ValeriyaSegal

So... 3 days ago was my birthday. And at last it was very lovely, started the day earlier when the first rain fell here, loading the air with the smell of wet earth and plants. I celebrated my birthday in a restaurant that I've wanted to visit for probably 10 years but never got the chance. I enjoyed it a lot with the surrounding of dearest friends. Following the good news that finally there is a cease fire and today all living hostages in Gaza were released and returned to Israel. Usually good things are followed with bad things. Being the apocaloptimist I am, I always hope for the best but deep inside I know that it's temporary and only a matter of time until Hamas will break the ceasefire and start shooting missiles again or maybe it will be the Houties or Iran. It's kinda frustrating living from war to war, living as a child through the second Intifada where riding the bus doesn't guarantee your safe travel home as any moment a suicide bomber can enter and blowup the whole bus

So tonight a ballistic missile fell 1 k"m from my home. I was in a bomb shelter as when any siren is on, the sound of the impact was very loud and sounded so close. Sadly it was a direct hit into an apartment's bomb shelter and the people who were inside that bomb shelter didn't survive. The bomb shelters are better than nothing of course and they do protect very well from blasts and shrapnel but unfortunately upon direct hit from a ballistic missile with heavily loaded warhead, the chances to survive are low. So sad to live under such reality where you're in constant fear for your life. It's okay to be anxious and afraid, that's what's naturally keeps us safe. But how much one can endure?

So I was in a "shvoong" of submitting my works more frequently, but since the escalation in the war in Israel I got stressed again. The exploding of the ballistic missiles are very well heard in my city, and even in a bomb shelter it's very scary. I can barely function right now, barely sleep (mostly because of the sirens), feel kind of "paralized" and really struggling to make myself do anything useful. On the other hand all this running to bomb shelters maybe will get me fit 😅