Sorry for the grammar
I’m made a mistake, a huge mistake involving hurting somebody out of anger. But let’s start in the beginning, I woke up, made breakfast, and went to school. Well that’s what I do every day what’s the point, anyway I got on to the bus sat down in a seat, I looked out the window spacing out into space. I felt a poke at the back of my head, I turned around and the seat behind my hand two girls I recognized. Eh… there were okay I guess, don’t like them much but I don’t care. I return to my seat, I felt a poke again. There doing this on purpose. I let them do it though, the poking got more aggressive, so did my feelings, the poking stop but then she started hitting me with the lunch box she had. Then feeling broke out, I grabbed her wrist and dug my nails into her skin, it’s stupid but I hurt somebody just out of anger…ha. I did this and a kid saw this and screamed at me to stop, just then guilt swarmed in. I sat back down feeling terrible,” I’m such a terrible person, I hurt somebody,I am awful, why did I do that, I’m stupid” I repeated in my head. I tune back to reality and heard the girl talk about me, I sat up to say sorry but I saw that she didn’t want to hear it. I sat down again, tears rolled down my face. I hate crying over something like this, so I started to laugh. I laughed and laughed even though I hated myself at that moment. If she told the principal I totally deserved it.A person in front of me sat up and talk to me,she saw the tears quickly. She asked “whats wrong?” I told her I was fine, I’m good at making myself sound happy, but the face wasn’t cutting it. More and more people saw I told them I was good but the tears are still coming. Eventually I was stubborn enough to make them leave. I saw the girl again “ I am truly sorry” I said she ignored me. So I pulled up my sleeve and started digging my nails in it too, I deserved it… I hurt somebody gotta pay the price. I did it so much I started to tear skin off, I rolled down my sleeve,and got off the bus with my brother. We entered the store my mono and dad works in, I wiped off my tears and put up a grin. Dad saw I was feeling bad so I just letter all out, I told him everything. He ask if I said sorry, I nodded, he ask if she forgave, I shook my head side to side. I told him I felt bad. He told me not to let my feelings out in violence, heh most of my family said that. They’re right, I make a apology gift for her tomorrow. Wish me luck, I don’t deserve it. You guys may think this is a stupid thing to cry about, but hey I’m weak.
Good night journal