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Netheron Epilogue by Vivyi Netheron Epilogue by Vivyi

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:iconnetheron-chronicles:

Here we are. The finale. The last chapter of Netheron. In which we find out a secret about Mae, and Estelle's true concerns for Mae. I hope you enjoy. :D It was fun writing this and I truly appreciate everyone's feedback~ :) You have helped me grow so much as a writer and that's pretty great! x3 Thank you so much for all your support for all of these chapters! I truly appreciate it! :)

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  Netheron Chapter 9 by Vivyi

  Art and Writing © Vivienne Waltzer. Do not edit or reproduce without my explicit permission. I encourage however, for you to spread the word. 
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:iconarasteia:
“like this wedding dress” – oh, so they have to get married? Is such a decision really practical without asking Otto first?
“swooned at the sight of Mae” – a couple of things here – firstly, wasn’t she standing there the entire time? Why has he only just noticed her? Second, I can’t really imagine Otto ‘swooning’, as it seems too feminine a thing. Thirdly, I thought she wasn’t even in the wedding dress yet?
“a dreamy day today, Rose” – why does he call her Rose?
“or should I say Mrs. Victorine” – actually, shouldn’t he say Mrs. Othan?
“he paused upon seeing Estelle come up from behind” – I thought she was already there, and don’t remember her going away
“by the entrance of Mae in her ballroom dress” – isn’t it bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding?
“this dress is quite tight” – but I thought you said it was big enough for two people? Why is it so big, anyway?
“she saw her growing up” – isn’t she the same age though? Surely she wouldn’t have the capacity to understand and feel jealousy from such a young age?
“she’d watch Mae grow up” – again, a strange sentence from the thoughts of a girl the same age. It sounds to me like something an adult would say about a teenager
“tearing Mae’s things to make them look ragged and poor” – why did she buy expensive clothes if she wanted to appear poor?
“She is my daughter” – ah. Very nice. This is the twist, I expect? I pictured something like this when I heard that Mae had a witch’s bloodlines
“fairer than her with the rain machine” – I thought Estelle was staying on to take care of the rain machine?
“I’m worried her power will overcome her” – but wasn’t there just a paragraph about how Estelle wasn’t bugged in the slightest by the chance that Mae would become the next Esmeralda, that she didn’t think there was the tiniest chance that it would happen? Why the sudden backflip?

A rather satisfying ending to an interesting story. The only thing is, the sudden change in Estelle’s views on Mae’s powers was distracting and soured the ending a little.
In general, I think the main areas you need to work on are descriptions and reactions for character development, and your syntax and word use. Your characters are very likeable - I fell in love with Estelle and feel that I could do the same for Otto and Mae if I knew a bit more about them. I also think the climax could be a bit more drawn out to maximise the suspense. Otherwise, I found Netheron intriguing, humorous and well worth the read.
What do you think?
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:iconobelis:
Obelis Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
In my opinion, Mae is on a risky place - she has potential to become both good and evil, and many circumstances will determine what will truly come out of her. Power joined with a monarch's position seems like a perfect combination to trigger some evil vibes~

This is a neatly written story. :thumbsup: The characters change, you also manage to change opinion about characters, and most plot twists were unpredictable. Good job!
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:iconvivyi:
Vivyi Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Indeed... she's in a bit of a tight spot... but if she's a good person, all will come together and she won't lose herself to her power. Maybe that power will be useful in the future. 

Thank you so much!! :glomp: I'm happy you read through it! I'm glad you thought it was good in the end c: I wrote this when I was still in high school, so it's good to know I had good writing skills even back then xD
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:iconkalinereine:
KalineReine Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2015  Professional Writer
Awww, they got married! This is so sweet, I love it! :heart: I wish there had been slightly more romantic type scenes between the two of them leading up to this. The one that stood out to me the most was when he held her back when they were being attacked by the Drethanoids, but other than that it just seemed like they didn't show much interest in each other along the way. But still, I could see this working out since they did get along well and go through a lot together. And I like it this way too, because in a way it's a much more realistic portrayal of how royal marriages actually work. 

Seems like Estelle didn't really have much of an interest in ruling a Kingdom anyway, being more inclined to invent things. So I like how well this worked out, and the fact that even when things seemed hopeless, they still kept going. My favorite part in all of it was that Estelle chose to be honest with her people when she revealed the rain machine to them, and they misunderstood her intentions partially due to that. Some people cannot handle honesty, and some secrets are better kept hidden. 

All things considered, this story was an amazing read! :love: It's just incredible and very well-done. I loved every moment of it. This is amazingly beautiful, over all. 
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:iconvivyi:
Vivyi Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Yeah, with this marriage scene, I foresaw Estelle marrying them off together in an arranged marriage. Otto and Mae aren't actually romantically inclined, but they are very suitable for the throne. :D

She didn't... because of the circumstances. Estelle would rather get her hands dirty (in the sense of slick oil, LOL ) than have to be prim and proper. She still respects the traditions of her people, but she'd much rather be inventing for others (or herself) than ruling a kingdom on top of that.

Estelle is a very honest person... so it made sense for her as a character, to want to be honest with her people. But despite that, people mistreated her anyway.

Thank you so much ;u; And thank you for reading <333 I'm glad you had a fun time reading it! :D
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:iconkalinereine:
KalineReine Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2015  Professional Writer
That's kind of how it seemed, and it made it easier to understand why they would need to get married. It could be good having two people ruling together, to avoid becoming too power-hungry and things like that. They'll keep each other in check, hopefully. 

So true... She wanted to be honest with them and she tried so hard to do the right thing, but ended up being hated for it. And it sucks to be hated for having good intentions. I do feel bad for her. She's a great character, and so are Mae and Otto. I can tell you've really put a lot of work into all of them. I'm glad Estelle got her own version of a happy ending anyway. ^^ 

You are so welcome! Thank you for writing such an amazing story and sharing it with us! :heart: 
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:iconvivyi:
Vivyi Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
That's very true c: That's what I had in mind.

It really does suck when you're trying to be honest, and you become hated for it. I'm glad I was able to write a happy ending for Estelle c: It would be hard to write a happy ending for an antagonist / side character like her.

:love:
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:iconkalinereine:
KalineReine Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2015  Professional Writer
That is very true, I'm sure it wasn't easy to figure out how to end it all in a way where things could work out. But I adore the ending, because I feel like you got it just right. :heart:
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:iconvivyi:
Vivyi Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
I wanted the best ending... so I went for something that made sense. :XD: Hehe~

I'm just happy I found the right one~ ;P Thank you <333
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:iconlydia-san:
lydia-san Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Awww love this!!!!
“One thing you must learn with us, Mae. We lie a lot. We have no choice, but to protect ourselves. It is the custom of the Violetta household”
However I still ponder... How come Mae suddenly gets married with Otto? (I don't really think they have romantic relationship before). :o (Eek) 
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:iconvivyi:
Vivyi Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you~ :D

In the Victorian era (as well as the medieval era) they put people  through an arranged marriage. Meaning, whether on not you had any romantic feelings for your partner, you were married off regardless. I think that's why I ended up marrying off Otto and Mae, because of the same reason Otto and Estelle almost got married: All arranged, all preparations for who would best lead the kingdom.
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:iconlydia-san:
lydia-san Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Awww poor them... Well I hope they can love each other in the end lol :D
Btw, will there be a sequel of Netheron? Giggle 
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:iconvivyi:
Vivyi Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm thinking about making one~ I'll see what my mind can come up with. I'll be rewriting this one first. :D
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:iconlydia-san:
lydia-san Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Yaayyy I'm looking forward to it! :D
ganbatte~!
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