I went in to see the radiologist yesterday and got my little tattoos and a scan. I start radiation on Monday. It will be five days a week for 5-6 weeks. Honestly, I am really scared. I am scared of the complications, how my skin will hold up, and what I will look like afterward.
A couple of the biggest complications that frighten me have to do with my heart and lung being right there, the possibility of getting skin cancer down the line, and delayed wound healing in the future when I get surgeries there again. That's just to name a few, but there is a long list of things that could go wrong with radiation, as with everything.
I got called in for jury duty and that is not something I am physically able to do, so I am nervous that they are going to try to make me, or try to call me in later this year (last time I did chemo, I was still very unwell a year out). So, I've been really stressed out about that. I got a note from my doctor, so hopefully they accept that.
I got sick with a cold or flu on the 26th, so I am dealing with that. My sinuses are very unhappy right now, but aside from that and my health in general, my holidays have been enjoyable. I hope you all are well and enjoyed yours also. Thank you to everyone and, as always, any donations or shares of my gofundme campaign are deeply appreciated. Thank you so much.
Go Fund Me:
www.gofundme.com/vampirelenior…
vampireleniore
Bad CharlotteCherry Blossom
Mature Content
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- Listening to: Lycia-Later
- Reading: Brom-Krumpus
- Watching: Bird Box
- Playing: Heretic
- Eating: healthy strawberry, chocolate, & spinach smoothie
- Drinking: water
- Listening to: Madame Edwarda-Entranger
- Reading: Brom-Krumpus
- Watching: Attack on Titan
- Playing: Hexen 2
- Eating: salad, grapes, an apple, and a piece of toast
- Drinking: water
I created a GoFundMe. I honestly never wanted to do this. Asking for help is hard for me and it always makes me feel uncomfortable, but I really need help. I feel desperate, stressed out, and a little panicked about money a lot of the time. If this goes well, it will be one less thing for me to worry about right now. Thank you. PS. Please spread the word, if you don't mind.
www.gofundme.com/vampirelenior…
www.gofundme.com/vampirelenior…
- Listening to: Neva - Louchald
- Reading: Maid Sama
- Watching: Are You Afraid of the Dark?
- Playing: Candy Crush
- Eating: smoothie
- Drinking: pumpkin spice tea
So, just a quick update. I just found out I have cancer again. I am really traumatized right now. I was still recovering from the last time I had cancer (11 months ago) and still hadn't gotten to really do things again. This time, I don't have savings. This time I am going into this with an already badly damaged body and the cancer hurts so much more. I am terrified and sad, pissed off and jealous of people who get to be healthy. Honestly, if I disappear all of a sudden, it probably means I'm not alive anymore.
If you have to take a message from what I am going through, I have a few: always treat sick, elderly, and disabled people with the utmost respect and try to remember their pain and allow that to influence your treatment of them (I have had a surprising amount of people treat me terribly since the first time I was sick, including people laughing at me and making fun of me for being bald and wearing a surgical mask at the groceries store, which is necessary because chemo wrecks your immune system). Another thing is not everyone has the luxury of living a full lifetime. There won't always be another day in which you can achieve something you wish to, go somewhere you want to, or to become the person you've always wanted to be. Everything you have, every ability you have is precious and can be taken from you in a year, a month, a day, or even an hour. Even children die every day. We all think it won't be us something like this happens to, but that sort of thing is out of our control. Please don't say to yourself that someday you can do something you want to do. If you are in a relationship with a bad person, leave them. Now is the time to be happy with who you are and your life.
If you have to take a message from what I am going through, I have a few: always treat sick, elderly, and disabled people with the utmost respect and try to remember their pain and allow that to influence your treatment of them (I have had a surprising amount of people treat me terribly since the first time I was sick, including people laughing at me and making fun of me for being bald and wearing a surgical mask at the groceries store, which is necessary because chemo wrecks your immune system). Another thing is not everyone has the luxury of living a full lifetime. There won't always be another day in which you can achieve something you wish to, go somewhere you want to, or to become the person you've always wanted to be. Everything you have, every ability you have is precious and can be taken from you in a year, a month, a day, or even an hour. Even children die every day. We all think it won't be us something like this happens to, but that sort of thing is out of our control. Please don't say to yourself that someday you can do something you want to do. If you are in a relationship with a bad person, leave them. Now is the time to be happy with who you are and your life.
Lace and Roses
I am doing physical therapy right now. The pain has been really bad, but I am trying to get by right now emotionally, physically, and monetarily. Cancer hasn't been fun, but here's me putting some effort into taking a picture myself. I don't have the best camera in the world, but hopefully you guys like it.
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Grace and Beauty 2
I was going through my old modeling pictures and came across these. I think I never remembered to look at it or something because I never posted any of these. I really love this shot. Shot by Grace and Beauty (I think this is from six years ago).
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- Listening to: Lycia-Later
- Reading: Brom-Krumpus
- Watching: Bird Box
- Playing: Heretic
- Eating: healthy strawberry, chocolate, & spinach smoothie
- Drinking: water
I went in to see the radiologist yesterday and got my little tattoos and a scan. I start radiation on Monday. It will be five days a week for 5-6 weeks. Honestly, I am really scared. I am scared of the complications, how my skin will hold up, and what I will look like afterward.
A couple of the biggest complications that frighten me have to do with my heart and lung being right there, the possibility of getting skin cancer down the line, and delayed wound healing in the future when I get surgeries there again. That's just to name a few, but there is a long list of things that could go wrong with radiation, as with everything.
I got called in for jury duty and that is not something I am physically able to do, so I am nervous that they are going to try to make me, or try to call me in later this year (last time I did chemo, I was still very unwell a year out). So, I've been really stressed out about that. I got a note from my doctor, so hopefully they accept that.
I got sick with a cold or flu on the 26th, so I am dealing with that. My sinuses are very unhappy right now, but aside from that and my health in general, my holidays have been enjoyable. I hope you all are well and enjoyed yours also. Thank you to everyone and, as always, any donations or shares of my gofundme campaign are deeply appreciated. Thank you so much.
Go Fund Me:
www.gofundme.com/vampirelenior…
A couple of the biggest complications that frighten me have to do with my heart and lung being right there, the possibility of getting skin cancer down the line, and delayed wound healing in the future when I get surgeries there again. That's just to name a few, but there is a long list of things that could go wrong with radiation, as with everything.
I got called in for jury duty and that is not something I am physically able to do, so I am nervous that they are going to try to make me, or try to call me in later this year (last time I did chemo, I was still very unwell a year out). So, I've been really stressed out about that. I got a note from my doctor, so hopefully they accept that.
I got sick with a cold or flu on the 26th, so I am dealing with that. My sinuses are very unhappy right now, but aside from that and my health in general, my holidays have been enjoyable. I hope you all are well and enjoyed yours also. Thank you to everyone and, as always, any donations or shares of my gofundme campaign are deeply appreciated. Thank you so much.
Go Fund Me:
www.gofundme.com/vampirelenior…
deviantID
vampireleniore
Bad Charlotte
United States
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I'm vampireleniore. I'm open for art commissions and photoshoots. You can also buy signed prints and original artworks from me. Current Residence: Modesto, Ca deviantWEAR sizing preference: small/medium Print preference: 8X10 Favourite genre of music: industrial, new wave, rock, metal, punk, post punk, classical Favourite photographer: Aesthetic Alchemy, Porcelain Poet, Isaac Madera, Le Mew Favourite style of art: Surreal and dark Favourite cartoon character: Lenore, Gir, Randall from Ugly Americans (and Leonard). Personal Quote: Reality is for those who lack imagination |
