I feel like my kind of art is so non-mainstream, it starts to go unnoticed so often. It takes much more effort than drawing, much more tools and materials, and yet, there are just a few people who appreciate it. I want to start sculpting something huge, that will probably take me a month or so, but since there almost aren't any people to enjoy it, why would I even bother? I go around searching for the wires I need, and I've only found some rusty ones that need polishing. And the shops don't even have the ones I need. I also had to order some dentist tools from USA, because in Moscow they only sell it in bulk in specialized shops. I still don't have a good acrylic paint, because the good one is too expensive, and the one I have is always either too thick or the opposite. And I just don't have time going around the shops since I have a job that always requires me to be in the office from the early morning till sunset. By that time all of the shops are closed already. I just don't know if I have it in me anymore. I've got so many ideas and so little power to go on. When I go to my work, I feel so enthusiastic, like: "When I come back, I'll definitely start working on another sculpture". But as the time goes on and since I don't even have any time to eat during my worktime, I get home so powerless and hungry, I only manage to cook something, watch something on youtube, and go to sleep. And this goes on and on in a neverending cycle. I just need more time. It's so inconvenient to start sculpting for two hours and then get back to it the other day. It's not a picture in photoshop. You can't go ctrl+s, ctrl+z or ctrl+c here. If something is started, there's no way to leave it for the night, because the clay acts different depending on its temperature. And I know if I start sculpting something, I'll be doing it for the entire night, I can't just slice the time into 2-hour portions.
I just wish I could do something about it. I have no faith in me whatsoever.