hurt at the words' - again maybe another opportunity to show her sadness in her expression and body language?

I've noticed that you use a lot of speech tags, and that's fine, but I think it can be effective to forgo the speech tag entirely in some sentences, just to break it up. Like this:
'"Who exactly did you slow dance with?" Estelle asked.
"Ah, that's not too important I suppose..." A small embarrassed look appeared on Marcilyn's face.'
As long as the sentence without the speech tag is centred on the character who is speaking, your audience will know who is talking without you expressly stating it :)

This was seriously adorable. I loved the little things like where Estelle could smell the motor oil on Marcilyn but didn't care cause it was Marcilyn. You had a great mix of dialogue and description and I could also picture the scene really well. I've mentioned pretty much everything I picked up, and otherwise I really enjoyed this!
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:iconevevon:
Heyy, I found some time to finally reply on this piece! Again, pay no attention to the arbitrary scores, lol XD

First of all let me start off with telling you the story is so cute and adorable! It was a very enjoyable read! There are some things I noticed which I will point out, so let's start off :D

In general, I think the story has a good start, middle and end. There is a clear introduction and conclusion to the story. I do think that with going over the story a several times, revising bits and pieces, cutting things out and elaborating other things will make the story more streamlined and more impactful. Right now, I do have the feeling there are some repetitions that are unnecessary, and other things that are glanced over too quickly.

What I also do notice in general is your tendency to sum up facts, instead of describing them indirectly.

Now onto the specific parts of the story, I will go through the paragraphs in order :D

I love the first sentence of the introduction, it's effective as the strong emotion of Estelle is introduced, and makes the reader relate immediately :3 However, I think it would be very effective if a certain memory of Estelle was described rather than her contemplating over it generally. E.g:

"She could very well recall the last time she tried to dance, and it had not ended well; her feet looped over one another as always, and she had fallen flat on her back. The instructor had had to pull her up, and the nasty fall had left her with a sprained ankle and a strong sense of selfawareness."

Next paragraph: first introduction of Marcilyn! I think, the moment you introduce a character, most of the time you're better off to describe the character right away. (unless the surrounding is of much higher priority or the character is unknown, but then we would usually start describing the scene and mentioning the characters at the end) You can write like this "Marcilyn Locket came up to her one day, at one of these ballroom events. [Enter description Marcilyn, in such way that new readers get a clear image of her]. The ballroom event she had been attending that day [continue description ballroom]"

I also think a good trick in your descriptions is writing from the eyes of people in your world :D If something is usual, like for example the colours being the same as Netheron flag, you can also name that :D "The castle's ballroom was decorated with the colours of the Netheron flag. The remniscent purple, silver and white decorations filled the room and left a huge impression on the guests" <- notice that I also ommitted the word "beautiful". Empty terms like that are rather toxic in writing descriptions, because it:

- Leaves your audience having to come up with what is beautiful, so it comes across as lazy describing
- It tells us nothing, like why or how it is beautiful
- It is unclear who finds the ballroom beautiful; is it Estelle, or the narrator? Or someone else?

Words like beautiful, amazing, bad, horrible etc. are to get the feelings of characters come across, and even then I would use them sparsely, because it's always better to describe behavior of a character than make them scream "woah, amazing" :3

Next part, "she was a princess, and should know how to dance"-> not completely sure who it is referred to. This is also one of the times described how Marcilyn is beyond a servant. I do believe that this is specifically something you should show, not tell. Show how Estelle and Marcilyn are so close that they are more than just master/servant. It's also a way to let the audience read between the lines, discover themselves what Estelle's and Marcilyn's relationship is like, without it being described for them. There is one moment where Estelle mentions that Marcilyn is more than just a servant, I think that's perfectly enough :D

I do think the description of Marcilyn dancing is good enough O: after all remember we are looking through the eyes of Estelle, so it coming across as weird is perfectly logical: Estelle doesn't know what she's seeing after all XD

Anyway, the first sign that Estelle goes doki-doki for Marcilyn is something I would try to play more subtly. I think actually taking out the first sentence "Estelle watched her with such amazement, it made her heart race." will suffice perfectly!

Next, when they are talking, I think generally you're doing a good job here, however I think you might be using the word "embarrassing" a tad too much here o: maybe look in the thesaurus for an alternative, or just describe something we link to embarrassment. E.g.: "I mean, when I first learned to slow dance, I could not face the person for an entire week after that." (or something like that)


Anyway, last thing I want to advice you is try to build a curve of tension/climax ^^ Do not go straight into things, but build it up slowly. So the last part where they are dancing alone, that's where all the sparks come! Before that, you can subtly hint to it and build towards it. The contrast between those scenes will make it all the more impactful.

I hope any of this helped, keep it up! :w00t:
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:iconobelis:
Obelis Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
So Marcilyn's dance style is more of a countryside style, while the usual Netheron slow dance is what was happening in European royal homes. :nod:

It is understandable that Estelle felt so unpleasant! Dance requires yourself to put out a lot of what you usually hide deep inside, so this rarely can feel pleasant when judgmental people are watching.
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:iconvivyi:
Vivyi Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Yuuuup. For sure. Marcilyn definition grew up in a far different territory than Estelle. She has a very exotic history for a half royal. :nod:

Indeed! Dancing can be quite the personal activity especially with somebody so close! Of course, it's doubtful Marcilyn would mind much if Estelle made out with her then and there. Maybe she'd get in trouble for "seducing" her (at least in this story) but Estelle herself, would probably more likely die of embarrassment if that happened! LOL XD
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:iconkalinereine:
KalineReine Featured By Owner Edited Feb 15, 2016  Professional Writer
This is so beautiful and well-written! :love: I love it! I can't really think of any way to improve the dancing scenes, they seemed really good to me. I especially like how descriptive you were with everything. It was like I could actually see it all happening. And you write strong emotions so well. I feel like they should have kissed though, it's a shame they didn't... Over all though, this came across really sweet and sophisticated. ♥ Great work!
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:iconvivyi:
Vivyi Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Awwww thank yoooou! :love: Yeah, sweet is what I was going for! :XD: I wrote this a while back actually, but I really love how it turned out, so I wanted to share. These two give me a lot of life, they are beautiful in every way :heart: I really wanted to write the kiss scene as well, but I think they are definitely chickens :XD: (And so am I sometimes LOL ) But regardless, I'm really glad you like it c:
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:iconkalinereine:
KalineReine Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2016  Professional Writer
That's so cool! I'm glad you decided to share it with us. :love: It's amazing! I agree, it's so beautiful. They're probably just scared, I mean I don't really blame them. Dramatic tension is always a good thing though, and the feelings are there, so I guess it doesn't matter how they express it. ♥ And if you could write a story this amazing without them even kissing, that says a lot about your writing ability. It's brilliant really. <3
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:iconvivyi:
Vivyi Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Of course! I had to, it's Tea Cup Shipping. Tea Cup Shipping is awesome! :XD:  (That's the secondary name for this pairing, other than MarciEstellie. You can thank one of my dearest friends for that name, LOL :XD: Despite it being canon, it does suit them well! :XD: You'll see why it's named that later =P ) Well, yeah... I sorta pictured them similarly to my best friend and I :XD: Our friendship used to share some similarities with Marcilyn and Estelle's relationship, and I'm sure my best friend will notice that at some point LOL :XD: (And if she reads this she'll know LOL )

Awwww thank yooou <333 Yeah, I've had a lot of practice writing romance (especially gay romance) before hand. I can be really good at it if I try :XD:
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:iconkalinereine:
KalineReine Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2016  Professional Writer
Awwww so cute! :love: That's really sweet and that makes sense. :nod: And you're very welcome. <3
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:iconnaysae:
Naysae Featured By Owner Edited Feb 14, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
i agree with kiwi, both the critique and the fact that they should've passed that up and kissed already LMAO--

and this is a really lovely oneshot !! but poor marcilyn though, to be like indirectly degraded by people in the party (well with their eyes, not words) ; im just happy to see that estelle told her how she felt the midst of everything though /v\
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:iconvivyi:
Vivyi Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Ahhhhhh yes :XD: Everyone's saying they should have kissed LOL! Hahahaha But man, I'm so glad I turned critiques on. I had no idea I wrote Marcilyn's appearance like that, how oblivious of me /hides Guess that's what I get for not being cultured :XD: Man, I really want to change that now :P I'll have to figure out a decent time just to sit around and edit this work.

Awww yeah, poor Marcilyn! I put her through a lot sometimes, poor thing :XD: Of course, Estelle's going to tell her how she feels, because she's just that awesome :heart: They really do compliment each other nicely, I think! :D
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:iconkiwijr:
KiwiJr Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2016
So much love! Come on, Estelle, you should have kissed her! D:
It was just a comment, I kow you have everything planned. You need drama and time. It would be a waste if they started dating so early :aww:

As always, you did a great job. Remember to be careful with the descriptions. Saying "The olive-colored inventor" in fics is fine, but you might want to sound smarter by being more careful with the words ;)
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:iconvivyi:
Vivyi Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
True true c: I don't think they date right away in the prequel, actually. I don't even think they end up dating in the prequel :XD: For them, it may be forever. That's just the way they are :P

Ohhhh gosh! How  could I let that one slip? Ahhh I feel embarrassed now :XD: Shame on me for using that sort of language. I've actually recently read some advice on writing characters with different ethnicity, and I forgot to check the wording that I used to describe Marcilyn XP Never use "Olive" and certainly not "colored" I feel stupid now LOL :XD: From what I read, I should be using traditions and such to describe the character, rather than their skin color. I've heard some people really don't like that, and this was written prior to that knowledge. My darn obliviousness LOL That's definitely the first thing I'm changing c:
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:iconkiwijr:
KiwiJr Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2016
Remind me, when are they going to date? If it happens :P

It's fine, this is the purpose of posting here :)
I would have given you a critique, but I didn't have much to say :aww:
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:iconvivyi:
Vivyi Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Possibly after the sequel. It's a really long and complicated reason why, and would take a very long time to explain. Basically: because of plot defined reasons, if they hooked up too soon, it would not be a very healthy relationship because of the antagonists pushing them against each other, Estelle's uprising as a tyrant, and their conflicted feelings towards each other. However, there is still that chemistry, and it's been there for the entire book series, and they will end up as a couple by the end of the sequel. (Yes, Estelle is even in love with Marcilyn when she goes on a tyrannical raid in the beginning of the first book / end of the prequel. The feelings never die. Never. )

Ohhh wow, this has gotten really long. I'm sorry LOL :XD: I just had to explain all that.

It's fine <3 You certainly don't have to!
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:iconkiwijr:
KiwiJr Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2016
Nah, it's fine. It has to do with the plot and everything :XD:
So, Estelle becomes good again, right? :)

I saw you have a review anyway, so... :aww:
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:iconvivyi:
Vivyi Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Yep, she does- no worries :XD: Although it's kinda funny, considering Marcilyn also gets stuck being the antagonist as well :XD: Unwillingly, of course.

I actually read through the sequel, and MAN it's absolutely terrible :XD: I have way too much to work on! I might even need to write it all over again, siiiiighhh I don't like it at ALL :XD: It was like that with the prequel too, LOL But now the prequels looking pretty dang good! c:

Awww yeah c: I really appreciate the thought though!
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:iconkiwijr:
KiwiJr Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2016
It's not easy being a writer :)
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:iconvivyi:
Vivyi Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Definitely not lmao :XD:
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