Deviation Actions

Van-Syl-Production's avatar

The Royal Command Structure


Badge Awards

Location  Terra Aluvis


TERRA ALUVIS VOL. 1 OUT NOW: van-syl-production.deviantart.…


This is a little information sheet about the command structure within the Realm of Mankind in my story Terra Aluvis.
It explains what Henxians, Lunids, Xornids and Kayranians actually are - and what Sacris actually has to do with them.

The world map of Terra Aluvis: Terra Aluvis - Old Illustrated Map (english) by Van-Syl-Production

Enjoy and share thoughts :) (Smile)

- Nox

I am open for commissions! van-syl-production.deviantart.…

Read extracts: van-syl-production.deviantart.…

Listen to the soundtrack: van-syl-production.deviantart.…

More from Terra Aluvis: van-syl-production.deviantart.…

Shall we dance ...? by Van-Syl-Production The Third Sanctuary of Light by Van-Syl-Production The Master and His Disciple by Van-Syl-Production Rise and Fall by Van-Syl-Production
©2014 Van Syl Production
Do not use it in any way.
Follow me ;) (Wink)

Image size
1900x2850px 9.19 MB
© 2014 - 2023 Van-Syl-Production
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
phrase-maker's avatar
Hard to know how to critique a piece like this.  The illustrations are very well done and the paper-background effect excellent.  The descriptions of each city are solid if a little cliched.  A phonetic pronunciation would also be helpful - is Xorn 'shorn' or 'ksorn'?  Are there variations of dialect for the names between each part? (e.g. Bayern is "Bavaria" to the English, but also "Bayre" in Alemannic and "Bayan" in Franconian, both dialects spoken within the Freistaat - people differ even within the same geography)

A map would also be handy to help visualise things, given that you describe general directions (is 'Dragon bay connecting the north and the south' of the kingdom?  If so, how can Lun be the center of trade between the north and the south when Xorn is the only one that can navigate it?)

I don't quite get a feel for a story from this set of descriptions - no doubt it's there and obvious to anyone who has enough Deutsch to read the first chapter, but a bit more foregrounding would be helpful to make readers really curious about what's going to happen to these places.