literature

Blueprint Girl

Deviation Actions

Vegetabelle's avatar
By

Literature Text

Her
Overwhelming, sinking heartbreak;
Realization of bite-down-hard ache:
She was never her own person
In his eyes.
Nearly mortal injury--
Gash over old scars again.
He only ever compared her to
The other girl.
Just a replacement for
The one that he could never have;
Me.
Rage.
Betrayal.
You're happy to turn her,
Unsuspecting,
Into a carbon copy of me;
To make my existence
Her never-good-enough hell.
Selfish.

But now, I am the standard:
Independent, think-outside-the-box girl,
Defiant, got-something-to-prove girl;
The prototype:
Mostly-self-assured girl,
Gives-you-good-advice girl.
The blueprint stolen from a building that
You. Never. Owned. Me.
You try to erase her lines
To make hers more like mine
Because she was already just so similar.
The problem is
The background is different scenery
And your eraser can’t remove the ink
Without friction burns in the paper--
Delicate, breathtaking artistry
That you were too busy “fixing” to notice.
Or perhaps it was ignoring
Everything but the resemblance to
Me.
3rd Poem for NaPoWriMo2013. (I know I haven't posted the others yet. I'm just super-happy about this one.) There are several visual and auditory devices as well as other literary devices.

Inspired by the thought that when a someone is comparing a significant other, perhaps the person being compared to wouldn't want to be being compared to.

Check out my audio recording of this poem here: soundcloud.com/babydollvain/bl… which you can download as dA premium content.
Published:
© 2013 - 2021 Vegetabelle
Comments8
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RedSuzanne's avatar
Beautifully done. Well crafted comparison.
Vegetabelle's avatar
h2obear's avatar
That was amazing! It really spoke to my heart.
h2obear's avatar
I had something similar to what "Blueprint Girl" is talking about happen to one of my friends not to long ago.
Vegetabelle's avatar
Aw! I'm sorry for them. It can be frustrating.
angelenroute's avatar
Very well done! I'm trying to catch up on poems from my We-Poets group and just read this one. It caught my attention right away and I could tell you were a great writer. Nice job!
Vegetabelle's avatar
Oh my goodness! Thank you! That is very kind. I'm glad to know it caught your attention. That's a good sign! Thank you for reading it!
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