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A big thanks to J0in for granting me a 3 month subscription - you are awesome! I've been a bit busy lately as it's the end of the final university year for me, but I'll probably brainstorm and submit something very-very soon and try not to disappoint. The Luminarium is also cooking up something very exciting, be sure to check it!

Also, is anyone else excited as fuck for Brink? It's coming out May 13th around these parts and seems to be an excellent blend of good old Enemy Territory and Mirror's Edge. When I was a tad younger, Enemy Territory was pretty much the only game I was playing daily for well over 2 years. It has been single handedly the best multiplayer shooter experience I've ever had. Sure, TF2 was fun with the community and all, but ET was on a whole different level of skill and gameplay. It was ruthless, it was fast, it was a challenge and thus utterly enjoyable.

Let's hope Splash Damage nails the multiplayer FPS formula with this one.

:iconsythiel: :iconwass3r: :iconhullus: :iconundershadow: :iconhemloque: :iconmetagalaxy: :iconnur-nur: :iconespirette: :iconreptiledragon: :iconendrico: :icontimjacker: :iconmaxar: :iconarlian-san: :iconsetite: :iconzozen: :iconsmaripuu: :iconaudiophobic: :iconpyromaania: :iconchaosducky: :iconqlar: :iconmopsicle: :iconthezin: :iconxf-ader: :iconphoenix-v02: :iconanaphrodisiac:

:iconsythiel: :iconwass3r: :iconhullus: :iconundershadow: :iconhemloque: :iconmetagalaxy: :iconnur-nur: :iconespirette: :iconreptiledragon: :iconendrico: :icontimjacker: :iconmaxar: :iconarlian-san: :iconsetite: :iconzozen: :iconsmaripuu: :iconaudiophobic: :iconpyromaania: :iconchaosducky: :iconqlar: :iconmopsicle: :iconthezin: :iconxf-ader: :iconphoenix-v02: :iconanaphrodisiac:

Today this somewhat sudden drop of temperature and flash-snow reminded me the only thing I hate about winter: ice. It's bloody everywhere. It's on the goddamn road, in your martini glass, even on your toothbrush (somebody left the kitchen window open, don't ask)
Also today is the day when a great man, an evil mastermind, and a very good mentor met his demise. God bless him. (John Kramer, for those of you who don't have a clue)


:iconsythiel: :iconhullus: :iconnur-nur: :iconendrico: :iconzozen: :iconsmaripuu: :iconaudiophobic: :iconparalogism: :iconmaxar: :iconanaphrodisiac: :iconvaporization:
:iconsythiel: :iconhullus: :iconnur-nur: :iconendrico: :iconzozen: :iconsmaripuu: :iconaudiophobic: :iconparalogism: :iconmaxar: :iconanaphrodisiac: :iconvaporization:
Recently a very good friend of mine made a statement. He's one of the few who I trust and respect. The statement itself was rather shocking and I had a very hard time swallowing it. At first I thought it was a joke, but when I looked straight at him I realised he wasn't joking.
His face was dead serious  and well, rather scary too.

I've had some time to think about what he said... and sadly, it's all true. Those words have been haunting me all day and all night, and I just can't get them out of my head. They kind of put my very being and what I do in serious doubt. They also made me realise I've lost my 'third eye'. The eye of a third person, to see everything from the perspective of a third person. It usually helped me make decisions and be neutral and straightforward about all the stuff I do. My attitude has changed from being calm and right-to-the-point to crazy, moody, and ignorant. You might even sum them up with words like 'blind' or 'aggression'. And I hate that about myself. What's worse, my 'art' has suffered because of it. The composition, colours, ideas, and quality of recent work's are dull. The blue isn't just as blue as it used to be, and the emotion it's supposed to represent isn't just like it's mean't to be, if it has any emotion at all. I guess I could blame it all on rushing the pieces and not thinking everything through. Building them all up on emotion and not really caring about small mistakes. Now I know you're supposed to have emotion when creating something, I mean, everything starts with emotion. But you're also supposed to have a clear head and a plan on how you're going to 'pull it through' to the very end. I remember myself being a perfectionist about small details and composition and... and just about everything. Now I even find it hard to grab an eraser and delete some of the smaller mistakes.

In conclusion, I'm lacking inspiration and style. I've lost what I had, but I've also gained something (because that's the way it works) Problem being - I've yet to realise how to use the element what I've gained in my new work. For now I'm just taking things as slow as possible and trying to think everything through. Constantly reminding myself that rushing is bad and I'm supposed to measure twice, cut once. I'm not deleting my gallery or anything, just letting you know that from this point on I put as much effort as I can into every single piece I do. That said, expect something big. Oh and, the statement... it basically was "all of your recent stuff sucks, get a grip!"

Wanna join the family? Note me.

:iconsythiel: :iconendrico: :iconmaxar: :iconanaphrodisiac: :iconvaporization: darn good in eating breakfast at 14:08. I woke up a little while ago and I must say that I'm not liking what I'm seeing. The rooms are all messed up, the toilet stinks, there are teabags scattered all around my room, the window has some bird poo right in the middle of it, and all the flowers have dried up. You see, I've been living alone for like, the past 2 months now? (ALREADY? What the...) And everything is falling apart. Yes, quite literally even. Guess it's time for some serious cleaning action and whatever. Pheh, next time the council of who-cares-about-anything (now known as 'slaves') visits me I'm assigning them on cleaning duty. You break it, you buy it, you clean it, and you give me a foot massage. Thank you, come again.

Oh and, here's a short summary of what I've been doing lately: themovieslostmyglassespaintingmagichasgotaholdofmeagainbutnotasseriouslyaslasttimelotsofdndandevengmingtosomepeepswhoapparentlyloveitalthoughtherearentanycombatroundsandyouactuallyhavetoroleplaywhichisquitedifficultforpowergamersifyouknowwhatimeanfixedthecomputerrearrangedmyroomwenttothefolkfestivalstarvedtoomuchandactuallyimstillstarving
lostajobofferstudyingforexamswhichareinliketwentysevendaysgottalovephysicsthemelancholyofharuhisuzumiyaorwhateverisinsanegoingtohiiumaatomorrowwithmyloved one.

Now... try reading 'partyvan' backwards and see what you get. No music recommendations this time. Try the veal.
The Prodigy concert owned. The ringing in my ears doesn't. They've been ringing for like over 30 hours now. IT JUST WONT STOP! We were in the front row and right next to the bigass speaker system... should've worn earplugs. Ah, well, I'll know next time.
Anyway, the concert owned (yes, again) I got to touch Maxim Reality (I'm never washing this hand again) and jump so much that practically all of my intestines came out. Oh and, I've never seen so many people sing "Poison" at the same time. Fucking wicked.

I'll go crawl under my oversized rock now. Haven't been feeling very artsy lately. Have been feeling lots of happiness and love though. Feels like heaven.
Damn hair. Hair in my eyes, hair in my mouth, hair in my nose, hair in my ears, hair damn everywhere. There's even hair on my morning sandwich. Hair in my darn good espresso. Hair in the sink...
I'm sure you get it by now ^^; Barber ahoy! Speaking of hair... I even have some gray hair. Mom told me that it's in the genes and that I'll probably be all gray by the time I reach 25 or so. Yippiee, I guess.

I've been watching alot of those hollywood super-woman movies lately (was bored, shoot me) Aeon Flux, Underworld: Evolution and such. Well, actually just not me but Sythiel and Maxar too. Somewhat shitty acting and really lacks story... atleast they look fuggen' schmexeh. Eyecandy most definitely. We'll probably go watch Ultraviolet as well. Just BECAUSE :|

Been to the theatre quite alot lately too. Must. See. More.

Oh and, this saturday is the meeting of club asashio. - more info here. If you're estonian and a fan of anime, I advise you to take part. I'll most definitely be there :D Will be wearing a bulls-eye cape, grey jeans and some good ol' black wings. Can't miss me.

Enough talk about my life for today.
Yesterday was the gathering of the Council of Noobs. The first time we 'towned' over a month. Seven samurais, lots of gametalk, some rather pointless dungeon crawling, which was funny to say the least. Well, funny if you count out the getting gnawed to death by rats part. After that fun activity, the other two peasants left. Heretics.
So, me and Blood-Drop-Of-Lucifer went pizza hunting. We scored four slices full of nourishment and devoured 'em all in a beastly manner at some bus-station. A while later The-Very-Spawn-Of-Satan departed for his bus. He didnt feel like flying home that day. It was bloody cold outside. I vanished too shortly after that.
It's actually sad that two of us couldnt even make it to the gathering : Should put them on a leash next time. Or atleast threaten one of them by deleting her RO character :> Hua.

About 3-4 songs own on the new In Flames album.
The Constantine OST brings back good memories.
And I'm not feeling very artsy. There's just something bothering me but I can't put my finger on it. Disturbing.

Til twilight!


I became a member of inner-space. Wish me luck :)
As you might of noticed my subscription expires tomorrow. Had it for a year and it just wasnt worth the money. Seemed like a good idea at that time, but then again alot of things did. I'm always learning things the hard way, damnit :D It's a bad habit.

Oh and, acquired a new screen. A 19 inch Samsung LCD (700:1 contrast and a 8ms response) I swear, it's like the world has reborn :| THIS one that is. Also got a neat new mouse to go with it. With horizontal and vertical scrolling action. Of course its wireless too.

Ah, take care.
  • Listening to: Static X - Otsego Undead
  • Reading: ...HAH.
  • Watching: Dead Men Walking
Whoa, it's been a while since I last wrote anything in here. Like, 40 days. Over a bloody month. And I've only submitted one thing in the meanwhile. One meazly little thing. Talk about lack of 'something' :D

Alot has happened though. The new year's party was a blast? Never been so drunk. So I kind of made a promise to myself not to drink a single drop of alcohol during this year. Man, that was horrible. Hehe, a certain somebody promised to take me out dancing on my birthday night (which is like bloody next saturday) We'll just get to see how that turns out, won't we?

Christmas kind of sucked. But it always does, so it doesn't really matter.
Um, I got a job. And currently am in the middle or rather at the end of finishing one project which deadline is by like... monday? Oh god. Well, it's coo anyway.

12th january rocked my socks off, literally. Won't tell you much more about that.

Aaaaand today is the guildpact pre-release, which I'm not attending. I mean, c'mon, you must be mad to spend over 200.- on some cards :D I'll just loot some from müffu later on.

Oh, and be sure to check out some of these bands.. well, or ELSE.

Sabaton - Primo victoria - Basically power metal about second world war. Even Robert liked it, and he's not even into power.
Team Sleep - <3
SPF 1000 - The next best thing after Wumpscut. For me atleast.
Killswitch Engage - I'm SO mad that I just recently found out about this band. Earlier I thought it sucked because I only listened to like one song and based my opinion on that. When Darkness Falls is the song that you should be looking for.

Hell, I'd better get to work. Going out later and I really DON'T feel like working the whole night. Toodles.
Sunday friggin sunday. A day full of boredom. Everybody is tired and all they want to do is sleep. As for me, I'm not going to sit in this damned apartment yet another day. I'll probably spend the day in town and enjoy some of that fiiiiiiine cappuccino. Also have to think some things through... so that'll give me enough time.

Tea & Deftones. Change, the acoustic version.
Oh hell. These mornings feel so good. Don't have any specific time that I have to wake up at, dont have to go anywhere. I can just put on my favourite tracks, turn the volume to almost max and just.. be. Later on I just have to create some things in photoshop and that's the end of my 'working day'.

Coffee puts a smile on my face.

Lost Prophets - Last train home too.
Ignore the subject. It's totally irrelevant at the moment.
My eyesight is -1.25. Like I found out the day before. It's a sign that I've been sitting behind this damned screen for too long. New glasses and contact lenses ahoi. Lenses are pretty neat, but they're a bitch to use at first.

Now I'm going to rearrange the room so that it will be very uncomfortable living in here. Why? It makes me do other more important stuff more. I wont be sitting behind this, this... thing when it's fucking uncomfortable.

Some feelings would be nice too from time to time.
Yes, I got it! I got the Rob Dougan album! Even with the bonus CD and all. Now I have to buy :iconevilart13: a cup of coffee :D A promise is a promise.
But it's just so good. Reminds me of last year too much. Too many nostalgic moments and way too many memories associated with some of the songs. Heh. I wouldnt replace them with anything...

AP123 has an 'idea'. I was granted permission to take part of this 'idea' :D The 'idea' is that everybody makes a sci-fi deviation based on one of the chemical elements. Later on they'll all get combined and become one bigass poster. Still havent decided which element to take. Any thoughts? Guess I should hurry, too.

Quake 4 sucks. Period.

And Ghost in the shell: SAC 2nd gig looks very promising. Oh wait, it IS. Watched all the episodes up to 20... I was blown away. It's it's its... I'ts just so DARN GOOD. Still five more to go. Expectations are high.

Tomorrow is the usual gathering of the forces.. Namely Maxar and Sythiel and myself. And some other people. The usual tea and the two hour chat followed by some walking and lots of laughing. Departure shortly after that. Need to get out of this apartment. I realised that this is actually the first week when during which I've done absolutely nothing. Sleep - school - sleep - eat - sleep - school over and over and over again.

Yarr, it's driving me nuts.
  • Listening to: Rob Dougan - I'm not driving anymore |instrumental
Okay, the song is actually alot more happy than the name :D Honestly.

And now on with the topic. Nobody bothers to read it anyway so I can just feel quite carefree about writing anything :)
The goddamn Seven Samurai tea is just bloody good. We whored it at Double Coffee with the 'gang' almost every time we were there. In fact, it was basically the only reason why we went there in the first place. And now I just recently found out where they sell it seperately. I didnt actually search for it, I ran into some isle at the market and spotted it. Lucky shot, eh? Now take a wild guess what I'm drinking. Harr.

F.E.A.R. is F.U.C.K.I.N.G. good. It's still scares the damn living daylights out of me. And I played it like.. 8:30AM? For like two hours straight :| The creepy little girl is a cliché, but still a nice touch. And Paxton Fettel himself is really a masterpiece of a character. Of course the graphics and the combat and the blah blah blah, you know.. whatever is darn good too. Really REALLY helps to let out some steam.

Samurai Champloo is turning out to be one of my favourite animes. Words can't express what I feel about it :D I mean, my god. Thanks alot Kaia :icongenky:!

Bhah I'll maybe even try to create something today or tomorrow. It's about the mood, it's all about the mood. I reckoned that I'll go back to people manipulations and leave that somewhat pointless eyecandy (hah, if it even can be called that) behind. You know what I'm talking about. The usual cloud meets terrain pictures with lots of sunbeams and other shit. I'm sure that some people are fucking sick of it. I can name atleast one! neutral-cat for sure :D

Beam me up Scotty!
  • Listening to: Milia - Writhe in pain
Every person was just a silhouette gliding to somewhere, into the arms of someone. That would have been something worth smiling for, if I only could've kept my eyes open. As I lurked from shadow to shadow, getting nearer to my haven with every second... CUT. It hit me again. I fell to the ground and felt someone going through my pockets. It wasnt long until the second blow was delivered and footsteps marched off into the distance. I caught a final breath with my blood filled lungs. After that it's all darkness. Just the sound of leaves dancing death.
Ha, it's even almost funny. Although it never happened. I have no idea why I wrote that. Somebody sue me.
  • Listening to: Rob Dougan - Born yesterday
Damnit. I can't say that I love fall:D I love winter. I love summer. And I just wish that there were only those two. Fall is like... well, depressing. Yay for the magical D word.
Nothing much has been happening lately. Met this really really really nice person. Just okay, too nice. And got my new computer, finally. So the past week was full of everything else EXCEPT nolifing behind the computer. Pft typical. I must be using my defy logic skills passively again.
Met genky after a long time. She harassed me with her damn camera -.0 I dont like being in front of the damn thing. Anyway, I'll get some anime from her.
BIG HUG :hug:

Anyway, beer & LOTR.
  • Listening to: Chronix Aggression Radio
  • Watching: Lord of The Rings
A day like any other with the exeption of being the most boring day of the week. The usual breakfast at 13:00 and the usual trip to the market. And after that, guess what? The usual apartment cleaning. After that fun activity, which can only be compared to watching snales race, the weather turns shitty and it starts to rain so all the 'plans' (HAH!) are basically cancelled. That and of course the fact that I'm not feeling very good. AS USUAL.
The only thing keeping my mood somewhat up right now is probably Gorillaz. Damn, I'm beginning to love that happy and also somewhat creepy music. Usually not into this sort of stuff.

Oh and, maybe even getting a job. All I gotta do is play games and I'm getting paid for it. What are the odds.

Lol away.
  • Listening to: Gorillaz - Feel Good Inc.
  • Watching: The Longest Yard
For absolutely nothing! I'm sick and I have to be home this goddamn weekend and I don't have any money and -whine, whine, whine- Etc, etc, bla, bla.

Oh wait, the Ravnica pre-release. Ookay, leaving.
And happy birthday :icongenky: :D :hug:
  • Listening to: Wumpscut - Christfuck