I created a GoFundMe. I honestly never wanted to do this. Asking for help is hard for me and it always makes me feel uncomfortable, but I really need help. I feel desperate, stressed out, and a little panicked about money a lot of the time. If this goes well, it will be one less thing for me to worry about right now. Thank you. PS. Please spread the word, if you don't mind.

www.gofundme.com/vampirelenior…

So, just a quick update. I just found out I have cancer again. I am really traumatized right now. I was still recovering from the last time I had cancer (11 months ago) and still hadn't gotten to really do things again. This time, I don't have savings. This time I am going into this with an already badly damaged body and the cancer hurts so much more. I am terrified and sad, pissed off and jealous of people who get to be healthy. Honestly, if I disappear all of a sudden, it probably means I'm not alive anymore. 

If you have to take a message from what I am going through, I have a few: always treat sick, elderly, and disabled people with the utmost respect and try to remember their pain and allow that to influence your treatment of them (I have had a surprising amount of people treat me terribly since the first time I was sick, including people laughing at me and making fun of me for being bald and wearing a surgical mask at the groceries store, which is necessary because chemo wrecks your immune system). Another thing is not everyone has the luxury of living a full lifetime. There won't always be another day in which you can achieve something you wish to, go somewhere you want to, or to become the person you've always wanted to be. Everything you have, every ability you have is precious and can be taken from you in a year, a month, a day, or even an hour. Even children die every day. We all think it won't be us something like this happens to, but that sort of thing is out of our control. Please don't say to yourself that someday you can do something you want to do. If you are in a relationship with a bad person, leave them. Now is the time to be happy with who you are and your life.