A part of me wishes to be active around these parts. It's been 15 years of lurking at and learning from other deviants. This space feels familiar, nostalgic and almost safe from becoming another mere cloud where you have to pay, pay, pay to submit.
We've all moved onto other platforms... most of them managed by the same company who uses annoying algorithms and misuse of data. We, as a whole chunk of creatives trying to find our place globally, complain about such things yet we keep posting on those social media apps like a plague.
I miss writing, a lot. Back in the days blogging gave me purpose, even if no one was reading. (Talk about self care.) Here's a 12am word vomit in the vein of those irreplaceable livejournal days, with barely any proof reading as I would so often work in my now deceased blog.
"You cannot build a house for last year’s summer." — Ethiopian proverb
Tonight, I'm at the place where it all started. I was 15 years old.
Everything has changed.
This city is not what it used to be and yet fifteen years ago, I wanted to escape from this place. I knew there was a certain chaos hiding between the walls. In fact, the economical crisis of the country was already a relevant forecast. Ironically, not the hasty global warming.
I believe it is natural for things to transform over time and I've learned to adapt quickly among distressing situations, yes. But all of a sudden the planet keeps spinning and one starts to loose pace.
I've lost material belongings that may or may not have had a special meaning. I've lost memories. Hundreds of megabytes have disappeared from my disks and sight. Now-a-days, if there's no picture nor entry it didn't happen. But perhaps our brains choose to capture information and tuck it away at the dark side of our moons, lingering and waiting to be explored.
Sometimes I pour the essence of ideas into a sketch or a photograph. So that my head becomes lighter, and thus I can keep on absorbing information. It's very important to never stop learning, to always find newness.
I haven't lost the feeling of the forest or the laugh at the coast. I still love exactly the same people I choose to love 15 years ago, and perhaps I've added more folk and cats to that list which is terribly beautiful. I'm joyous of being able to expand and if I respect you, I hope you are able to transform continuously as well.
"E é mais fácil começar do zero que consertar o que quebrou." — Ventre
There are several theories and proverbs that talk about having to revisit our origin in order to get back on track. That one should be accepting of what we are so that we can move forward. You know, research your history so that you don't make the same mistakes. And perhaps all that can serve as a guide as long as one makes a moderate investigation, just don't become a prey of past fears and routines.
Whatever the case, may this mark an end. Starting is the only way forward. (Organization is key.)
I desire to become so fluid, a transformative movement that avoids stillness. To emerge and not forget... I need it as much as anyone else stretching it's fingers to grasp onto air, water and soil.
Off we go to celebrate each upcoming adventure. (Don't forget to dance honestly.)