First they're awesome, fast, and high quality, and secondly I can finally remove my Mail Stuff bag from my truck!
“I do,” said the raven.
The raven fluffed its beard. “I am the Sound of Mouse Bones Crunching Under the Hooves of God.”
Gerta blinked a few times. “That’s…quite a name.”
“I made it myself,” said the raven, preening. “I stole the very shiniest words and hoarded them all up until they made something worth having. ‘Sound’ and 'God’ were particularly well-guarded. 'Crunching’ I found in a squirrel nest, though."
The Raven & The Reindeer, T. Kingfisher
My new book is out today! It’s called “The Raven and the Reindeer” and it’s a retelling of the Snow Queen. It’s available on Amazon, Smashwords, and check this page for links to other formats like Kobo, Nook, and iBooks, as they become available.
And I hope everybody has a great end of the year. 2016 careens toward us at breakneck pace...
It's a collection of fairy-tale retellings I've written over the years, plus an all-new never-before-seen novella called "Boar & Apples." (Think Snow White. With talking truffle pigs instead of dwarves.) As always with my stuff that's not for kids, it's under my pen-name, T. Kingfisher, so that parents do not hastily buy kids a book and not realize that this is a book full of weird and occasionally scary dark things.
You can check it out at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, Smashwords, etc.
Links to places to buy a copy or read a sample
They announced a few months ago that they're not going to be developing for it any longer, because they're very busy and there's no money in it. And I am entirely sympathetic to this, and understand their reasoning. But--the downside--I probably won't be pursuing this game any longer because once the maker stops supporting it, stuff gets tricky.
But y'know, I put a crapload of work into the world and I love it very much and I would like people to be able to see it.
Act One is playable. It is occasionally buggy--they broke some of the art options--and there are quests that don't wrap up and the Act ends on, not so much a cliff-hanger but with a whole lot of stuff unresolved. And parts of it are dull and grindy and parts of it are probably not at all intuitive and I did not do the best job of design. The art is 99% stock because, as I said, they kinda borked some of the art options, and though I did a few new pieces, I couldn't begin to illustrate all 400+ cards, and even if I had, they wouldn't work right now.
So I am not recommending this as a great gameplay experience, because it's not all that great.
But it is a first effort, and y'know, despite all those caveats, I'm kinda proud of what I managed to accomplish in terms of worldbuilding. I love these guys very much, I love Quippet and Crazy Wool and the Tangerine Rabbit and the Silver Rat and all the rest.
I'd like to someday follow their story. It might be as a book or it might be as a comic or I might just set up a "Random World Website With Stories And Art And Poetry Written By Stuffed Sheep," or I might even find another way to do a game like this.
But if you want to play it, here it is. (Please note: If you find bugs, I can't do much about them anymore, and sometimes art shows up labelled as "Placeholder Image" which, again, that's a new one and kinda them. So tech support is not gonna be great for this However, if you get actually STUCK--as in it's broken, not as in "I don't know what to do next!" then use the support e-mail and I will try to get you unstuck!)
(If you hate games that require some grinding, you will not enjoy this. It's okay, they're not for everybody, no reflection on you! It's cool!)
It can be reached here: Cryptic Stitching
It requires a Failbetter Games account. If you would like to give them money for more turns, that's between them and you--I do get a small cut, but not much, and honestly, I'd prefer you just played it and had fun. At standard browser rates, it'll take a few days or weeks--the actions refresh at the rate of about one every twenty minutes, so it's one of those games that you do a little bit in your browser when you're taking a break from whatever it is you do normally, not one you power straight through.
And you can hopefully spend a little time in the world and maybe see a little of what I was trying to do, even if events have conspired against it.
Hi, internet! I have a new novella out! It is live! You should read it! It's called "Nine Goblins" and it's under the pen-name "T. Kingfisher."
It will propagate out to other sites when Smashwords gets around to it, so Nook, Kobo, and (god willing) iBooks versions will be coming soon. (Watch this space! Or Twitter!) If you're impatient, however, you can get an ePub version on Smashwords that will work just fine on an iPad. (Easiest way is to either buy it and e-mail it to yourself, or buy it using the iPad.)
Now, as to what the story is about…well, it's about goblins. And Sings-to-Trees the elf. (Remember him? This takes place before the Elf/Orc thing, though, although it includes most of the text of the short little bit "An Evening With Sings-To-Trees.")
This is a small epic fantasy, if that makes any sense. It is fun. And because I am starting to think such things need warnings, this story will not force you into painful personal growth, it will not tear your heart out, it will not unmake you. These characters are hopefully people you'll want to spend a few hours with and maybe come back to occasionally when the world is being unkind…that's all.
There is nothing wrong with those other things and the world is better for them existing, but sometimes I just want a fun little book with goblins and kittens and elven veterinarians, so that's what I wrote.
Thank you to everyone who bought a copy–you rock!
And–oh, yeah, I'm supposed to do this marketing thing (sorry, I'm bad at it.) If you have a review site and would like a review copy for the reviewing, shoot me an e-mail at ursulav (at) gmail.com with a link to the site and I will happily send you a free copy!
Is that everything? Am I doing this right?
Sofawolf Press wants to put out an omnibus edition (which is a lot cheaper than buying all six volumes, let me tell you) but printing start-ups do not come cheap on that. So we are proud and nervous to present--THE KICKSTARTER!
For the blow-by-blow of what it's like to spend a Worldcon wondering if you're going to win a Hugo, and then The Bit Where I Fought Neil Gaiman For Free Nachos, I point you at my blog: ursulav.livejournal.com/150880…
I have con crud. I go fall down now. I love you all.
I don't suppose any of you in the Southwest region know anybody who wants some koi, do you? My father is moving from AZ, and can't take his koi with him, and koi rescue (who even knew there WAS such a thing?!) is jammed to the gills (ha) already, owing to all the foreclosures. So we're scrambling to find homes for thirty koi.
If you know any gardeners/hobbyists that do the koi pond thing and might be interested, we've got a week and some change to rehome these little guys. Please send a note or comment if you can take all or part, or if you know someone who can--we'd all be very grateful!
UPDATE: Fishies are saved! Thanks to everybody who turned out to adopt fish---you guys rock! Homes have been found for everybody, (particularly if they can finally catch those sneaky dark-colored koi hiding on the bottom of the pool) and thank you all so much for spreading the word!
I'm a little scared, too.
Go here to order!: www.redbubble.com/people/ursul…
(To forestall inevitable questionsbecause I was pleased with their quality compared to Cafepress and others and because life is short and I flatly refuse to ever muck about with T-shirt stock ever again, and yes, it is possible that other designs will be added, but no, I am not spending a year uploading my entire artistic catalog because you will find me dead with a .PNG hanging out of my mouth like a semi-transparent tongue.)
Also, these are American Apparel shirts, they run SMALL. Their website says that medium fits most because it's stretchy. This may be true, but the art does not stretch nearly so gracefully as the shirt, so if there is any doubt, my advice is to go large, lest Nuckalavee appear even more distorted than he already is. I require a large to get over my rack myself. It fits snugly and looks good. I suspect that the medium would make me look like a sausage.
Today, I actually finally got an acknowledgment from Craig Pravda. This guy is A) the name on the paypal account of art4love, and B) shows up on a couple of other shady websites with Chad Love Lieberman, the dude who stole my art, other people's art, rather foolishly Marvel and DC's art etc.
So Craig Pravda has a Google+ account. There is one public post on it. It is about seafood. For lack of any other contact option, I commented there, asking (quite politely, might I add!) about how I could reach Chad Love Lieberman.
Today, I actually got a reply. So far as I've heard, this is the first comment any of 'em have made that I've run across.
For those not on Google+, it says the following:
Thank you for alerting us,
We have been notified by Art4Love, the company that licensed us the images that they are removing the content that they have provided us and that they have sold their entire collection.
We apologize for any misrepresentations that Art4love or its executives have made about the ownership of their content. We will continue with the game MARK YOUR SPOT and work directly with any artists that want to form BRUNCH TEAMS in their area in the future.
You may contact Art4love at 877-266-5884 or email@example.com
Don't bother with the e-mail, it bounces instantly. The phone might work, I wouldn't count on it.
I am most interested in the phrase "sold their entire collection." As far as lies go (and I suspect this is one) this is so utterly the WRONG thing to say that you almost want to take the idiocy and frame it, like a little jewel.
If people are baying for your blood for selling their art without permission, telling them it's okay, you've sold it all now is not the correct answer. It is the least correct answer. It is having someone run up yelling "OH GOD, I'M ON FIRE!" and saying "Oh! Don't worry, I have matches!" It is someone thrashing on the floor with their throat closing gasping " epi pen .dying " and attempting to open their airway by forcing peanuts into it. It is magnificently wrong.
Due to epic sleuthing by others, (check comments in some past blog posts) we have found all kinds of nifty heads on this hydra, and I am by no means the only one looking into it.
So this is how it stands. At least they know people want their blood, and have said something. On a post. About octopus salad.