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a lifeline in the lit labyrinth
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Literature
Tune in to Monster FM!
It's an earworm, probably.
It's just you don't know what it is, exactly, that you're listening to.
The worm burrows. You're slightly uncomfortable with this.
It's one more thing to be self-conscious about. You're good at that.
You want to object to its familiarity with the inside of your ear.
You're in your body. You don't really want anyone with you.
You tell yourself: listen to the worm, and it might go away.
"Who are you listening to?" it asks you,
and that's when you stop listening to yourself.
You don't hate its voice. It's too soon for that.
You like to give things time. You want to give your body time.
Still, there's no love lost between you and the earworm.
Your head's blooming with flowers now, in self-defence.
They come out of your ears. You'd have picked jasmine,
if you had a say, but at least hibiscuses aren't roses.
The worm comes out of the woodwork of your skin,
grotesque amongst the flowers. You're listening, still.
It asks, "what is it you're buried in today? Decay?"
N
:iconVigilo:Vigilo
:iconvigilo:Vigilo 1 9
Literature
timepieces of a traveller
I.
you bound to be gone
II.
you shake wind
over your kin
southern dark little
brittle
III.
in a world of scorching
the travel-idle dust
looks so restless
IV.
with laughter harbour-deep you carve out
of northern wilderness the bone clocks
:iconVigilo:Vigilo
:iconvigilo:Vigilo 5 0
Literature
like a perpetual motion machine
such angels and their halos
wells of molten gold spilling
on their necks without burning
their dark skin full of bones and swords
so unlike those demons who with
the paleness of the parched thirst
upon thirst and with clawed hands
tear at their own throats
both searching in ancient circles
moved by the old hunger of souls
:iconVigilo:Vigilo
:iconvigilo:Vigilo 6 5
Literature
A Ghazal of Eyes
At my spine is a harbour for a fear of eyes:
the eyes that want to know me and your eyes.
Yours want me wanting and known. I think
of floods daily. They rarely close, your eyes.
You asked if I was scared of being known,
the dip of eyelashes on all-seeing eyes.
I hid a small god in your goldfish bowl to
make it true when I said yes, those eyes.
Somewhere I am known and in love with you.
It could be true. Can you imagine Mum's eyes?
Warm, as she’d look at us over her chai and smile.
Later you'll kiss me and tell me not to close my eyes.
Perhaps I won't. Here, there is no puja that can
pray away my fear, or with incense, hide all eyes.
I want to reassure you, despite the vertigo
from the opening and closing of so many eyes.
Look at me looking at you – for if I had
your faith, I would wear a shroud of eyes.
:iconVigilo:Vigilo
:iconvigilo:Vigilo 6 4
Literature
pilgrimage
if there had been a voice
the quiet had burned it.
there is a distance to
be crossed behind your closed
eyes and no hands to guide
only a voicelessness.
somewhere a god is
longing to be heard
unseen and unlit
but for the temple
of your dark clasped hands
and you both long
for a wild beast
who walks to you
with aching feet
across these
vast deserts
and who still
calls out
to you
friend –
:iconVigilo:Vigilo
:iconvigilo:Vigilo 66 30
Literature
Ghost writer
I.
I was born when you were born, skin to skin –
embraced you like a long lost friend –
stayed –
with you, born with the brown skin
of an old woman, thin and translucent
to the touch, became a second skin
for you, a little taller, my feet stifled
underneath yours, became for you
a cradle against everywhere your skin
was.
II.
You know there is a ghost outside your skin,
leaning on your shoulder. Fingers on your ribs.
All your light is for it. It keeps your dark, too,
makes the you in earlier photographs
a darker-skinned, unknowable, silent body –
do any ghosts know their bodies?
Is this how the flame feels when the moth comes calling?
The ghost on your skin is like rain on a river,
foreign and not, to your body without abode.
Home has to be a body without skin –
III.
One day, the question slipped
from your cracked lips
and you asked your mother,
who was not born but became homeless,
how do you bear it, this dryness,
these waterless winds of foreign lands?
S
:iconVigilo:Vigilo
:iconvigilo:Vigilo 11 7
Literature
dystopias of light
I.
I had to build a house
for light, to accommodate
it: windows there, a hearth
here, lamps above.
I built a house for light to haunt.
II.
Neon, the cities burn
at night and at day.
They gave up their skies
for electric light.
III.
Fair is lovely.
Dark is a face upturned
to the light
becoming bowed.
Fair is lovely.
IV.
This is the way infidels are made.
1. You didn’t look away, full of faith.
2. The gods turned into light and blinded you.
V.
Everything against this skin is light.
VI.
Drink? ; caught fermented
in a glass, turned this way and that,
turned treacherous, swallowing,
the light drowned you.
VII.
Sunlight made thirst in me.
VIII.
I want to shed the skin that light made me
from fire, when I was clay.
IX.
‘Give us a light love,’
and I flicked the lighter alive.
Pale gold became burnt
at the edge of the cigarette.
My eyes became moths, caught.
X.
Like a guillotine, light falls on you
and makes you known.
:iconVigilo:Vigilo
:iconvigilo:Vigilo 17 23
Mature content
The Gentle are the Strong :iconvigilo:Vigilo 13 22

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deviantID

Vigilo
Vigilo
Artist | Student | Literature
Hi, I'm V. It's not my real name - not even close - but I'm Vigilo here, and I've been other V-beginning pretentious Latin usernames elsewhere on the internet for around six years now, so V works!


:iconthewrittenrevolution:

:heart:

I haven't replied to you yet because
- I reply at a glacial pace
- I accidentally deleted your message and can't find it
- I've awkwardly, silently backed away
- I've already replied to you by somewhere else
- I mentally replied to you and considered the matter closed
- I love you and I don't want to lower your opinion of me any further
Interests

So I logged in because deviantART sent me an email about account security and password-changes and blah, blah, blah, and. Hey.

I haven’t been on here for a while, and I wouldn’t have thought twice about it, but silvernium happened to write me a stunning comment-poem on a poem of mine and it made me emotional, and it happened to be on the day I logged in again, and I just felt like saying something to let you know what’s happening.

I've been keeping up with some of you on Facebook or Tumblr (or both!) but that's only like, five people, I think, so to the rest of you I probably just fell off the earth or something. I don't think I'll be on here anymore at all, so if you want to, I don't know, keep up with me or just know that I'm still around (because I want to know that you're still around), and if you think we know each other well enough, send me a note and we can be friends on Facebook?

I don't post a lot because I usually don't have anything to say, so I don’t seem very active, but I chat with people all the time there. I'm also theywhosawthedeep on Tumblr and also recently thecityoftomorrow (a blog for everything — everything — related to (mostly DC) comics and my feelings about them, specifically, because I've lost my mind) if you'd prefer that. 

I'm just not that active — actually, I’m not as active anywhere as much as I used to be on here. I’m looking back on everything that’s happened here and it’s just... amazing. I haven’t written poetry in a while either. I don’t know why, maybe academia’s eating my brain as I write this.

That's actually pretty possible, because it’s my last year of uni and I have to write assignments and a 10,000 word (not as many words as you’d think) dissertation (it’s going to be on linguistics, literacies, and comics — the working title is 'Holy literacies, Batman!'). I also have a semi-regular job working for my university (as a student subject ambassador), and I have to finish my applications so I can get into a Masters programme next year, and it's all very ... surreal, but cool.

In other news: I turned twenty last month, yay! I'm still having seizures, boo. I've been in and out of three countries (China, India, England) this past year, not sure what emotion to put here. I watched The Get Down (an amazing quality show that I can recommend to you with complete sincerity and faith) and am watching Smallville (an amazing trash show that I can't in good conscience inflict upon you) and I love both of them very much. Pokemon Go is really good for exercise and when I'm stressed and I'm Team Mystic. My plants are still alive and beautiful. I make a delicious carrot cake. Life's gone on.

That's about it. I just wanted to say — sorry, and thank you, and I miss you, and I hope you're well. Diwali's in a week and a day, so — happy early Diwali. Lots of light and love.

Batman out.

Heart

  • Listening to: I Grieve by Peter Gabriel
  • Reading: A different kind of reading (Sabeti, 2013)
  • Watching: Smallville
  • Eating: saag paneer and rice

Journal History

Comments


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:iconthelunalily:
TheLunaLily Featured By Owner Sep 13, 2018  Hobbyist Writer
Happy birthday!
Reply
:iconcrumpetsharvey:
CrumpetsHarvey Featured By Owner May 26, 2016   Writer
Your "I haven't replied to you yet because" list is the cutest and truest thing I've ever read.
Reply
:iconmuscularteeth:
muscularteeth Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2015
Thank you for the :+fav:s!!
Reply
:iconvfreie:
VFreie Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2015
Oh damn, I was 100% sure your birthday was today, not yesterday D: Sorrysorrysorry.

Happy... uh, un-birthday!
Reply
:iconvigilo:
Vigilo Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2015  Student Writer
Don't worry about it! :lol: And, belatedly, thanks. :dummy: :heart:
Reply
:iconhugqueen:
HugQueen Featured By Owner Sep 13, 2015   Writer
Happy birthday, my most loveliest Ilo-bear. ♥
Reply
:iconvigilo:
Vigilo Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2015  Student Writer
Thank you, lovely! :heart:
Reply
:iconthekerwinator:
TheKerwinator Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2015  Professional Writer
Thank you for the +fav !La la la la 
Reply
:iconnawkaman:
nawkaman Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for the fave! :heart:
Reply
:iconvigilo:
Vigilo Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2015  Student Writer
It was my pleasure! :heart:
Reply
:iconhugqueen:
HugQueen Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2015   Writer
:tighthug: ILY
Reply
:iconvigilo:
Vigilo Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2015  Student Writer
right back at you babe :glomp: :heart:
Reply
:iconhugqueen:
HugQueen Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2015   Writer
:smooch: <3
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2015   General Artist
Tag a quality deviant: You’re it! Quality doesn’t mean that you have a lot of followers, or a lot of messages. It means that you’re nice to other people, and you deserve to be happy. If you get this message, someone is telling you that they love you as you are, and they don’t care how much followers you have. Send this to 10 deviants who deserve it. If you break the chain, nothing will happen. But it’s just good to let someone know that you love them! Heart
Reply
:iconvigilo:
Vigilo Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2015  Student Writer
Aw, you're a sweetheart - thank you, lovely! :glomp: :heart:
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2015   General Artist
and you an absolute treasure of a human being! :blowkiss: :heart:
Reply
:iconsolarune:
Solarune Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2014   Writer
TWO DAYS! :iconlachoirplz:
Reply
:iconvigilo:
Vigilo Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2014  Student Writer
LESS THAN A DAY. :faint:
Reply
:iconsolarune:
Solarune Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2014   Writer
8 DAYS :la: 
Reply
:iconvigilo:
Vigilo Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2014  Student Writer
FIVE NOW! :iconohnoesohplz: (replace the 'noes' with 'yes')
Reply
:iconsolarune:
Solarune Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2014   Writer
:rofl: You're the best. :heart:
Reply
:iconvigilo:
Vigilo Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2014  Student Writer
:iconnouplz: :heart:
Reply
:iconmonstroooo:
monstroooo Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2014  Professional Writer
V, that feature is absolutely ridiculous. I'm going to be smiling for days on end. 

Thank you so, so much.
Reply
:iconvigilo:
Vigilo Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2014  Student Writer
Not at all - I'm so glad that you thought it was a good one! It was really my pleasure utterly. :heart:
Reply
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