Reflection gave up celibacy, and surrendered. He loved the warm sloppy kisses on his cool, clean glass.
"More, Vanityrapeface, more," he cried.
"I'll give me all I got," replied the young man as he kissed the iridescent framed mirror over and over. He loved himself very much, and this was the perfect way to show how much he cared.
He picked up the framed looking-glass in both hands, embracing it and kissing it, carrying it to his bed.
Suddenly, he stopped, heard an ear-piercing shatter, and flinched away from the glass pieces which were sprinkling to the floor. He then went to fetch the vacuum cleaner.